Meeting People Is Easy...

So, every week I do this whole intro thing, in which I say a bunch of stuff that doesn't matter. And really it's mostly just filler.

I mean, if there are new panelists, it makes sense to introduce them, because, you know, maybe you're not as familiar with their work as you are with that of the MPIE regulars. But when it's just the All-Star cast, I think that work's already been done several times over.

Anyways, as you will see, this week's panel is...
1. Neena
2. Tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern
5. Lori
6. John Woods
7. Grumpy
8. Steve
9. Ladi Izz
10. laclips
11. Doug
12. Nate
13. Matt
14. Sean
15. Noah
16. Hey, what's up?

Once it gets up over like 14, I feel like I should split it into two different photoshops. But when I was doing this at 1AM last night, I didn't quite have the good judgment or the foresight to realize that. Actually, I didn't even realize until just now that there were 16 people on this week's panel.

Clearly I'm well aware of life...

In any case, I've written my filler, introduced the panel, and made jokes at my own expense, which means now you should just read the actual questions and answers.

I dare you to salvage more than 10% of your brain cells by the time you're done.

Oh yeah, and Lori sent me this video that goes with her Favorite Song of the Moment...


And...GO!

Click to enlarge...

Now, just for the hell of it, since I got my hands on some pictures from the Steelers workouts...


Ziggy Hood is all business.


"You see, Bruce. That's how you take down a motherf*#@er."


As usual, Jeff Reed took this shit real seriously...where did he even find a construction helmet? ...let's hope in Ben's locker. HEYO!


Pictures of everybody wearing helmets except Ben.

And finally...

GO PENS!!

See you at Foley's for Game 7!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Meeting People Is Easy...

The wait is over
The photoshop is done
I'm somewhat exhausted
But the battle's been won

Ok, you know you something's really gone awry when you start writing bad poetry to introduce Meeting People Is Easy.

Shameful.

That'll teach me NOT to write down the first thing that pops into my head.

Anyways, after a somewhat extended respite, the great MPIE has made a triumphant return. And with it, comes several new panelists with whom you may or may not already be familiar.

They are (in order of appearance)...

1. DrinkYourMilkshake ~ The man responsible for Behind The Steel Curtain's Daily Six Pack, the brain trust behind yesterday's emotionally disturbing photoshop of AQ Shipley and Kraig Urbik spooning, and an all around exemplary individual. Oh yeah, and I heard he did a mean rendition of Beastie Boys at karaoke last night. Send video if you have it. Follow this crazy asshole on Twitter, here.

2. laclips ~ The illustrious editor of This Is Getting Old, a big time Pens, Pirates and Penn State fan, and a fellow music lover. Anyone who has the foresight to use the Pearl Jam dude as their avatar is +1 in my book. Follow this pinball wizard on Twitter, here.

3. Kristin ~ The editor of KB Toys With..., a rabid Eagles fan, and yet, miraculously, also my girlfriend. She may have an unhealthy obsession with Brian Westbrook, but I take solace in the fact that I'm a solid eight inches taller than that joke (ok, like four...but who's counting?). And hey, at least she's not a Ravens fan. Plus, she's insanely cute and consistently makes me laugh. So I'm willing to overlook her misguided fandom...Follow the yin to my yang on Twitter, here.

In addition to our MPIE rooks, you'll also read comedic stylings from the likes of...

The inimitable - John Woods
My go-to political commentator - Grumpy
The Octomom's #1 hater - Tiny350Z
My brother in the bonds of old school Metallica love - Steve
The soon to be half marathon king - Marc
You may also know him as Maticulous - Matt
Possibly MPIE's greatest supporter (or perhaps apologist) - Noah
Apparently he's kind of a big deal in Taiwan - Sean
I think he might be a Pens fan but I can't be sure - Tecmo
And, of course, my dumb ass

So, I believe all that's left is for you to read this week's panel's answers to this week's burning questions.

Which I urge you to do...now.

And enjoy!

Click to enlarge...

I have to admit, I can't really count this post among my better work...

Whatever, wake me up when it's time for happy hour...I'll meet you all at the bar.

Oh yeah, and this stays...

GO PENS!

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Mid-Afternoon Grabassing and Such...

From time to time, people ask me to mention things that you all might be interested in here on these internets. And farbeit from me not to indulge a few, perhaps you might wanna know about...

1. Rinkotology
Our fine friends over at The Pensblog have come up with a way to combine a playoff bracket contest with philanthropy and have dubbed it, "Rinkotology." The basic idea is you fill out your NHL playoff bracket, which then gets entered to win some type of prize (read: probably a "date" with Pensblog Charlie), and at the same time, you hopefully donate to the Mario Lemieux foundation. The donation, of course, is optional. But if you enter and don't donate, frankly, you're kind of a dick. This is a great cause and undoubtedly any little bit helps. The Pensblog Staff have set the fund raising goal at $10,066. So do your part. Enter to win. Donate to make yourself temporarily feel like a better human being. Then have yourself a Merry Little playoffs. Or something...

2. The Bet
By now, most of you are acquainted with our buddy, Steve Braband. If not, do your homework. Anyways, Steve's girlfriend Ashley is from Philly. And being that the Pens play the Flyers in the 1st round of the NHL playoffs (starting tomorrow...so move your ass on this one and Rinkotology), Steve and Ashley are looking for ideas as to fun bets they can make with each other. I'm currently spitballing some ideas of my own, but if you think you're creative and can help these two fuel their domestic rivalry, by all means, hit Steve in the comments section of this post. I feel the need to note, however - Steve, you do realize that if Ashley wins, you win. And if you win, you may actually lose. I think you know what I'm referring to...

3. March Madness
Unbeknownst to probably some of you who have never emailed me before, OFTOT had a little March Madness bracket challenge going on during last month's tournament. Who effing didn't, right? Anyways, I'm a dick for not announcing this sooner (among other reasons), but Nate was our big winner, followed closely by Doug as the runner up and Shawn P., who rounded out the top 3. Congrats to these three for correctly identifying (guessing) enough winners to capture this year's top spots. And as the prize was bragging rights, Nate has full license to gloat in the comments here in any way he sees fit. Some prize, huh? Like he couldn't do that in the comments of any other post...anyways...

4. The Maticulous Blog
I'm pretty sure that's not the official name, but Matt has indeed joined the rest of the known universe and launched his own blog, which can be found here. Matt is the effing man. There's really no other way to put it. If you don't check this out, you're doing yourself a great disservice. Plus, next time he spins at Huckleberry, get your ass to 588 Grand St. in Brooklyn. I cannot stress this imperative enough.

Now, speaking of music, today's selection is Minus The Bear - "Absinthe Party At The Fly Honey Warehouse"...don't let the ridiculous title fool you, this is a solid tune...


And last but not least...

FAIL.

Bravo, Philadelphia Inquirer online (yes, I realize it's an Associated Press article). Two thumbs up for getting one of the highest paid linebackers in the NFL's name wrong. Plus, I see you've filed it under High School Sports. Good work on that.

What would Andy Reid do?

Go Eagles.

PS - Headline of the day will come tomorrow with probably a shit ton of links. I'm so far behind it's unbelievable. If you've got any, feel free to send 'em over. Especially if they're about Brady Quinn...

/done

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

Meeting People Is Easy...

I was going to post this last night, but when there's a game on that's in six overtimes, you can't really be writing things on the internet. Sidebar: I'm a well known Syracuse hater, but I'm an even more well known UConn hater. So well done, you orange assholes. Good luck against West Virginia...Pitt fail blog.

Anyways, Friday is pretty awesome. I don't know about you all, but I'm pretty fired up that we've made it through another week without me writing about some Steeler being photographed with his dick out.

Some people on this week's panel wanted me to share some links with you. I've inserted those where applicable.

That's what she said.

Anyways, all rise for this week's honorable panel...Presiding this week are...

1. Dan Gigler
2. Tiny350z
3. Marc
4. Vern ~ Sick beret on this guy, though.
5. Steve
6. Jon
7. bigTC
8. Noah
9. Doug ~ Will make a Photoshop pro out of me if it kills him.
10. Ben ~ I actually love this song. Biz Markie for life!
11. John Woods
12. Neena
13. Grumpy
14. Keith
15. Nate
16. Matt ~ He's 100% right about this song. Awful.
17. Domski ~ Check it out, the FAIL Blog finally got him.
18. Some Douche ~ Frankly, I'm sick of this guy's shit. He will be getting banned from this site later.

As you can see, we have one new face on the panel this week. That'd be my man, Grumpy - proprietor of the blog, Grumpy Old Dog. You've probably seen me link to it a couple of times this week. If you haven't already, I'd strongly suggest you check it out. It's a real Solid (with a capital "S" apparently) read.

Anyways, I'm still more or less comatose, so why don't you just move right on to the grids. Yes, gridS. I'm incapable of excluding anyone, so in an attempt to contain the size of these beasts, I split the grid in two this week. I was feeling kind of crazy.

That's how I do's it.

And........go.

Click to enlarge...



I'm just gonna go inject myself with adrenaline now. Coffee is for pussies.

I'll be right back.

Talk amongst yourselves.

I'll give you a topic - If you were a hot dog, would you eat yourself? (see 0:42)

I know I would (if I wasn't a vegetarian, of course).

Steelers To Make It Rain On Jimmy Harry...

Just a little post to let you know that the Steelers are already negotiating with our boy, James Harrison on a new contract.

That, in combination with this picture inspired me to write the following James Harrison rap. Yeah, you heard me. I wrote a rap.

Actually, I'm hoping that maybe it'll catch the attention of Gunpowder Jones.

Gunpowder, call me.

Anyways...

Yo, my name is Silverback and I'm killin' this mic
Just like I killed Kurt Warner on Super Bowl night

Don't disrespect me, or your ass'll get hurt
You think I'm messing around, I'll put your face in the dirt

I just won my second Super Bowl in the last four years
Like there was any doubt that I'd leave somebody in tears

Now, I'm about to rock this party like it's going out of style
I'll take the ball out your hands and run it back like a mile

Double team me if you want, hold on to my jersey tight
I guess it's only fair, 'cause I'll be holding your Moms tonight

I hope the Steelers do this thing, and make my ass rich
'Cause there's nothing left to say except kiss the rings, bitch!

Clearly I'm in the wrong business...

Riiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhtttttt...

In the future, I should probably just leave this kind of thing to Matt (Huckleberry Bar this Friday night).

Anyways, here's to hoping we lock Silverback up for the rest of his career! I love that guy...

Meeting People Is Easy...

Quick, no time for small talk. To the introductions!

This week's esteemed panel is...

1. John Woods - Still rockin' and rollin' at The Fifth Down.

2. Doug - Get Fresh Designs and Rants a plenty!

3. Jup - Dude, how was your trip? I totally forgot to ask!

4. Shawn - Holding down OFTOT's South to Southwest region.

5. tiny350z - My Hoboken buddy.

6. THE big TC - One of the only known fans of the [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show.

7. Ben - Not Steely McBeam's biggest fan.

8. Ladi Izz - My liveblog buddy.

9. Notgomu - Funny he should mention Kevin Boss...waiver wire vulture!

10. Nate - You call that chick, yet?

11. Marc - Is going to Sunday's game and I am real jealous.

12. Matt - Where Brooklyn at?

13. Silky Johnson - Still an Eagles fan.

14. Cotter's Dad - Rigging up spycameras to videotape the Pats spycameras.

15. Domski - Still molding the young minds of Delaware's children.

16. Me - One of these days, these grids are going to break me.

Yeah, you're definitely going to have to click this one to enlarge...

Don't mind me, I'll be with y'all shortly. Just gotta wake my tired ass up. Is it Friday yet? Oh wait...

And if you feel so inclined, we'd all love to hear YOUR answers in the comments. Leave them after the beep...

Meeting People Is Easy...

Dude, power walking could easily be the most ridiculous concept in the history of physical activity. I mean, no offense to anyone who does this shit, but it looks positively silly. Swinging your arms like a velociraptor and what not. Not to mention the fact that if you're going to walk fast, why not just RUN! Or jog, even. I don't get it at all...

Anyways, it took me longer than expected. And when my alarm went off this morning at 6 AM it was real difficult to get up and drag my ass to this computer. But I did. Because Meeting People Is Easy is very important to me. So, here's your panel for this week...

1. Ladi Izz ~ Must've been a fun day for her on Tuesday considering her Mom's a 'Skins fan...

2. Vern ~ Keeping things in line down in FLA...

3. TSW ~ Recently attended a taping of the Jeff Reed Show...

4. Holly ~ Lone representative of the Colts fan contingent...

5. Silky Johnson ~ Lookup "M.I.A." in the dictionary and you'll probably find his face...

6. The Chief ~ Is quite enamored with Veronica Mars...the character, not the show (an interest not foreign to me)...

7. Notgomu ~ The only one in the pick 'em league who took the Minnesota Purple Jesus'

8. Nate ~ Yes, you are correct. I did mean to say division...

9. Marc ~ Dropkick Murphys should be no man's guilty pleasure...the only thing wrong with 'em is that they love Boston...

10. Matt ~ Hint: LJKC wants a Dick Lebeau style Steelers polo for Christmas...never too soon to start shopping I guess...

11. Me ~ Starting to forget what the insides of my eyelids look like...

So as usual, click to enlarge...


Oh sleep, how I miss thee...

Feel free to leave your answers to this week's questions in the comments. Done.

Meeting People Is Easy...

Hmmm, I'm a little late this morning with MPIE. I had to cut it off last night at 1AM so as not to fall asleep amid typing with my laptop on my lap and my ass firmly entrenched on my couch. But better late than never, right? At least that's what she said (had enough of this yet?)

Anyways, I pretty much had the coolest experience of my life last night. And no, unfortunately I did not have a sexual encounter with Scarlet Johannsen or Megan Fox (not outside of my dreams, that is). But it was pretty damn cool nonetheless. I can't say anything about it right now, but that it involves this blog...That oughta make it abundantly clear for you...yeah.

Anyways, Friday. Meeting People Is Easy. After work beverage. A little Halloween action. All of these things are true of today. And given the amateurness of this post, hopefully the editorial content here at OFTOT will get better also.

As usual, I've assembled a crack team to tackle this week's toughest football questions...and that panel includes...

1. John Woods (NYT The Fifth Down) ~ He who worships at the altar of the sand knit Bubby Brister jersey...

2. Sean Leahy (Going Five Hole/Puck Daddy) ~ What a coincidence, I'll be wearing assless chaps for Halloween too...

3. The Sports Hernia (The Sports Hernia) ~ I'll be joining the crusade against this kind of douchebaggery...

4. Neal Coolong ~ Formerly of Die Hard Steel and On The Black Side, now the newest addition over at Behind The Steel Curtain...

5. Noah ~ His dog and Cotter's dog share some common breeding...

6. Shawn ~ This shall be his coming out party...in the sense that it's his first time on MPIE, of course...

7. LJKC ~ I said I would love to hear a full recap of her adventures with New Kids on the Block, and would you look at that, here it is...ish...

8. Matt ~ About five minutes quicker on the e-mail draw than LJKC...

9. Sheena Beaston ~ I believe you're familiar with this joker...no introduction necessary...

10. Domski ~ See Sheena Beaston...

11. Me ~ I don't know about you guys, but I'm going to be a full 10 hours of sleep for Halloween...

So here's the idiocy we came up with below. As usual, click to enlarge...


Catch you guys on the flipside...errr at Noon for the AFC North Headline of the day. Either way. I'm just gonna go fall asleep in the shower now. Should be a good time.

Comments welcome. Hell, feel free to answer this week's questions for yourself in the comments. The more the merrier...that's what she said. And on that note...

Meeting People Is Easy...

So I just had a random thought - How'd you like to be the guy who invented Viagra? Like how do you present that to a bunch of people?

"Uh, so I've engineered this revolutionary drug that will, uh, you know, make your, you know...dick...hard."

Seriously, that had to be pretty entertaining for everyone involved. I know it is when I think about it in my head.

Anyways, so hey guys. What's happening?

It's Friday, and you know what that means. First, it means we've successfully navigated a work week without even having the Steelers to look forward to on Sunday. Second, it also means, what else, but Meeting People Is Easy.

This week I've assembled what I believe to be a top notch panel once again. They are, in order of appearance...

1. meech.one ~ Purveyor of fine Philadelphia musings at The Fightins

2. Greg Wyshynski ~ Am I crazy or did Puck Daddy actually agree with Sean Avery on something...?

3. The Pensblog ~ Just go click on the "Right Here" link. That's all I'm gonna say...

4. Hickey ~ Maybe I should've swapped his avatar for Dan's...?

5. Dan Gigler ~ 16 pieces of Bacon? Well, I mean, it WAS a stressful game...

6. Keith ~ The Legend...of Vincent Tremblay...

7. Doubt About It ~ This is how at least one blog post a week should be written...

8. Matt ~ That's tonight, 10 PM @ Huckleberry in Williamsburg, jagoffs...

9. Marc ~ I was wondering why he didn't get his picks in last week, then he told me he had no computer. I figured that was a pretty good excuse...

10. Lori ~ I'm not even going to tell you why she hasn't been blogging this week...

11. me ~ My blog. My rules.

And as per tradition and image size, click below to enlarge...


Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go not blog now. For at least the next five minutes. You can probably expect some more later on. But I can't make any guarantees. I hear they're having cake around here at some point today. You know what that means? Food coma...

Now THAT Was Urine Inducing...

[NOTE: This is NOT Cotter...in fact, it's Domski...but it's the only picture I had of someone peeing...thank god]

At one point during the first half of last night's game, I actually thought I was going to piss myself with excitement. Then, in the 4th quarter when Ben went over the 300 yard mark, I realized I had pissed myself. Yep, I made good on my promise. Sorry, no visual evidence. You can come smell my jeans if you want, though.

Anyways, hey guys, guess what? 4-1 going into the bye, no further significant injuries - except perhaps Bens shoulder...or hand...or knee...or liver...or confidence in the O-Line - and dude, Nate Washington was the leading receiver! Yeah, I can hardly believe it, myself. He actually caught the ball. 6 of 'em, no less! For 94 yards and a score. I think if you move quickly you might be able to catch hell freezing over.

That said, the majority of the 2nd half had me sweating like Oprah Winfrey in a room full of cupcakes. We looked SO GOOD in the 1st half and then we came out looking like something Bruce Arians drew up. But, as I've become accustomed to saying, a win is a win. Some parts were beautiful. Some parts looked like Domski's face. That is to say, the opposite of beautiful.

Either way, here's my weekly list, categorized by awesomeness or blowing goatishness...

Things That Were Awesome
1. Umm...Big [redacted] BEN!
2. Mewelde Moore got 99 yards? Yeah, no shit.
3. Master Dong's Jeff Reed's right tree trunk.
4. Beating Jagoffville for the 1st time since 2004!
5. Ok, and yeah, Nate FRIGGIN' Washington!!

Things That Were Not Awesome
1. I think the refs just called holding on us again this morning.
2. The pass interference call on Face Me Ike in the end zone.
3. Oh Nate, dude. Taunting? Really? Come on.
4. Before you start stroking the O-Line, Ben still got sacked 3 times.
5. Letting the play clock run out before you go for 2? Is this another one of your "creative" strategies, Arians?

Things That Blew Goats
1. Trai Essex - 1 play, 1 sack given up.
2. Rashean Mathis can die in a fire. Then wild animals can eat his face.
3. NOT the fact that the Titans rode old ass Kerry Collins' to victory!
4. Was I staring at David Garrard's calves at one point? Bush league.
5. Watching Marvel Smith ride the cart of impending lack of O-Line depth doom.

Other than all that, I can't say much more bad or good about that game, except that we won. Did I mention that we won? Maybe I didn't tell you guys, but we won. Yeah, that's right. And I'm not even mad that I'm going to lose in fantasy because TSW has Big Ben. Now that's sincerity, kids.

By the way, thanks to Tobiathan for rocking that liveblog something fierce! As always... And also a big thanks to Dan, Lon-Ton, Jimmy The Greek, Sheena Beaston, Jahine Arnold, Will Blackwell...and [not] Domski, for helping provide valuable color commentary. I think that was the best liveblog we've had yet!

And finally, thanks to Matt for providing the beats I listened to while composing this post. He's going to be spinning in Brooklyn this Friday, and I fully plan on making my presence felt. Anyone in the general Manhattan vicinity who wishes to come, give my inbox a shout - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com. And good work, Matt. Though, it could definitely use a little Howard Tate. Sort it out, son.

PS - If you haven't already, go watch this week's pregame show. See, the beauty of it is that it's so dumb and irrelevant that you don't even have to watch it before the game. You could watch it on a Tuesday. In the rain. On a Thursday. Out on the plains. But, it will not eat green eggs and ham. So don't ask.

...BIG WIN, GUYS!!! We got a bye week to rest up, get healthy, bang strippers (if you're Jeff Reed) and come out ready to destroy the Bangles on October 19. Let's get the discussion started...

Meeting People Is Easy...

Alright jagoffs, it's Friday. And thank God for that. But besides the sheer bliss of knowing that at approximately 5:30 PM (3:30 PM if lunch consists of two or more beers) the weekend begins, it's also time for Meeting People Is Easy. Yet again, I've overextended myself, and so we've got 13 panelists today. But that's ok, just means more people to easily "meet."

So this week's panel is as follows...

1. Larry Brown ~ Gets way better emails than Cotter.

2. Tirico Suave ~ Specifically, Harvey Bars, who offered an interesting new feature idea for Head Coach '10...

3. The Sports Hernia ~ F'ing good ass satire. I mean, this is a solid 10 right here.

4. Joey Porter's Pit Bulls ~ Dr. Pit Bulls has prescribed Cotter a case of IC Light and a flask of Whiskey for Sunday's game.

5. Dug E. Fresh ~ Next time I'm in his neck of the woods, I'm fully pilfering Steely McGnome...daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

6. The Immortal Silky Johnson ~ Probably needs no formal introduction. Still loves TO...

7. Notgomu ~ I still can't believe he got every good Steeler...except the D. In an AUTODRAFT!

8. Marc ~ About to become Cotter's next kill in the OFTOT fantasy league.

9. Matt ~ Shares Tecmo and Cotter's displacement woes (living in Manhattan).

10. Jup ~ Ahem, ahem, and I quote..."Karma is a bitch for running up the score on everybody last year when they could of put Cassel into get some experience. Now they have to throw him to the wolves. I love it. fuck em."

11. Drewsifer ~ Eagles fan, part of Cotter's hetero life mate crew.

12. Tobiathan ~ AKA Steelbiathan, Cheddarbiathan, Liveblogiathan, and Rich Rodriguez.

13. Me ~ I make it rain [photoshop] like Pac Man, bitches.

And now that we've exchanged pleasantries, I give you this week's free for all. As always, click the image to enlarge...


Alright guys, good talk. See you out there.