Just Hold Me, Baby...

Now, you guys know I don't like to complain about officiating. Mostly I figure if you get flagged for something - A. You've probably put yourself in a position to be penalized and/or B. If it's a shitty call, you have to chalk it up to human error (not that it means you can't be pissed off about it). But after hearing this talk all season about how Silverback is "held on every play," I decided to have a look for myself.

So I rewatched [painfully] the first half of Sunday's game, keeping a watchful eye on #92. What I saw was about five different occasions of what I thought was pretty clearly holding.

Now, I've gotta reiterate, I don't know what it's like to be an official. I mean, I never even played football (plus, I have a soul, so). I just have a general sense of what holding is and so I was pretty judicious when vetting these plays. I didn't call anything holding I didn't think was pretty obviously holding.

Oh, and I tried to keep track of which plays were which. But you might as well assume that there's only a 45% chance that I got them right (as usual). If you really wanna know, go see for yourself. Bottom line is they happened.

Anyways, some might say you can call holding on every play. To those people I say - Whatever, I'm just trying to write about something for this here weblog. Some might also say I should get a life - sitting here analyzing a game that happened three days ago. To those people I say - you are obviously not Steeler fans. But in case all YOU Steeler fans are interested, check the evidence below...

HOLD #1 - 1st Play of the Chargers 2nd Drive
Time Stamp : 10:14 left in 1st Quarter
Perpetrator: TE Antonio Gates




HOLD #2 - 5th Play of the Chargers 2nd Drive
Time Stamp: 8:18 left in the 1st Quarter
Perpetrator: Appears to be LT Marcus McNeill and LG Kris Dielman(?)




HOLD #3 - 1st Play of the Chargers 3rd Drive
Time Stamp: 0:12 Seconds Left in the First Quarter
Perpetrator: FB Brandon Manumaleuna




HOLD #4 - 3rd Play of the Chargers 3rd Drive (aka The Safety)
Time Stamp: 14:54 Left In The 2nd Quarter
Perpetrator: FB Brandon Manumaleuna





HOLD #5 - 2nd Play of Chargers 5th Drive
Time Stamp: 3:39 Left in the 2nd Quarter
Perpetrator: LT Marcus McNeill and LG Kris Dielman










I think there was a 6th, but frankly, I'm not going to go back and watch this shit again. And hey, maybe this won't get us anywhere with the league, but at least my phone's got some new wallpaper. Suck a dick, officials.

Silverback - You can't stop him. You can only hope to...have him committed?


I'm done for the morning. Let's discuss.

Now THAT Was Urine Inducing...

[NOTE: This is NOT Cotter...in fact, it's Domski...but it's the only picture I had of someone peeing...thank god]

At one point during the first half of last night's game, I actually thought I was going to piss myself with excitement. Then, in the 4th quarter when Ben went over the 300 yard mark, I realized I had pissed myself. Yep, I made good on my promise. Sorry, no visual evidence. You can come smell my jeans if you want, though.

Anyways, hey guys, guess what? 4-1 going into the bye, no further significant injuries - except perhaps Bens shoulder...or hand...or knee...or liver...or confidence in the O-Line - and dude, Nate Washington was the leading receiver! Yeah, I can hardly believe it, myself. He actually caught the ball. 6 of 'em, no less! For 94 yards and a score. I think if you move quickly you might be able to catch hell freezing over.

That said, the majority of the 2nd half had me sweating like Oprah Winfrey in a room full of cupcakes. We looked SO GOOD in the 1st half and then we came out looking like something Bruce Arians drew up. But, as I've become accustomed to saying, a win is a win. Some parts were beautiful. Some parts looked like Domski's face. That is to say, the opposite of beautiful.

Either way, here's my weekly list, categorized by awesomeness or blowing goatishness...

Things That Were Awesome
1. Umm...Big [redacted] BEN!
2. Mewelde Moore got 99 yards? Yeah, no shit.
3. Master Dong's Jeff Reed's right tree trunk.
4. Beating Jagoffville for the 1st time since 2004!
5. Ok, and yeah, Nate FRIGGIN' Washington!!

Things That Were Not Awesome
1. I think the refs just called holding on us again this morning.
2. The pass interference call on Face Me Ike in the end zone.
3. Oh Nate, dude. Taunting? Really? Come on.
4. Before you start stroking the O-Line, Ben still got sacked 3 times.
5. Letting the play clock run out before you go for 2? Is this another one of your "creative" strategies, Arians?

Things That Blew Goats
1. Trai Essex - 1 play, 1 sack given up.
2. Rashean Mathis can die in a fire. Then wild animals can eat his face.
3. NOT the fact that the Titans rode old ass Kerry Collins' to victory!
4. Was I staring at David Garrard's calves at one point? Bush league.
5. Watching Marvel Smith ride the cart of impending lack of O-Line depth doom.

Other than all that, I can't say much more bad or good about that game, except that we won. Did I mention that we won? Maybe I didn't tell you guys, but we won. Yeah, that's right. And I'm not even mad that I'm going to lose in fantasy because TSW has Big Ben. Now that's sincerity, kids.

By the way, thanks to Tobiathan for rocking that liveblog something fierce! As always... And also a big thanks to Dan, Lon-Ton, Jimmy The Greek, Sheena Beaston, Jahine Arnold, Will Blackwell...and [not] Domski, for helping provide valuable color commentary. I think that was the best liveblog we've had yet!

And finally, thanks to Matt for providing the beats I listened to while composing this post. He's going to be spinning in Brooklyn this Friday, and I fully plan on making my presence felt. Anyone in the general Manhattan vicinity who wishes to come, give my inbox a shout - onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com. And good work, Matt. Though, it could definitely use a little Howard Tate. Sort it out, son.

PS - If you haven't already, go watch this week's pregame show. See, the beauty of it is that it's so dumb and irrelevant that you don't even have to watch it before the game. You could watch it on a Tuesday. In the rain. On a Thursday. Out on the plains. But, it will not eat green eggs and ham. So don't ask.

...BIG WIN, GUYS!!! We got a bye week to rest up, get healthy, bang strippers (if you're Jeff Reed) and come out ready to destroy the Bangles on October 19. Let's get the discussion started...