Your Daily Dose of "WTF?"...

The internet is an amazing place.

Not only can you find a site catering to just about any interest, but it has now become such a pervasive medium that athletes and celebrities are regularly leveraging it's awesome power in ways that are usually more or less brilliant revenue generators.

And here I am blogging for free.

What can you do?

Anyways, yesterday the internets were quite a boon for me, as a lowly Steelers blogger.

So as a result, I have several interesting tidbits to share with you this morning...beginning with Jeff Reed...because, why not?

ITEM #1...
If you want a glimpse of the Super Bowl XLIII ring up close, check out Jeff Reed on Fox Charlotte's "Got Game" segment. This is the same segment in which he relates that when the Steelers went to the White House to meet Obama, he forgot he was a team captain...which should surprise no one.

And if you just can't get enough of Jeff Reed, and I know you can't, in clip 2 he talks about watching the Pens win the cup, the pressure of being an NFL kicker, and he reveals his stylish new haircut.

Thankfully for everyone at Fox Charlotte, it appears their bathroom was chock full of paper towels.

Otherwise, shit could've gotten real ugly.

Moving on...

ITEM #2...
Earlier in the week, thanks to The Pensblog, I thought I had found a new ringtone...

I'd give you the High Quality version of that, but we all know it doesn't exist.

But that was until Mikey from the Kiss 96.1 Freakshow alerted me to this set of magical ringtones from Super Bowl MVP and erstwhile "Pussy Monsta," Santonio Holmes.

Big PM has given us eight fantastic tones to choose from - including such gems as - "Gotta Score This Touchdown," "Hey Yo Homeboy," and "You Screening Your Calls Now?"

Conspicuously missing were "Because I Got High," "Smoke Two Joints," and "I Saw The Sign."

I'd say something else about this, but honestly, they're ringtones...I've got nothing.

ITEM #3...

Chuck Norris ain't got shit on Samurai Big Ben.

Also, notice the lack of helmet, there.

.../I'm a terrible Steelers fan

And lastly...

If OFTOT looked like this for you at any point yesterday, I apologize. I've mentioned blogger/blogspot's shortcomings before, but never has anything quite like the entire site showing up in italics happened.

...I'm so happy to be finally getting off this shithole.

Which reminds me - I'll be [tentatively] unveiling the "new" OFTOT tomorrow for Meeting People Is Easy. But, since I make it a point never to be like Anthony Smith, I can't guarantee that.

Until then, email me if you want in on MPIE, OR if you'd like to contribute to the "Cotter is broker than the City of Detroit and writes this thing for free" fund.

Yes, I do accept payment in mint milano cookies.

I can haz eight hours of sleep?

...not likely

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Everything's Coming Up..."Pussy_Monsta?"

Last night, Super Bowl XLIII hero and MVP, Santonio Holmes got a surreal new piece of jewelry.

Today, those pesky weed charges against him were dropped ("no probable cause" for stopping him in the first place...IE - see line above about Super Bowl XLIII).

But lost in all of this is his change in Twitter identity, which is another WIN - albeit more for us than for him.

If you aren't on Twitter, or hadn't noticed...

WOW. I mean, A+ for creativity?

At first, I was somewhat morally conflicted about whether or not to post this - effectively "blowing up" the man's stealthy spot.

Plus, given the natural difficulty in verifying whether someone is or is not, in fact, the Pussy_Monsta, there's still a chance that it's not him.

But then I realized, no one reads this blog.

So you can all thank my virtual anonymity for this one.

And also The Bish, who gave me the tip in the first place!

Only the most hard hitting news here at OFTOT...nahmeen?

As you were, then...

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Santonio Holmes Was Going To Have A Preliminary Hearing...

But then he got high.

You know it's a bad day when you find yourself making the most blatantly obvious joke in the history of blatantly obvious jokes.

Speaking of jokes, Jeff Reed is an asshole.

I actually had this whole long rant of about three paragraphs written about this, but then I realized, who cares. I said all that needed to be said about it two sentences ago.

Anyways, the purpose of this post was to tell you that Sansmokio has waived his right to a hearing and will either get a fine or probation, or he'll have a trial, at which he'll probably get either a fine or probation.

And remember, kids...


Still dealing with what feels like several tiny people hacking away at my brain with pick axes. Good thing I've got 40 pages to read right now. That should work out pretty well.

Thoughts?

Didn't think so.

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Speaking of Jokes...

What Do Steely McBeam and Vincent Jackson Have In Common?

They've both been arrested for DUIs.

Congratulations, V-Jacks. You sir, are the smartest man alive. With impeccable timing to boot!

Here's a tip - if you're gonna go ridin' dirtay, you should at least have the foresight to call Sansmokio.

I couldn't laugh any harder at this if I tried.

Thanks to Tec for the assist!

Jusssstttt Try And Relax...

Hey guys, guess what today is? That's right! Injury report day!

From time to time I like to masochisticly celebrate this much anticipated day of the week...and today's one of those times.

So, while it won't be fun, and it may not be entertaining, I'm going to attempt to handicap the odds of five particular Steelers taking the field for Sunday's Hatriot hunt.

KEISEL THE DIESEL

10 to 1. In fact, 2 to 1 he doesn't play for a month. Seriously? Man, that sucks! What are you smiling about, dude? Go get your shit a massage or something, for Christ's sake!

MASTER FLY W. LARGE

3 to 1. Unless he has some freak lawn darts accident tomorrow, all signs point to him playing. My sources tell me his vagina's healing real nicely.

SANSMOKIO THE BEAR

Without Weed - 1 to 1
With Weed - 6 to 1
The only way 'Tone doesn't play in this one is if he forgets he has a game on Sunday afternoon. In that case, we'll probably find him at Taco Bell.

BRYANT MCSICKGOATEE

I'm gonna go 5 to 1, here. If he harnesses the power of that chiseled-ass goat, we're good. If not, we'll have to see. Man, I wish I could grow facial hair. Maybe when I'm 30.

And last but certainly not least...

STEELY MCBEAM

1 to 1. God would never allow me the satisfaction...after all, I'm in law school.

So, how do you guys feel about all of this? Which of these injuries is potentially the worst (besides my bruised brain)? And has anyone had a nightmare involving that Steely McDevil photoshop yet?

...'cause that'd be awesome...

[Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Week 9...

Ladies and gentlemen. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. In the immortal words of a wise man some asshole from Dallas - Get your popcorn ready! Here it is in all it's glory...The [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show - Episode 8.

It's a little longer this week, because for some unknown reason we tried to get serious and keep our A.D.D. to a minimum. But we think it's better, nonetheless. This week we covered - Willie Parker's life, Sansmokio's Excellent Adventure, Aaron Smith's beastliness, Anthony Smith's bitchiness, and of course, pulled Predictions completely out of our respective asses.

And as for the Outtake Reel, well, that's pretty much business as usual. This also appears to be a hair longer than normal, but that's because we interspersed clips of us playing 007 for N64. So keep your eyes peeled for that. Oh, and if anyone knows what the name of Uncle Joey's puppet was on Full House, please let us know.

We sincerely hope you enjoy!


Bonus footage - here's us discussing the current state of the NHL...


One more time at PSaMP for good measure?

Who's Up For Some Speculation?

Question.

Would the Steelers have had any more success yesterday if Santonio had played?

Let's discuss...