February 23, 2009

This Post Is Guaranteed To Let You Down...

The Oscars were last night, which means several things.

First, and most importantly, it means some sports blog out there is going to write a post this morning, cleverly comparing last night's winners to a bunch of professional athletes. This is the most original idea ever. This has never been done before. I can't wait to see how right I am.

Second, the fact that I watched them means I'm getting old. Traditionally, I used to be against watching this gayness. But as many of you know, one of the rites of passage of advancing adulthood is watching the Oscars, whether you care about who wins or not. Anyone over the age of, I'd say, 25, is pretty much obligated to watch this mess, myself included.

Third and relatedly, this year I realized something. I realized that there's actually more motivation to watch the Oscars when you don't care. I mean, like them or not, when are you ever going to get that many famous people in one place to hate on? My TweetDeck read like the back pages of an US Weekly last night (and yes, that may be the gayest sentence I've ever written).

Here were some of the more entertaining offerings...







Seriously, what was up with the Coldplay? Who'd they blow to get that kind of air time?

There were a lot more good ones later on in the evening, but I got tired of taking screen shots after I took those four. You can imagine where it went from there.

It appears they had a top notch Security team running the red carpet...

Drugs are bad, mmmmkay?

I joked last night that I was supposed to be Penelope Cruz's date, but I stood her up so I could write on my blog...

Moral of this story = I'm the only joke here.

I'm not really sure what to say about this...

There are so many things I COULD say, but I think that dress says it all.

Mickey Rourke has a silver tooth...

I guess silver teeth aren't just for The Pirates of the Carribean anymore?

Sophia Loren and Abe Vigoda are racing to see who can exist the longest...

Me thinks Sophia Loren may have lost some ground lately.

I'm pretty sure Emile Hirsch's date was a dude...

No hard evidence to support that, though.

Holy shit, look at how big this guy's forehead is...

That's an aggressive brow!

Whatever you do, don't stare directly into Tilda Swinton's eyes...

As usual, she looked like a dude.

Get a load of this guy's face...

HAHAHAHA!!! That's the only thing you can say to that.

Oh, and I hear that Slumdog Millionaire movie sucks.

Anyways, all things considered, I'd say I had a nice weekend. Did a lot of reading. Screwed around a little. Drank two solid Brooklyn Brewery beverages...

What's not funny about this is - There goes my disposable income for the next two weeks.

I also played around in Photoshop a little. I've been trying to work on a redesign of the blog, including a new header, and for some reason, I was sitting on my couch on Saturday and it hit me. Who's got one of the most famous thumbs-up poses in the history of the universe?

The Fonz, of course. No idea why I thought about the Fonz. No idea where that came from at all. But there it is. So then I thought - What other pictures of people giving a thumbs up could I use for some new goodness?

The following is what I came up with...


I erased this image from my hard drive (and my brain) and was too lazy to download this copy to photoshop the ring in, so...yeah. Oops.


I'm sure some of you will be tempted to make a comment about Rich Rodriguez. Don't bother. He's in Michigan. He can't hurt you anymore.


This is the Buddy Christ. But then, if you've seen Dogma, you already knew that. Religion, eff yeah!





Banana hammock.

Domski told me to design a ring since the Steelers haven't gotten their XLIII rings yet. But that sounded like too much work. Photoshopping someone's head on someone else's body is one thing, designing Super Bowl rings is a whole different story. One that I'm not even getting into. So I just used the XL ring instead. I'm sure you'll forgive me.

Here's a picture of a hot chick wearing a Lemieux jersey...

No real reason for that other than the fact that she's hot and she's wearing a Mario Lemieux jersey.

Lastly, I made it through the 1st round of Sean's Best Pittsburgh Sports Blog Tournament. Which means starting today, I'm up against Empty Netters in the Sweet Sixteen round. Since I know my chances of winning this are about as good as a cupcake's chances of survival at Romeo Crennel's birthday party, I'm not going to make a whole lot of noise about you voting for me. But if you feel like it, head on over and give me a nod. I'll high five you after.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The combine was on all weekend. I didn't get to see any of it, because I was too busy learning the federal rules for introducing hearsay evidence (and cutting myself). Also, because I don't get NFL Network. But mostly that first part.

I heard AQ Shipley was making some waves, though...

If that picture's any indication, it looks like he's fired up. Moon Tigers.

So, did you guys catch any of the combine? How was it?

PS - Tec's got some new digs. You should probably go check them out. This is a banner moment. For both man, and mini pony, kind. Now, go.

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9 comments:

Marc said...

Holy shit, who is on the sled that AQ Shipley is pushing, that dude is a house

tiny350Z said...

I have it dvr-ed. I will probably watch it today, while I work. LB's and DL today.
We didn't watch the Oscars... well, in its entirety. We watched the final part. Sophia Loren seemed drunk, or old... or both.

Get Fresh Designs said...

I have to say I did turn on the Oscars after The Rock was over, because nothing else was on. But I did have to turn it off whenever Hugh Jackman came out and talked all wussy and was singing and crap. Wolverine does not talk like that or sing.

tecmo said...

Thanks for the link, Cotter!

Cotter said...

marc ~ I don't know man, but how badass does he look in that picture? Could be a sleeper?

tiny ~ I think that was just Dementia.

doug ~ "I have to say I did turn on the Oscars after The Rock was over, because nothing else was on. But I did have to turn it off whenever Hugh Jackman came out and talked all wussy and was singing and crap."

So you're saying you watched two minutes of it?

tec ~ You mean the FOUR links? Hahahaha, of course man!

Furthermore, I congratulate you all on not making a joke disagreeing with my contention that anyone over the age of 25 is obligated to watch the Oscars. That'd be the cliche thing to do.

tiny350Z said...

marc The beast holding the bag is Garrett Reynolds from NC. Apparently, he's not very versatile... a "right tackle only". Yeah, I'm just regurgitating the info I heard.

Steve Braband said...

"my chances of winning this are about as good as a cupcake's chances of survival at Romeo Crennel's birthday party"

- Best Line of the 2009 Offseason.

Get Fresh Designs said...

yeah, pretty much.

I saw the award I wanted to see, Heath Ledger winning. Then Will Smith was on presenting like 10 awards in categories no one cared about.

Cotter said...

steve ~ It's funny because it's true.