Headline of the Day...

Let's be honest, as a contributing member of the Pittsburgh sports blogosphere, I'd be remiss if I didn't send the Pens a big time congratulations for taking Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final on Friday, thus securing their first cup in 17 years!

The Pens run up to, and through the NHL playoffs was not altogether that dissimilar from the Steelers run up to and through the NFL playoffs en route to Super Bowl XL. But what the Pens did was really incredible. A month out of the playoffs, no one thought they'd even get in. Their record certainly suggested that, and they had recently supplanted the veteran HCMT with noob HCDB, who himself was only several years removed from being a player. And yet, just a few months later, they now stand as league champions!

I'm sure they were all waiting for this post to really feel accomplished about it, too...

Anyways, besides the fact that at this time of year, there's more going on in your garden than there is in the world of sports, yesterday's lack of posting was mostly my acknowledgment that even if anyone read this blog in the first place, no one would have cared what I had to say yesterday - a fact to which the 375,000 people attending yesterday's victory parade certainly gave credence.

As for Game 7, I spent it in good company - with Tec (whom you can see right at the beginning of the video below) and Christmas Ape (whom it was great to finally meet in person!) - at Foley's, the Penguins bar here in Manhattan. Here are a couple of highlights (because I know you care)...




It was a great game to watch, albeit a nerve racking one. But in the end, the Pens had an answer for almost everything the Wings tried to throw at them. Go rewatch even the first period and count how many times the Pens shut the door on the Wings. They played with conviction and fire - this year, they weren't going to be denied. And in the end, that intensity and discipline brought them something they'll never forget.

Congrats, Pens! This post's for you!

And for no particular reason, here's a bonus photoshop of HCDB wielding a lightsaber...


Now, here are a bunch of links to keep all of YOU occupied until I can get my act together...

Mitch Berger doing his best Jeff Reed impression [Deadspin]

Big Ben shot an 81 at Bethpage, with ROCCO MEDIATE as his caddy! Also, Ben > Tony Homo, Michael Jordan and Justin Timberjoke [Post-Gazette]

NFL franchises certainly shouldn't need a rule telling them to interview minority candidates for front office positions, but if that's what it takes, then kudos to the league for extending the Rooney Rule [AP]

The Arizona Cardinals Ben Patrick has been suspended for four games for Adderall...First, Go Blue Hens! Second, this is further proof that I wouldn't last a day in the NFL [AP]

You think you're a Pens fan - well then, pop quiz... [Sean's Ramblings]

As the Legend puts it, now we wait... [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

A note on fandom [WHYGAVS]

Words cannot properly describe how hilarious this song about trading Nate McLouth is...and yet, it's not as funny as the fact that some guy actually wrote a song about trading Nate McLouth (PS - many of you may have already seen this) [Walkoff Walk]

The Pirates old school uniforms - coming in at a respectable #7 on this list of the ugliest uniforms of all time...Sidenote: there's no way you can rank the Bucs unis higher than Syracuse football jerseys and old school Padres unis...there just isn't [Moondog Sports]

If you haven't seen it, be sure to check out Artie Lange on Joe Buck...Joe Buck = Stunned [Sports Crackle Pop]

Two solid old school WWF videos...Somewhere today, Koko B. Ware is thanking Deuce of Davenport for reminding people that he once existed (no word on whether he still exists) [Deuce of Davenport]

Even liquor stores can be clever marketers, I guess [FAIL Blog]

New week, new beat from Maticulous! [Maticulous Music]

PSA for Tuesday: Be patient with old people driving...sooner or later, that'll be you [Grumpy Old Dog]

Now, on a completely unrelated note - I don't know if it's just because it's the offseason or what, but for the last several weeks, I've really felt off of my game. Every time I go to write a post, it's like each sentence is a struggle to overcome some kind of mental block. And while, frankly, my writing was never going to win a Pulitzer or anything, it's definitely seen better days.

Usually this happens when I'm manufacturing posts or when I haven't been writing as much. Maybe right now it's a combination of the two. Either way, if you've read this site for more than just these last several weeks, you'll remember that at some point, it won't completely suck anymore (maybe).

Anyways, I just felt like that needed to be said.

Thank you all for sticking with me in this time of emotional distress. Your allegiance will not be forgotten.

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Headline of the Day...

What do you do when there's nothing worthwhile to write about?

Well, besides post a YouTube video, that is...

Yep.

LINK DUMP!

Thank God for everyone else on the internets, because if you had to rely on my own feeble brain for entertainment, things could get a little hairy.

Today's "headline?"

"Cocks of a feather stick together."

I should've been a newsman. Missed opportunity.

And now for the links...

Big Ben loses out to his buddy Lebron in that awards thing everyone mentioned last week...but at least the Ben to Santonio play in the Super Bowl got "Play of the Year"...because, you know, everyone measures success by whether or not you win an "award" from the Spike network... [PSaMP]

An autographed pic from James Harrison? Who do I have to blow? I mean... [Blogbuster Sports Page]

Random AQ Shipley fact of the day - he scored 40 out of 50 on the Wonderlic [Trib]

John Clayton thinks the Ravens with "catch" the Steelers in either '09 or '10...which of course means jack shit [ESPN]

Florio's #7 worst offseason move = The Steelers franchising Max Starks...and I can't necessarily disagree...but I also found his #1 rather interesting... [The Sporting News]

Ziggy is impressing at OTAs...Ziggy Hood, that is. Not to be confused with Sean's Ziggy... [SteelCityInsider]

The Pens may be down, but 2-0 doesn't mean they're dead in the water. Reference: Caps series [The Legend of Vincent Tremblay]

It's a tough job, but someone's gotta keep blogging ignorance in check. Vern is a good man. And thorough... [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

It's always nice to see the Pirates win, but you can't really ignore the Mets lineup in this one... [WHYGAVS]

Holy blast from the past! [Deadspin]

Charlie Brown throwing out the first pitch was about as successful as the movie Snow Dogs [Sean's Ramblings]

"That's what she said" FAIL(?) ...er, something like that... [FAIL Blog]

Nothing screams "sexy" like a family full of cowboy hats. How do I get a ticket to THAT rodeo? [Sexy People]

Maticulous at Huckleberry Bar - June 12th. You should probably be there. [Maticulous Music]

"Best Song to Sing In Your Car" - get your submissions to Sheena by Friday! [Sheena Beaston]

Sometimes, a statement is so hypocritical you can taste it... [Grumpy Old Dog]

What NOT to do at weddings... [KB Toys With...]

Closing notes/after thoughts of the day...

1. Due to the size of these internets and my lack of time for surfing them, there may be some good pieces of news I missed. Oops, my bad.

2. I am literally counting the seconds until training camp. Which reminds me, if any of you are going to camp on a specific set of dates, email me. Tec and I will likely be making the annual pilgrimage and it'd be nice to meet some of you in person. Maybe share a beverage or two at Sharky's...who knows.

3. Meeting People Is Easy will actually be appearing this week. I'm calling it now. If you wanna be on this week's panel, you can assure yourself a spot by emailing me. Otherwise, you can probably just respond to the email I send out if you're part of the cast of usual suspects.

4. Please forgive the recent intermittent frequency of posting. There are a number of contributing factors, but the most salient is that I have nothing to say. Shocking, I know. I can hardly believe it, myself.

5. Balls


...just go with it.

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Headline of the Day...

Hot Off The Presses: Brett Keisel loves his job.

Good to know that the train of relevant Steelers news keeps on rollin'.

Yeah, I got nothing...

So, photoshop, woooooooooooo!

Abbreviated post, abbreviated link dump...

THE definitive 2009 Pens playoff tribute video [PSaMP]

Seriously, who cares if Silverback goes to the White House or not? Let's just move past it... [Grumpy Old Dog]

Because I really care what Jon Stewart thinks about James Harrison not meeting Obama... [Comedy Central]

Josh Cribbs not feeling the love from Cleveland... [Plain Dealer]

Carson Palmer is giving Tom Brady advice [Sporting News]

But yet, he's also got some choice words for Chad Johnson [ESPN]

Asian Pete Rose...hahahahahaha [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Pay careful attention to the pic at the end...what a study! [Cheese People]

Shero's visualizing a win...



Go Pens.

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Headline of the Day...

Ding dong, the witch is dead.

And also, Tony Kornheiser is finally out as 1/3 of the Monday Night Football commentating extravaganza.

Now, I'm a PTI fan. The entertainment value of watching Kornheiser and Wilbon bicker, for me, soars high above such other TV gems like "Tool Academy," and "Party of Five." But sadly, I think Kornheiser's short stint in the booth proves that his only entertainment value lies in his disagreeable nature.

Which is to say that I was among what I perceive to be the majority of level-headed football fans who wanted to punch themselves in the scrotum every time they heard TK's voice.

So now the crack team in the booth consists of Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Kornheiser's replacement, Jon Gruden.

While they're a far cry from the Al Michaels, Frank Gifford, Dan Dierdorf of the early 90's, I DO feel like these three are infinitely less likely to make me mute the television and listen to the Macarena on repeat rather than expose my ears to their obnoxious penchant for disagreeing with [insert whoever is talking that is not Tony Kornheiser here].

Although, Gruden isn't exactly the least opinionated human on the planet. So perhaps I'm wrong...

Ask me if I really care.

Actually, you know who Tony Kornheiser kind of reminds me of? Bob Smizik.

Am I wrong?

Anyways, these links are here to stay because, unlike Tony Kornheiser, they're not afraid of flying (PS - I dare you to find me a more laughable excuse)...

We all knew Ovechkin wouldn't get suspended for his shenanigans, but will Matt Cooke fall victim to Bettman's double standards? [PSaMP]

Hines, Ben, Max Starks, Merrill Hoge and Rocky Bleier played golf for charity. They're such givers... [WPXI]

Silverback's White House boycott is just another link in the chain of civil disobedience in sports.../see: satire [The "We Hate The New England Patriots" San Diego Sports Fan Collective]

Big Ben gave the Cambridge Springs PD's K9 unit a boost...but was that really even necessary? [Staal Tactics]

Can someone explain to me why Ed Rendell was judging the "Why I love the Pittsburgh Steelers" essay contest? Last time I checked, the Gov was an Eagles fan...has that changed recently? [PRLog]

Stefan Logan may be short in stature, but he's tall on perseverance... [Trib]

The Ravens are the new Browns...well, technically they're the old Browns, but they ARE our biggest rivals and apparently we're the other 1/2 of the biggest rivalry in the league [Sporting News]

On the list of Top 5 Clutch QBs, MJD's got Ben ranked #2 behind Tom Brady...and Donovan McNabb made the list at #5. I guess he missed Super Bowl XXIX... [Shutdown Corner]

The Saints, who you'll remember dumped Deuce McAllister (pun intended) earlier this offseason are now considering signing Edgerrin James. Uh, downgrade. [AP]

The NFL and Comcast have kissed and made up. Unfortunately, I don't have Comcast. So this news makes me bitter and spiteful. Which is to say - business as usual [ESPN]

Pens win, Pens fan shows Canes Coach a different kind of flightless bird [The Pensblog]

I missed this on Friday, but Sean has graciously recapped the story lines relevant to the Pens-Canes series [Sean's Ramblings]

Brian Engblom looks hot with a can of Pringles on his head [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

This may confirm that Hannah Storm is a Seinfeld fan. So, you know, now you know...? [Moondog Sports]

R.I.P., Dug E Fresh Rants. But the Get Fresh Designs blog rises from the ashes [Get Fresh Designs]

I'm not even sure what this is satirizing, but I'll be damned if that picture of Rip Taylor isn't the perfect visual complement to this fake news [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Listen, just because you don't have a job anymore doesn't mean your dick has to be flacid...bravo, Pfizer. Well played... [Grumpy Old Dog]

Submit your "Best Song to Fall Asleep to" to Sheena Beaston by Friday at 5 [Sheena Beaston]

Apparently I'm still posting on my other blog...this is where the REAL magic happens [The Dude Abides]

Sorry, no pretty pictures today. Tuesday feels like Monday.

You know what to do.

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Headline of the Day...

CUT. THAT. MEAT!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha...

No headline. Just relax and enjoy how ridiculous of a picture that is.

How can you not laugh at that???

Peyton Manning is one goofy looking motherf*@#er...

What's with the "Bacon" at the beginning? Don't these hacks know there's a swine flu going around? Such insensitivity. Unreal.

Links are up!

China Jack and Sally Wiggin sitting in a tree. Awesome. [PSaMP]

All I saw was the 1st picture and that's all I needed to see... [Steve Is Alive]

Ziggy Hood - if he doesn't work out as a DT, he's always got his roller skating abilities to fall back on... [Deuce of Davenport]

Wait, Larry Foote ASKED to be released?? [Post-Gazette]

Sansmokio's arraignment was today. He couldn't make it though. He was too busy eating Taco Bell [Trib]

A profile on Frank The Tank Summers [Post-Gazette]

The Ravens main focus in '09-'10 is overtaking the Steelers. Shocking. [Ravens Insider]

Eric Mangina does not have a friend in Texas [Yahoo! Sports]

The Bengals drafted a bunch of guys with character issues. What's new? [Shutdown Corner]

But at least it should make for good entertainment on HBO... [Yahoo! Sports]

Please God, no! [Shutdown Corner]

HHR and adventures in vlogging from the NFL Draft Classic [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Drew Rosenhaus doesn't think Edgerrin James will be out of work long. Gee, there's a surprise... [Arizona Republic]

I've heard "Mike Hunt" but wow, hahaha [FAIL Blog]

31 cent scoop night at Baskin-Robbins [Sean's Ramblings]

They stole this one from my personal collection [Sexy People]

And in honor of Santonio's arraingment...


It's Wednesday. Slowly but surely, my friends...

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Headline of the Day...

You'll have to excuse me, for I don't have a headline to give you today.

However, in my defense, as you may have noticed, the only NFL "news" fit to print this week is pretty much a series of peoples random guessing of which team will pick which player on Saturday.

Mock drafts. You're not cool until you've done one...

Right.

Anyways, I'm knee deep in editing a "scholarly" article for my Sports Law class, due tomorrow night. So I'm gonna go do that. I'm not sure why, though. As soon as the word "scholarly" was used, my grade automatically dropped to a C+. Oh well, at least I'll be handing in some sheets of paper that my professor can use to wipe his ass while he's grading everyone else's masterpieces, on the can.

Hmmmmm, in hindsight, the mental image that created might have been a tad, um, "unnecessary"...

Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.

Now, lastly, WTF is this???

I love the Namath tribute. AND the fact that the last time the Jets were even in a Super Bowl, Namath was QB. This guy must be die hard. I'll bet he loves Brett Favre. Go Jets.

Most of the news out there may be less than entertaining, but not these links...

China Jack and Gavin are really blowing up! [PSaMP]

Who wants to buy me this fridge?? I can pay you in blog links. Or love xoxoxoxo [Sean's Ramblings]

Steelers rings are expected to be just like I like my women - "Big" and "Juicy" [WPXI]

Tomlin happy with the current O-line...guess you can't really complain too much when you win a Super Bowl, right? [Trib]

Yeah, the Steelers def need another receiver this year... [Observer-Reporter]

Yet another Steeler who needs a new contract - Heath Miller. **SIGH** [Trib]

Some draft "sleepers" from "small schools" [SI.com]

The Jagoffs have a lot of holes to fill in this year's draft...also, it amazes me that people continue to think David Garrard is the real deal [AP]

William "The Refrigerator" Perry is in serious condition. My prayers go out to him [Sun Times]

Pat White trying to show people he's not just a clever name [AP]

Oh, Crosby sucks? Hmmm, that's interesting... [HFSS]

MAF is impenetrable...that's what she said [The Pensblog]

The Pirates win again! Marlins are the best team in baseball? Riiiiggghhhhhtttt [WHYGAVS]

If I was going to steal someone's look, I'm not sure I'd steal Jason Giambi's...but then again, I'm also not Rick Ankiel [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

Attention runners of Lancaster County: Beware Doug's truck [Dug E Fresh]

All aboard the FAIL boat [FAIL Blog]

I'm all for bashing The Hills...right on, Chris Bosh and friends [NESW Sports]

This reminds me of the time that Tec and I decided the environment was being way too coddled [9-to-fried]

I'm gonna let Tiny350z's words speak for this one: "This is sad... but I'm sorry, how do you "forget" you have a gun? That seems like a pretty important piece of property to maintain - ya know, if you have a kid and what not." [CNN]

Graduating law students job prospects = grim...FMyLife.com...no doubt this will please some of you spiteful assholes, though [Law.com]

Face it, rappers. You do NOT run the streets. Get over it [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Become a fan of the Post-Gazette on Facebook! [Facebook]

Happy Earth Day, everyone. In honor of this day, you see I've chosen to write words on the internet rather than kill trees writing on actual paper. Good Samaritan WIN.

Editing my life away...

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Headline of the Day...

It just wouldn't be the offseason if Mike Tomlin wasn't pursuing a kick returner, would it?

In 2007, it was the Allen Rossum experiment.

In 2008, it was Mewelde Moore.

In 2009, we thought it was that Stefan Logan dude from Canada (who it very well still may be).

But hold the phone on that one, because a rumor has surfaced that the Steelers are trying to get Roscoe Parrish off the Bills.

Now, I didn't really know how much stock to put in this so called "rumor," given that until this morning, the most reputable "source" I could have attributed it to was Examiner.com...which I, for one, have never heard of. But then Pro Football Talk addressed the issue. So now I feel like I can sleep at night knowing it wasn't a complete farce.

By the way, commenters over on Yahoo are clearly some of the most informed on the internets. Witness...

Must be an Eagles fan.

Anyways, even if this is true, the Steelers would more than likely have to send either players or picks to Buffalo. Because from what I've heard, they released Gary Russell because they're closer to the salary cap than Tara Reid is to giving $20 handjobs on Sunset Blvd [UPDATE: Disregard that whole thought...Russell was apparently cut because he likes the weed and unlike someone else we know (see video below), isn't the Super Bowl MVP].

But should this work out, I can't exactly say I'd be upset. I mean, let's face it, the Steelers special teams have sort of been a perennial joke, a few instances notwithstanding. Most recently, this one...

New rumor for you: Santonio hit the gravity bong before fielding that one. Pass it on.

And besides, either way, who am I to doubt anyone named, "Roscoe?"

In other news - I'm going to start basing all of my "analysis" on players' names. That can only lead to the most accurate observations...am I wrong?

Links in 3...2...1...GO!

Wow, Cowher's teeth are awfully bright, aren't they? [PSaMP]

Mike Tomlin > Josh McDaniels...and the SteezBros can prove it [SteezBros]

It's amazing they let anyone out of the city of Cleveland anymore...some rapper and erstwhile Cavaliers benchwarmer trying to shit on the Steelers [Mondesi's House]

A must have for watching the draft - RoethisLager [Blog 'n' Gold]

Silverback talks about being really, really, ridiculously rich [Sports Radio Interviews]

The first I've heard about Super Bowl rings... [Beaver County Times]

Transcript of yesterday's predraft press conference [Steel City Insider]

Hines Ward and Casey Hampton still waiting to get paid...or not to... [KDKA]

Steelers looking at Defensive Lineman [Observer-Reporter]

Steelers promise no Super Bowl letdown...isn't that nice [AP]

Jim Wexell's list of best draft bets for the Steelers [Tribune-Democrat]

Willie Gay has confidence, or "swagger." Apparently has also been spending time with Ike Taylor... [Trib]

1974 - A Steelers draft class that will live in infamy [Trib]

Jags pick up Torry Holt. Now, who's gonna throw him the ball...MJD? [PFT]

Boldin's already got a foot out the door in AZ [Moondog Sports]

Sheldon Brown not interested in putting up with the boo's anymore? [PFT]

Pens-Flyers tonight. Pensblog pre-gameday post, hoooooo! [The Pensblog]

That's some pretty good NHL playoff pickin', dude [Staal Tactics]

So much for the red hot Marlins, huh? 8-0. What now? [WHYGAVS]

I felt like I hadn't linked to my buddy HB for a while, so here [Tirico Suave]

Happy free Ben and Jerry's day! [Sean's Ramblings]

Seriously, dude. Make another speech. [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Frankly, this is the only way to cover the basketball playoffs [THE "We Hate The New England Patriots" San Diego Sports Fan Collective]

Man, how are you gonna make Snoop look smaller than the SportsCenter anchors? [The Sports Hernia]

I can't tell which is hotter - the sickening mullet or the flashy high school class ring... [Sexy People]

Man, George Will would HATE me [Grumpy Old Dog]

Here's a job for you - Pizza Hut Twitterer...Jesus. What a world [9-to-fried]

OK Computer is high up on my list of best albums all time too [Agent Orange]

Lindsay Lohan talking about getting naked in Vegas or something like that [The Superficial]

I've never seen two bigger douchebags in one headline in my life. I shouldn't even be linking to this, but I had to express my hatred somehow [The Superficial]

Wow, now that's a last name [FAIL Blog]

One for the ages... [FAIL Blog]

OctoMom trying to trademark that endearing nickname...clearly will do anything to stay in the headlines [The Smoking Gun]

And lastly, VOTE MATICULOUS!!! [Indaba Music]

There are probably a shit ton of other great links out on the internets that I missed. But, what can I say? Wouldn't be the first time I let you down, right?

So um...hey guys, I'm alive (actual existence of "life" = debatable). What's up with your lives?

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

As if I could compete with the Pens impressive Game 1 last night, or the news that John Madden has retired. Yeah, right.

I was going to write about how Leftwich signed a deal with the Bucs and Chuck Batch re-signed as the backup for '09, but honestly, at this point that's old news. But that should give you a good idea of how out of the loop I am right now. I haven't read shit for news aside from what you see below in like two weeks.

As for John Madden's retirement, since that is the most timely NFL news I can think of, well, I don't even know what to say. Obviously he's a legend, and no words that one lowly Steelers blogger could write on these internets could possible do justice to a career that's spanned decades and industries.

Even though he was Coach of the Raiders back when the Steelers and Raiders used to brutalize each other religiously, I like to think that his video game pretty much wiped the slate clean.

No, kidding aside, he was a rival at one point (before I was born), but as a broadcaster you can't really do anything but respect his longevity and popularity. Congrats to Madden on his retirement and I hope he enjoys the rest of his days with his family.

Also, John, if you could possibly take Peter King with you, I know we'd all really appreciate it.

Thanks.

Now, on to the links, WOOOOOOOO!!!!!

New Burghability commercial featuring Geno and Russian spies? [PSaMP]

Tomlin to Sweed - "Under promise, over deliver"...huh, that's my mantra too...weird [Post-Gazette]

Some more prospects are visiting the Steelers [Trib]

BTSC wants to give you free stuff for guessing games right. I say, do it... [BTSC]

According to these clowns, the Pats are still the Super Bowl favs in '09...who effing cares? [USA Today]

Browns to trade their premier receiving threat to Giants...presumably for a winning attitude? [Yahoo! Sports]

Of course, if the Giants have their way, they'll be looking to trade for Anquan Boldin...which in my opinion is the smarter trade. But hey, I just write a blog [Star-Ledger]

Don't look now but the NFL has angered Jewish Jets fans... [Deadspin]

Ravens re-sign a walking corpse [Ravens Insider]

This is old news, but Tank Johnson is now right at home with the rest of the NFL's deviants [Associated Press]

Eagles interested in Ocho Cinco? After the TO experiment, that just amazes me...but good for them, I guess [Philly.com]

Steve(and Ashley)'s Flyers-Pens preview (sorry Steve, I'm way late on this) [Steve Is Alive]

Corgi of the Day [Dog Spotlights]

John Daly + Hootie and the Blowfish = What more do you need me to say? [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

Geriatric Farms...I don't even know what to say... [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

I think we can all appreciate this sentiment... [Dug E Fresh Rants]

Dear Illuminati is a must read every week... [9-to-fried]

We're raising a generation of pussies, alright [Grumpy Old Dog]

Britney Spears gets engaged? Let me put it this way, if I bought a chick a 4.5 million dollar diamond, I probably wouldn't be proposing in Subway...but that's just me [NY Daily News]

Hulk Hogan threatening to pull an OJ? [Moondog Sports]

Hot news from Neverland Ranch via Carbolic Smoke Ball [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Thinking sunlight is a fire...that's an easy mistake to make, right?? Maybe if you're on Meth... [Some Site...Who Really Cares]

Muse playing a battle of the bands in 1994...they've def come a long way since then, that's all I can say [Muse Live]

WIN indeed [FAIL Blog]

And of course, FAIL x 2 [FAIL Blog || FAIL Blog]

My hatred for people who wear Ed Hardy cannot be expressed properly with words...gestures, yes...one in particular, actually [Stuff White People Like]

English Bulldogs rule [Upside Down Dogs]

Harry Kalas tribute. I don't care what your baseball allegiance is, Harry Kalas will be missed [MLB.com]

One final note - if you're a blogger and want me to link to something you've written, I almost always will. But as I have limited time in which to compose these "gems," I can't really go looking for every post written on every blog. SO, email me. K? Word.

Head down, nose to the grindstone. I'm not effing around today.

Leave comments if you like. You know how that whole thing works.

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Does anyone care about preseason?

Raise your hand if you think preseason games are any more exciting than 8th grade biology class (if biology is your thing, assume it's not).

Cardinals. Bills. Skins. Panthers.

No one of any importance will see significant time. No one of any importance SHOULD see significant time. Yeah, let's all get injured before the season even starts. Come on, guys.

Anyways, I know everyone's all fired up that TO is coming to Pittsburgh. At what point do you think it makes sense to start channeling our inner Eagles fan and throwing batteries at people? Just a question.

The Cardinals? Cool. Whatever. Win the preseason game. I don't give a shit. We won the SUPER BOWL. Rematch? Hardly. Whisenhunt fail.

Skins? We WOULD play the Skins in DC for preseason. Whatever. I like your monument.

Carolina? I heard Julius Peppers is unhappy. Sounds like a problem. I suggest you address it. Preseason? Are we talking about PRESEASON?!?!

I'm done on this issue.

By the way, I would've written about Jay Cutler, but I think I've covered that shit show more than enough. I'm over it. Trade him. I don't care. Send his ass to Canada. Eff it.

Oh, and this one needed a visual aid...

It wasn't for money. Nor for drugs. Nor for liquor. But for $500 worth of cigarettes. Good work, man. Too bad you can't steal chemotherapy. 'Cause you may need that later. And also, "anyone with info" means anyone who knows where the police can get some of those Steelers gloves. Just wanted to clarify that.

Links > preseason...

I have written words somewhere else on the internets [MVN Outsider]

Steelers songs and babies. What's the attraction? Who knows? [PSaMP]

Steelers brought in the lilliputian, but allegedly solid WR/PR Mike Thomas from Arizona. Haven't started my scouting report yet. Sorry. You'll have to excuse me, I go to law school. [Trib]

Steelers bring in massive human being to balance out small stature of said receiver - Phil Loadholt...and some other guy [Post-Gazette]

Plax goes to court [Trib]

Donte Stallworth has a friend in Maurice Clarett. Well, that oughta fix everything [Waiting for Next Year]

Jason Witten says TO made him better. So what? [AP]

Turns out the Steelers got screwed by the rules, not the man...either way, boo [PFT]

Some thoughts on a potential 17 or 18 game schedule [Bleacher Report]

Boldin holding out on Arizona. You're always welcome in Pittsburgh, brotha [PFT]

Lord Jupiter doesn't like Sidney Crosby. Let's make sure we interview him and put it on the internet to create controversy [The Pensblog]

The Road to 17: Flashback [WHYGAVS]

Hey, isn't that random asshole? [9-to-fried]

BTSC reviews the Steelers 2000 draft class...Tee Martin, what's up with his life? [BTSC]

Obama trying to stack his administration with some of the NFL's finest. This week, Tony Dungy [AP]

John Calipari in Kentucky [Kentucky.com]

Green Day - American Idiot the opera? [Variety]

Corgis are the best [Dogs]

Caller ID is for suckers [Grumpy Old Dog]

Travis Barker + Busta Rhymes = Guaranteed ear candy [Punk News]

In a move that will surprise everyone, MTV says they're going to actually start playing more music...from 3 AM to 9AM...MUSIC Television, indeed [NY Times]

Jesus. [FAIL Blog]

If you can believe anything you read in STAR, Angelina Jolie is contributing to the octovag's idiocy [The Superficial]

ESPN = US Weekly [The Sports Hernia]

The ONLY appropriate April Fools joke [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Thursdays are my hell. Class 'til 8. WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Hey, remember me? The dude who claims to be a Steelers blogger but has routinely taken Thursday and Friday off for the past two weeks?

No?

Damn, I'll just be over here in the corner crying, then...

Anyways, yeah, Mondays are a huge waste of time. If I had any idea what was going on, I probably would have sense enough not to try writing after a long weekend of brain cell decimation. Especially because after this, I've gotta go put my gray matter to the test and pound out two assignments I have due this week.

...party at my place!

One month or so left of spring semester = this is when things start to get really fun...and by fun, I mean fun like being locked in a dark room and forced to listen to Michael Bolton's Greatest Hits on repeat.

Right, so this headline, then...

Marvel Smith returns home to the bay area after nine long years with the Steelers.

Sad? Sure, in some sense. For a while, Marvel was a great contributor in Pittsburgh. He was part of the Super Bowl XL winning line and provided a pretty consistent effort at the ever-important Left Tackle position. Unfortunately, over the last two years it's become rather evident that his body is just not cooperating. And you know what they say...

Two years cut short by back problems + 30 years old = yep, pretty much

Will we miss him? Doubtful.

Many of you probably still want to shit on Max Starks. But as far as I'm concerned, anyone who can step in and do the job he did last year is gravy in my book. Who knows if he'll be a Steeler after this season, but I feel pretty confident knowing a 6'8", 345 pound monster is protecting Large Benjamin's blind side for another year. At least until we can draft a replacement...

As for Marvel and the 49ers - best of luck, my friend.

We'll always have this photoshop...

/single tear drips from corner of tear duct

In other random happenings...

Self-explanatory...


Still scratching my head on why they felt the need to refer to her as a "Japanese schoolgirl..."

Monday is for links...and lovers...mostly links, though...

Tecmo vs. Smizik [PSaMP]

Hey, the Steelers stop everything else...why not potential fetus making? [KSK]

Mock Draft of the day has the Steelers taking Eben Britton, OT from Arizona...also, the video highlights star Moon Township's own, Mike Boni [NFL.com]

Wow, this guy is just batting 1.000 with Texas football players... [FoxSports]

It's good to know that when you're a star football player you can get a way with probation for being a piece of shit [AP]

People really need to stop worrying about when JoePa is going to retire. The answer is - he's not. Just going to expire on the sidelines one day...mark it, dude [AP]

Sid was a monster on Saturday! [The Pensblog]

Tomlin says he's a "Western PA guy" [Post-Gazette]

A good index of NFL highlights, including Steelers highlights [NESW Sports]

Today in douchebaggery... (PS - Check out how "hitsquad" spells "believe") [CBS Sportsline]

This guy says the Browns shouldn't trade Braylon Edwards...seems like sound logic [SI.com]

Tom Brady and Gisele's wedding invite [Sports Crackle Pop]

HHR's interview with author (and fellow Blue Hen) Jeff Pearlman [HHR]

What's in a name? [Grumpy Old Dog]

Follow Amos Zereoue on Twitter!! [Twitter]

Speaking of Twitter, it's all fun and games until Mark Cuban ruins it for everyone [AP]

Steve and Ashley really need to switch from Woodchuck to Strongbow [Steve Is Alive]

I'm really glad we're all taking our dismal economy seriously... [9-to-Fried]

Haha, this really shouldn't be funny to anyone, and yet... [FAIL Blog]

I mean, I know you were all at the Britney concert on Friday, but just in case you were not... [The Superficial]

I think it's safe to assume Brady Quinn was on the guest list... [The Superficial]

Speaking of eating balls...(h/t NOAH!) [MSNBC]

Good to know that even Metallica's drummer can't play Guitar Hero: Metallica...the hallmark of a good video game [Eurogamer]

U2 + Muse + Giants Stadium = Secured! Nate, go ahead and buy your plane ticket now... [Ticketmaster]

Lastly, all you crazy assholes in the Philly area - I'm going to be in town on Friday and I was thinking of putting together a little happy hour action. So if you live around those parts, and would be interested in partaking, drop me a line - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com

Now, I'm off to check the mileage on the Camry, lest my Dad drives to North Jersey and punches me in the face...not like he's been asking me to do it for the last three days or anything...

/son of the year

So, how were your weekends (let's not even discuss Pitt)?

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

To invoke a traditional analogy - Imagine you're a juggler, or one of those meticulous nut cases who spins plates on sticks.

You've got to keep your eye on everything at the same time, but that often means spending a few seconds glancing at each ball or plate successively to make sure that they're all still in rhythm.

In this situation, if you wanted to, let's say, stop juggling and throw a fastball for some reason, it wouldn't be possible without letting all the other balls drop. Likewise, if you wanted to pull some real fancy trickery of some type with a plate, you'd be guaranteed to lose all the other plates as casualties.

And in either case, focusing exclusively on the one thing could screw up the whole balance and then you'd be starting again from scratch.

This is how it feels right now for my life.

I'd love to be writing well thought out, funny posts that are moderately insightful in some way or another. But frankly, 15 minute windows of time don't exactly lend themselves to producing a quality editorial product.

Anyways, I need to take this whole afternoon, and tomorrow morning, and possibly tomorrow afternoon off from writing this here blog.

While it IS one of the ways I normally escape from the adult responsibilities in my life, unfortunately, I can't always enjoy that luxury.

So I hope to be back in full gear tomorrow afternoon, but this unfortunately means no Meeting People Is Easy, or anything else substantive, unless something Earth shattering happens...like Jeff Reed becoming a decent human being.

Until whenever, here are some links to keep you all entertained.

Dishes are done, man...

Geno's got the right idea [PSaMP]

/shakes head, smacks forehead [Sean's Ramblings]

Lorenzo Neal wants to be a Raven? [Ravens Insider]

Look at Buffalo, getting all cute about TO... [Deuce of Davenport]

So at this point, can't we just fire Michael Vick from life? [Post-Gazette]

But not if you ask Tomlin...WTF? [Fanhouse]

A full break down of the new NFL rules from MJD [Shutdown Corner]

Trey Wingo on Jay Cutler and other things [OnTheDL]

File under "Giant Wastes of Time" - Congress to hold hearings on BCS. Hey, guys. Remember that speech the other night? The floundering economy seems to be a greater concern. But that's just my assessment, I guess [AP]

What a photo to caption! [Sports Crackle Pop]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [Tirico Suave]

WIN! [FAIL Blog]

More quotable press conferences - Obama or Tomlin? [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Analysis of last nights Lost. I stopped trying to speculate a long time ago [The Big Lead]

Dear Illuminati... [9-to-Fried]

In the immortal words of The Stranger from The Big Lebowski...

Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes the bar, well, he eats you.

You said it, man.

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Oh, Mike Tomlin is picking the Ravens, is he?

I don't even know how this is a story.

Big effing deal.

Hell, I'll go you one better and say that the Bangles will win it.

Honestly, making predictions like that is the biggest joke. Just ask Anthony Smith.

I've said some of the most random shit in the past and sometimes I've been right, which naturally gives me some type of bragging right, and sometimes I've been wrong, which naturally gives everyone else the right to point and laugh (which, let's be honest, they're doing anyway).

Some people love doing this. They may not even make statements as predictions, but when they come true, they like to revel in the credit. I can't say I've never done it. But I can at least recognize how lame it is.

And isn't that really what life is about? Recognizing your own lameness?

Bottom line - Anyone can throw random guesses out there. But in the end, it's always a roll of the dice.

Let him pick the Ravens. The Steelers are defending Super Bowl champs. And besides, they just beat the Ravens THREE times in one season. Wasn't that an NFL first?

The Ravens, much as it pains me to say, are a good rival. Unlike some other members of the AFC North who haven't been pulling their weight recently. Their fans may be some of the most miserable specimens of human beings in recent history. But that doesn't mean they can't play football.

So maybe Tomlin will be right, but at this point, it's all speculation.

And if his 2008 pick is any indication, I wouldn't rely on Tomlin to predict the division champ...

That said, let me go back to something I mentioned this morning...

Conversation over.

I predict these links will entertain you for the better part of the afternoon...

The YouTube index of how bad the Pirates are [PSaMP]

Sean with FRANCO HARRIS!!!! [Sean's Ramblings]

A preview of the Super Bowl XLIII rings??? [WTAE]

Mike Tomlin aspires to improve. What, you thought he wanted to regress? Get real. Good story...not [Trib]

Darnell Stapleton and Willie Colon got PAID. Why? Because the Steelers don't want to hurt their feelings [Post-Gazette]

The Ravens are a bunch of vags...in other news, that abbreviation of "vaginas" doesn't really work [Grumpy Old Dog]

Creation Rex is ready to take on the Titans...hear him rawr [Creation Rex]

The Browns are having an open QB competition. Who gives a shit? Neither of them stand a chance against the Steelers anyhow [AP]

Dude who Stallworth hit wasn't in crosswalk...and Stallworth flashed his lights...and then hit him anyway [AP]

Orlando Pace visits the Ravens [Ravens Insider]

18 game season? Unnecessary. Let's address the real issue - preseason sucks. Sort THAT out, NFL [SI.com]

Wow, joke or not, maybe Rob Ryan actually SHOULD opt out of his contract [PFT]

Cooking with Geno. Just, WOW. And yes, THAT Geno (h/t Steve) [Pens TV]

Jose Tabata's wife? Jesus [The Big Lead]

Aw, how cute. NJ thinks it's constituents care about the Nets. I mean, I know NJ is pretty delusional, but this is pushing it [HHR]

Blink 182. Summer 2009. I'm beyond fired up about this [Morning Freakshow]

Groundhog Day was a hell of a film. Nothing to do with this link really, except that both involve Ned Ryerson [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

Anytime you use Venn Diagrams in a post, you'll receive a link from me [You Lay On The Ice Like A Broad!]

Post title says it all [Sportsocracy]

The picture? Jesus Christ. [9-to-fried]

Winter is a bitch [Dug E Fresh Rants]

Things you need to know about, courtesy of tiny350z - How to make your butt bigger. Although, you probably could do just as well asking random asshole about that [WikiHow]

I'm not sure they write better headlines than this [Moondog Sports]

Tuesday pot luck courtesy of Steve. Not sure how the Hot Shots picture fits in, but that just makes it all the funnier [Steve Is Alive]

FAIL Blog. Live it. Love it. Routinely makeout with it [FAIL Blog]

Some potential new tunes for your ears = White Arrows [Sheena Beaston]

Hey, would you look at that? Links like WHOA!

LOST is on tonight. Get your shit together. It's gonna be ridiculous.

See you on Twitterwebs (if you follow me, that is...which you probably should...or whatever...I'm going to grab a salad for lunch)...

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Finding headlines to write about everyday is actually becoming more of a miserable experience than pretty much anything else about writing this blog.

Sure, if I had more time I could cruise around the intertubes and probably find some funny ass shit. But why do that when I can spend my evenings watching strippers fight over Bret Michaels?

Anyways, here's a headline. Moderately interesting. The Jets. Jay Cutler. Why not?

You might look at this and ask yourself - Is Cutler a fit for the Jets? Which sounds like a valid question. But while I'm sure Kellen Clemens is a future lock for Canton, I don't imagine it could really hurt the Jets to bring in a pro bowl QB either way.

That said, I don't really have the motivation to go anywhere else with this discussion.

Sorry, just not really in the mood to pretend like I care today.

One other thing, however...

Delaware, dude. Clueless.

[Segue to links]...

Steelers model trains rule [PSaMP]

BTSC does a little Steelers Q & A with Jim Wexell [BTSC]

This guy understands [Fox Sports]

The Ravens have revamped their uniforms to mirror their new defeatist attitude [Steely McGnome Predicts]

What do the grazing habits of cows and Bengals fans have in common? Find out (sort of) [Grumpy Old Dog]

TO didn't make it to the Bills offseason workouts. Probably because he's too busy making out with guys [AP]

Oh, Josh McDaniels pledges his loyalty to Jay Cutler? Don't go into comedy, Josh. Because if that's indicative of your timing...all aboard the failboat [AP]

Curt Schilling looking like a child toucher [Walkoff Walk]

Sounds like Doug and Microsoft are on the rocks [Dug E Fresh Rants]

Illuminati and adventures in whiskey tasting. Am I the only blogger who doesn't get free booze? I mean, I talk about it enough. What kind of words does a guy have to write on the internet to get that kind of action? [Great Moments in Christory]

"Sexsomnia." Or, as it's known in the streets - being a slut [Blog of Hilarity]

Lauren Conrad's clothing line ceasing production? I have no more reason to live [The Superficial]

Octovag has obviously realized that as long as she's leeching off taxpayers, she'll be in the news... [CNN]

I'd really like to be the guy who writes this blog. If anyone knows how to make that happen, please let me know [Creation Rex]

Steel City Con - April 24-26 (h/t Illuminati!) [SteelCityCon]

Some might say I mailed this one in.

To those, I say - eff off.

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AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Alright, so check this out. I had this thing all written at like Noon yesterday. But because I'm a giant vag and refuse to post anything I haven't read 16 times to make sure I've said everything funny I possibly can, it was not posted. There's a good chance that may happen again today. Sometimes you just have to pay attention to your adult-ish responsibilities. And shit.

Anyways, if this isn't funny, I'm denying all culpability.

I'm not a machine, you savages...

Read on...now.

So, putting aside the fact that the "Red Report" is the name of this Cardinals publication, I'm not sure if I find it more funny or miserable that there's actually a whole article wherein these clowns openly admit that the Cardinals want Steeler dong worse than Rosie O'Donnell wants a sexchange.

Anyways, I'm not really sure where I was going with this. I just saw it and posted it because it seemed relevant. And because unfortunately, as much as I might like to have spent the better part of my day surfing the intertubes, that's just not a luxury I was able to enjoy yesterday. As it was, I wrote this largely in the 15 minute break I had between classes yesterday morning.

...Ah, you know what. To hell with it. I'm not gonna waste your time with subpar, I haven't slept in three nights, bush league attempt at humor which probably wouldn't have been that funny anyway. Just go to the links.

By the way, there's a 70% chance that these links sweat this blog's nuts...

FACT - There are few things funnier than a Geno interview [PSaMP]

Gigler has some lofty aspirations for Dan Rooney's ambassadorship - bring U2 to Heinz. Nate has undoubtedly already friended him on Facebook [Blog 'n' Gold]

Now that Dan Rooney is an ambassador, he'll be taking a step back from running the team. Your move, Art II [Post-Gazette]

Jets block Browns acquisition of Abram Elam. Poor Mangina, now he'll actually have to evaluate some talent [Associated Press]

Like, I guess John St. Clair, who the Browns just signed [Associated Press]

They also signed Noah Herron. Some team that Mangina's assembling, huh? [OBR]

Peter King thinks it's either Bucs or Jets for Cutler. Good for him [SI.com]

Cardinals retain Clark Haggans' services. Good for THEM [Associated Press]

Ravens sign Eagles washout LJ Smith. Embarrassing fact of the day - I once drafted LJ Smith in fantasy. Epic bust [ESPN]

A Browns fan expresses his frustration at the state of the Browns affairs [OBR]

Tucked away in here - Derrick Williams hopes to show he's better than a 4th rounder. I'm sure he's not the only one... [Yahoo! Sports]

Barring anything that happens in the draft, Marc Bulger should have a fun 2009 [The Legend of Cecilio Guante]

The only word that can accurately describe Geno is "animal" [The Pensblog]

Could the Pirates contend in 2010? Good question [WHYGAVS]

Video of Obama picking North Carolina...(PITT FTW!) [NESW Sports]

Best picture I've seen in a while. Also, Steve wrote some words [Steve Is Alive]

What a picture to caption! [Sports Crackle Pop]

I know I say this just about every day, but I really do have an unhealthy love affair with Carbolic Smoke Ball [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

I would love to do this someday [FAIL Blog]

Alkaline Trio/Saves The Day tour. Would I go see this? Most likely [Punk Rock News]

Seems like a lot of effort for someone who is quitting his job, but who doesn't like cake? [9-to-Fried]

I wanted to end this with some sort of YouTube video or something. But unfortunately, by the time I got around to posting this, I could barely see the screen. Let alone search YouTube for 45 minutes to find 30 seconds of someone falling off a roof. Besides, if I wanted to see that, I'd conjure up memories of Silky Johnson in college.
AAAAALLLLLLLLRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

Go Blue Hens!

And lastly, you all are to be commended. I have a good cross section of ridiculous images. I could always use a few more. But no pressure. Just, you know, do whatever...

/I'm so sleeping right now

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