February 10, 2009

Time To Put Your Kevin Colbert Hat On...

Since I know some of you may have reached this post from Behind The Steel Curtain, if you want to read a real post about free agency, I'd recommend the Day Two post, here. The difference is that one is written in actual English instead of semi-comatose rambling. Still rambling, but you get what I mean. Plus, there's probably about 1,000 better posts on here. So feel free to poke around if you've got some time on your hands.
I swear I was going to do something way better than this, but then I realized that I'm really friggin' tired. Honestly, writing this just now, I've determined that I don't even have the mental acuity to be remotely funny today.

Whatev, they can't all be winners, right?

Anyways, here's the deal - I was going to dump all of the dudes who are free agents into this one post and go through them one by one, but frankly, it's the offseason and I usually spend the next oh, couple of months or so straining my brain to try and think of things to write about. Inevitably some Steeler always gets caught with his wang swaying in the breeze, which helps. But otherwise it's all nominal until the draft starts to creep up on us.

So for my own convenience, and for the sake of what I might characterize as "serviceable discussion," I thought I'd break this up and give us a few guys a day to "analyze." That way, I don't have to start cutting myself next week when I've exhausted all of the relevant topics until March, AND we can all throw our opinions into the mix on a smaller set of rather large individuals.

Now, y'all probably know I'm not really what you'd call a numbers guy. To be honest, the last time I had to do any kind of heavy lifting mathematically was the SATs. Let me put it to you this way - some of my peers at law school brought calculators to our Criminal Law final. Lawyers [generally] are not a head's up bunch when it comes to math...unless that math involves billable hours, of course (ba-dum-ching). And I'm no different. So if you want to bring financials into the mix, rock on. I don't know what these guys are currently getting paid. I could look it up, but that sounds like a lot of work. It's obviously a consideration, and a big one at that. I just don't feel like taking the time to think about that right now. But don't let that stop you. Go ahead and help us put this all in perspective.

That all said, today I've chosen to get this party started with...

Charlie Batch ~ Chuck Batch, dude?

Why did I start with Chucky Batch? This is painful. I love me some Chuck Batch, but I gotta say let him go. Only because...

Byron Leftwich - Re-sign his ass.

Charlie Batch is a fantastic individual, but I mean he's 34. The only way I say we keep Batch and let Leftwich go is if Lord Byron wants too much loot, which is certainly possible. I mean, I doubt anyone is going to give him a starting job...well, maybe the Lions...and if he's going to be a backup anywhere, might as well try and keep him in Pittsburgh. That said, I honestly have no idea how the Steelers front office is going to look at this sitch. Either way, in Kevin Colbert we trust.

[NOTE: I gotta get my own head out of my own ass. Thanks to Nate for pointing out Leftwich's stated objective to find a starting job elsewhere. Had I spent more than five minutes researching, I'd have known that too. Oh well, this is what happens when you try and rush a post up because you've been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all day and haven't been able to write anything. Apologies for being a waste of space. I need a nap.]

And then there's the piece-de-resistance, the must-sign. Allen Iverson is a scrub, THIS GUY is "The Answer"...

Mitch Berger

I think we all know how this is going to work out. Sorry Jeff Reed, you're going to have to teach that dance y'all do to Daniel Sepulveda. It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. Take 'er easy, dude. I know that you will.

Then, finally...

Cris Collinsworth is a toolbox.

It needed to be said.

Now, unfortch, we also all have to keep in mind the fact that the following guys have one year left on their current contracts - James Harrison, Hines Ward, Brett Keisel, Heath Miller, Ryan Clark, Jeff Reed, Casey Hampton, Deshea Townsend and Larry Foote. All of whom I'd love to keep. So that should throw an interesting curve at this year's free agency sitch, knowing that we gon' need some CASH to re-sign all or even some of these dudes.

But what do y'all think about these three?


Nate said...

Batch stays until Dixon's ready to be the primary backup. Leftwich will find starting work elsewhere - it's his stated priority. No need to throw senseless money at Leftwich when it so badly needs to be spent on the O-line.

Colbert will punt Berger further than Berger can punt a football.

I hate to hate on your hate, but I don't mind Collinsworth . . . just somebody put Phil Simms out of my misery.

Cotter said...

You're probably right about Byron, especially given the money he'll want, even as a backup (apparently we signed him for one year at the league minimum or something).

I'll still take Batch any day of the week. I was just saying that Leftwich is younger and proved to be a pretty good backup in very limited action this year. So if this were a perfect world, I'd keep him over Batch.

And I'm sorry, but Collinsworth is a severe douche. Simms is too, but Collinsworth, I mean, just look at him.

matt said...

Leftwich will start elsewhere - his success remains to be seen...I liked him as a backup though

I'd bet Berger starts somewhere else too, given other teams reaction to a SB champion. Berger was good at one point. (you know when he was younger and didn't suck)

Cotter said...

Yeah, to be honest if I was a team looking for a starting QB, I'd label him "buyer beware." Has he even proven he can start a full 16 game season without getting hurt? I don't think he's had one yet.

Still, anyone's gotta be better than Tavaris Jackson...hint hint.

domski43 said...

i have a feeling that leftwich will test the market and end up coming back to the burgh. Drafting a young qb is so in right now thanks to Unibrow and Matty Ice. chuck b has been an awesome back-up and outstanding citizen around the burgh. I know he loves his hometown, so maybe they can find a place for him on the coaching staff (remember no salary cap for coaches).

I'm definitely concerned about the upcoming uncapped year in 2010, so getting deals done ahead of time for Harrison, Miller, and Reed are priorities in my book. Hopefully, Ward will sign for a hometown discount, so he can end his career as a Steeler. Keisel and Hampton are getting a little older, hopefully they sign, but I look for the Steelers to address the defensive line position in the next two drafts. It would be great to be able to keep Ryan Clark and Townsend, but these positions are very replaceable.

In Colbert I trust.

big TC said...

i herd rumors of the steelers pulling a peazy releasing larry foote to make some cap room. i have mix feelings about that rumor. i think timmons is ready, but foote is pretty decent. And it will give up some cap room to re-sign guys like nate and mcfadden

Anonymous said...

There are rumors that Larry Foote wants to finish out his career in his home town, Detroit. I'm wondering if we could get a draft pick for him.

I think Byron could find a couple of places that will give him a shot at starter (just about the entire NFC North sans Green Bay is pretty shaky at QB).

That is the best photo of Collinsworthless! His crow's feet almost reach his chin. What a dickwad.

tiny350Z said...

I like the idea of creating a coaching spot for Chuck B... Watching him on the sidelines with Ben was nice this season. But I think he still has some time left in him to play.
I wish I was going to be in front of a computer today - but I have class in a computer-less classroom... damn. I want to rifle through the numbers... I like numbers.

marc said...

I think Batch may retire, but if not, keep him, we have Dixon behind him if he struggles. Leftwich was serviceable, but let him find a starting job or at least compete somewhere. Berger, goodbye.