December 23, 2008

Um, No...

3rd Grade English FAIL!

Hey kid, when you mean the contraction form of "you are," there's an "e" on the end and an apostrophe before the "r."
Who's tired? Raise your hand. What? Only me? Shit. Guess I better write something then, huh?

Ok, fine.

So it's Browns week, right?

You'd think that'd make it super easy to find things to write about. But what do you want me to write about? How the Browns might be starting Bruce Gradkowski on Sunday? How Brady Quinn may/may not have been punched in the face by Shaun Smith (more on this for AFC North Headline of the Day)? How Chris Mortenson reported last night that the Browns are already searching for a new coach?

Well, I'll tell you one thing. That last one's out, 'cause these days Mort is about as credible as sports blog #57,690.

How about this?

The Browns are in a perpetual state of suckage right now. So the low hanging fruit is Browns Failblog. Below you'll find a bunch of Browns failures, complete with my own failed endeavors into being a decent human being and/or writer. Can you believe I only took one English class in College? I know. Me neither!

Oooooo, pretty pictures...

Jenny Craig FAIL!

Beard Fail! Shave that shit, man. You're embarrassing yourself.

Mascot Fail!

Not looking like a turd FAIL! You three look like total butt nuggets.

Reception Fail! You're supposed to throw it to Braylon Edwards, Ken.

Oh noes, not againz!

FAIL! Yeah, you too, Marvin. And you don't even have anything to do with the Browns.

NOT Fail. Josh Cribbs is the only Brown I fear...Special Teams, I'm looking in your direction.

Turnover Fail! I've always found that it helps to hold onto the ball when you get a turnover. But that's just me.

And finally...

Judgment Fail! What're ya plannin' to do with that bottle there, fella?

You guys got any of your own you'd like to share? I left y'all a few gaping holes in there. Find 'em for a gold star...


Lori said...

Oh the browns. My favorite was "not looking like a turd FAIL" My non football friends in Cleveland are always "What the fuck is a brown? What a bad name!"

domski43 said...

the browns fan throwing that beer bottle is one of my favorite pics ever.

He looks like he is either going to cry or crap his pants.

Is that a hot dog in his left hand?

stay classy cleveland

shawnk said...

Looks like Braylon made a commitment not to shave until he goes a game without dropping a pass.
That beard is gonna get long.

Cotter said...

lori ~ Oddly enough, that was one of my alternate post ideas. But then I decided, who cares? Call 'em what you want, they're still gonna be garbage.

domski ~ A hot dog or...yeah, not even gonna go there...

shawnk ~ ZING! I'm going to say ouch for Braylon. Truth hurts, doesn't it...