This Is Not Show Friends, It's Show Business...

"I've never gone to a place where fans go out of their way to make your life a living hell."
- Bengals Fan #1

"Pittsburgh is home to nasty, horrible, classless fans."
- Bengals Fan #2

So as I was making the rounds of this here world wide web this morning, I came across a topic struck me as particularly noteworthy -- My man Coolong over at Die Hard Steel found an interesting article in today's Cincinnati Enquirer (PS - pretty sure the word is "Inquirer" but I didn't name the thing...) about Steeler fans "reprehensible" behavior toward Bengals fans at Heinz Field.

This is actually the same thing I remember hearing the last time we played the Browns. The whole "classy" vs. "classless" argument. In fact, when that buzz was swirling, I remember some of my Steeler blogger brethren engaged the Browns fans quite readily, while I chose to let the scoreboard do my talking for me. Nonetheless, it really gets me heated when I read shit like this.

So let me get this straight - Steeler fans are dicks to opposing fans in their stadium but Bengal fans are perfectly cordial and inviting to Steeler fans at Paul Brown Stadium? Get a clue. I guarantee any Steeler fan that attends a game at PBS would get the same uninviting, tasteless taunting that a Bengal fan would get in Pittsburgh. This has nothing to do with Steeler fans in particular. Any fan who attends a game in an opposing team's stadium is bound to get shit on. What do you expect them to do - shake your hand and say "I hope we have a good game today?" It's FOOTBALL. This is a BATTLE. I won't belabor the point any further, but listen -- Do not think you're somehow being slighted if you're a Bengal fan at Heinz Field. It's not because you're a Bengals fan, and Steeler fans are not any worse than any other fan base. If you choose to travel to an opposing teams stadium, expect that you will catch some flack.

For christ's sake - if you think Pittsburgh is bad, what do you think it would be like in Philadelphia?

Reference Material:
Enquirer feature piece paints Steelers fans in negative light [Die Hard Steel]
A little Northern inhospitality [Cincinnati Enquirer]

Being Bad Never Felt So Good...AKA Cincinnati Preview Part I

Holy shit...wait, you mean the media is talking about Chad Johnson? Wow, that's pretty unexpected...

But seriously. This week, the Steelers get the dubious distinction of taking on the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium. The Bengals are fresh off a 38-31 win against the hapless New York Jets. So they might be feeling pretty good about themselves, despite the heavier than usual media circus surrounding star wideout Chad Johnson...who after maintaining an impressively low profile this past weekend said yesterday "he won't change to satisfy his critics." Whatever the hell that means.

Overview: The Bengals are currently occupying the basement of the AFC North at 2-4, but that definitely does not mean we should take them lightly. Notwithstanding the fact that this is a division game, and that alone is enough to motivate them, they still have some offensive weaponry the likes of which we are not exactly well equipped to contain. Mainly I'm talking about Carson Palmer, TJ Houshmanzadeh (not even going to look up spelling on that...he should probably change his name), and Ocho Cinco-Chad Johnson. Both Houshmanzadeh and Johnson are big, fast receivers, and given what just happened in Denver, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried about this. Johnson is #2 in overall receiving yards, averages 17.4 yards per catch and has 3 TDs through 7 games and Houshmanzadeh is #7 in overall receiving yards, averages 10.7 yards per catch and has 8 TDs.

Offensively: Cincy as a team averages 371.7 yards of total offense , with 273.7 of those coming through the air, just under 100 on the ground, and scores an average of 27.3 points per game, which is good enough to place them a few spots above the Steelers in total offense.

Most recently they experimented with an emphasis on something new and different for them called the run, and had some pretty good success (Kenny Watson - 31 carries, 130 yards, 3TDs...fantasy stats like whoa). Nonetheless, I worry less about the Bungles rush attack than them moving the ball through the air so as to put up a lot of points...in case you didn't get that already...

Of course, their schedule has thus far included such less than stellar defenses as Cleveland(put up 51 points in a Loss), Seattle(put up 21 points in a Loss), Kansas City(put up 20 points in a Loss), and New York(a 38 point Win). So it's entirely possible (I'd say more than possible but I'm reluctant to, after that Denver debacle) that we could shut them down, should we play like the #1 defense in the league.

One other thing in particular I want to note: The only team to allow them less than 20 points so far was the Patriots. The Pats stifled the Cincy offensive juggernaut, allowing a meager 13 points, picking Carson Palmer twice and limiting Ocho Cinco to 55 yards receiving. So from our perspective, film from this Patriots game should serve as good reconnaissance - we'd be apt to check out what exactly the Pats did so effectively ... and game plan similarly.

Defensively: The Bengals are in some pretty dire straits. They recently converted Robert Geathers, a DE, to a Linebacker because if they didn't, they would've likely had to pluck someone from their practice squad to fill the position (as I understand it he's now back to his normal spot, providing Ahmad Brooks can go). Never a good sign...

With 187 points against thus far this season, they rank 29th out of 32 in points allowed. They are giving up an average of close to 5 yards per rushing attempt, just over 7.5 yards per pass, and have allowed 16 passing TDs (good enough for 2nd to last ranking for the stat)! So it's pretty safe to say we should be able to have our way with them so long as we can avoid the obligatory costly turnovers...ahem ahem.

Now, let me say - just because they have let up 16 TDs through the air, doesn't mean we should get away from what has worked. Steeler football should be effective against Cincy. If we run Willie 25-30 times, pass the ball efficiently, and come up with a few big pass plays, we should do very well.

More on this to come tomorrow and Thursday, but until then, this ought to give you just enough to pique an interest...If not, I'm betting this will:
Bengals Stats:
[ESPN]
[Pro-football-reference]

What Is This? The 8th Grade?

You might recall me reporting last week that the Bengals are having a little problem with some rats with wings. And you might recall that their initial solution for said problem was to allow employees to ready their firearms, take aim and blow these birds out of sky...er stadium as it were.

Well, as you could imagine, this didn't really mesh with how the City of Cincinnati saw the problem getting resolved (nor the omnipresent PETA). So just to update you on the actual resolution of this issue -- the City and Bengals employees agreed that the best way to go about clearing these pigeons out was to aim laser pointers at them.

Boy, I would've loved to have been at that roundtable meeting of the minds. If you can only imagine. "Gentleman, we have a problem. Birds are shitting on our fans and their tasty treats at games. We just can't have this tarnishing the good name of Cincinnati, Ohio. The team has offered to shoot these things with air rifles, but eh...I'm a little skeptic. What would you all propose we do? Oh, laser pointers? Yeah, good call. It sufficiently angered my 8th grade biology teacher. So I guess if it worked on one pest, it's worth a shot."

I mean honestly. The logic? Where does that come from? Oh wait, that's right. These are the same jackasses that put cinnamon in their chili. Doesn't that say it all...

Hope you're all enjoying the game!

Bengals to Use Laser Pointers to Rid Stadium of Pigeons [ESPN]

The Internet Continues to Amaze Me...

Boy, the creativity some people have is unbounded. Thank god people like this Ryan Parker character are putting said creativity to good use. Dude created the video below (I'd imagine back in December), taking the old Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer carol and changing the lyrics to reflect the Bengals copious troubles with the law.

Who Dey Gon' Arrest Next?

Via AOL FanHouse Blog

But more importantly, and maybe as a reward for sitting through that first video, check out Bengals cheerleader tryouts below...clearly these chicks are not eating the Cinnamon Chili...I like how the head honcho says

"Being a Ben-Gal is...we have a lot of standards that we set..."

Hope those standards aren't anything like the team's standards there honey...

Other things to look out for - the girl who is really worried about her lipstick and also wants a cheeseburger...as well as the girl who says "I think anyone would be honored to be a part of this organization"...

Starting The Day Off Right...

You guessed it, links links and more links, with a little wit and sarcasm sprinkled in. A lot of crap for me to point out (poke fun at) over the past couple days. I must admit I have been a bit distracted...having a job and a blog is tough man. But hey, I gotta feed the monkey...and we all know this inconspicuous corner of the internet that is One For The Other Thumb ain't exactly paying the bills...

Anyways, without further ado, enjoy the links below:

• Ron Mexico gets his hair did....hopes for new rules with new haircut...Petrino says "I think Mike's new do looks fierce!"...Are we seriously even talking about this? Who is getting paid to report on this crap? Oh wait...I'm reporting on it for free?...umm...nevermind


• Pretty sure there should never be any coverage of the "greats" of fantasy football...cause frankly guys (and by guys I mean those of you who think fantasy is the measure of your manhood...don't lie, I know you do) it's "fantasy"...by definition not real. No player's true greatness will ever be measured strictly by his fantasy numbers. That being said, I'm taking LaDanian Tomlinson with the first pick in the 2007 Domski Fantasy Football League Draft...


• Things that happen once a month for $1000...


• Cincinnati chili claims another victim...Stuff will make you crazy, mark my words...


• The football equivalent of penis envy...if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, what do you call obsession?...


• God I hope this turns into a pitcher's duel between Louis Lipps and Ken Wregget...


• Playing musical chairs with 300 pounders...Steelers are really building the suspense here...


• Are you telling me the Steelers are old school? No way...get right out of town! Seriously?...

Ocho Cinco's Circus Show....

The circus that is Chad Johnson, or as both he and I prefer to call him - Ocho Cinco, has taken on a new challenge as of yesterday, May 30, 2007. Apparently, Senor Cinco believes he is fast enough to outrun a race horse, who probably not coincidentally is named after a popular Bengals TV Show, Restore the Roar.

Let me just state upfront, I'm putting all my money on the horse. All due respect to Chad, but I've seen Ocho Cinco run and I've seen horses run, and frankly, horses are pretty damn fast. Johnson may embarrass corners on a regular basis but I'd be surprised if he had any shot at beating a stallion bred solely to run around a track at ridiculous speeds (and who may or may not be all roided up). That being said, Johnson is getting an 8 pole lead to start the race and the whole thing is for charity, so I'm pretty sure he knows he's going down.

I'm chalking this up to eating too much cinnamon chili. Until they start making chili like normal civilized americans, this kind of ridiculous crap is going to keep happening in Cincinnati, mark my words. But hey, at least 85 has yet to run afoul of the law.