November 4, 2008

Dude, You'll Never Guess What I Just Saw...

Imagine Tomlin saying it like Johnny Drama...
Byron Leftwich - 129 yards on 10 pass attempts, and a 5 yard passing TD to Sansmokio. I mean, if you had told me yesterday that Byron Leftwich was going to come into last night's game and produce 13 points en route to a 23-6 Steelers victory, I'd have smacked you in the mouth.

The past two games it was Mewelde Moore stepping up big. Last night it was Big Byron. And boy did he step the eff up. Well played, Byron. Well played indeed.

Last week was tough. Just like the Eagles game, our Offense was dogshit but our Defense kept us in the game until the 4th Quarter. It was hard to watch the Defense play so well only to watch the Offense march onto the field for three plays (or less) and then trot back off. But last night made up for it.

So let's recap the "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Sucked Camel Penis." Don't the names of the latter category keep getting better and better? Gosh, what'll I think of next?

Things That Were Awesome
1. 4th play of 3rd Quarter? Leftwich to Nate Washington, 50 YARDS!
2. Deshea INT - Who says this 33 year old can't play? Not Jason Campbell.
3. 7 SACKS! (including 2 by The Wood)
4. What's up with Willie's knee? 70 yds on 21 carries, 1 TD. That's what's up.
5. 1st blocked punt since 1998!

Things That Were Not Awesome
1. Ben's completion percentage? 11. I think that's a QB rating of 6.
2. Mitch Berger's 28 yard punt...somebody call Kordell Stewart.
3. An end around to Nate Washington? This is your creative genius, Arians?
4. Hey, at least Anthony Smith contributed a special teams penalty!
5. Note to Jeff Reed - You can't bank extra points in. This isn't basketball.

Things That Sucked Camel Penis
1. Onside kick on the opening kickoff? Oh, ok, I get it. We want to lose.
2. I think I have pink eye. No joke.
3. Giving the 'Skins GREAT field position on their 1st two possessions.
4. Ben sacked three times in two quarters. Yeah, he's injured by the way.
5. Max Starks using his hands to cover his head instead using them to knock the ball away from Cornelius Griffin. Watch out for that small, lightweight piece of leather, Max! YOU'RE 6'8," 345 POUNDS, DUDE!!!

Now, ok. Let's not get too hot on Lord Byron just yet. He did more than expected and it was great. But we also simplified things a lot more when he came in. And by simplified, I mean we started running the ball. So look, I'll take that performance out of Byron Leftwich every day of the week. But QB controversy? Ish don't think so.

And frankly, it's pretty worrisome that Ben was so hurt that he didn't feel like getting back on the field in the 2nd half. Perhaps some of you think that after last night, Byron Leftwich could lead this team to a Championship. But you would be straight jacket worthy. Ben being injured that bad? Not good.

Oh yeah, and Heath Miller with a giant ice pack on his ankle? I mean, that ain't good, either.

GREAT WIN, THOUGH! Ravens won on Sunday. They're 5-3. Browns are 3-5. Bengals are irrelevant. We're now 6-2 and I think if nothing else, our Defense continued to make it's case for League MVP. Yes. The entire defense. For MVP. That's my vote at this time.

We're now looking at the Colts on Sunday. They're "hot" off a "big" win over "Matt Cassell"...I mean the Patriots. Manning had a pretty big day. And I would know, I've got him in fantasy. But he better savor it now, because he'll be on my bench his back for 60 minutes in T-Minus five days. HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!

I am now eager to hear all of your thoughts. Let's have them.

Here are some other visuals to jog your memory...

Oh, and go do your civic duty and vote! Me? I'm writing in Dick Lebeau.


Christy said...

For certain, there's no QB controversy, but I'm thinking that perhaps Ben could take a few tips from Lefty? Namely, quit holding onto the ball for so long.

Our defense was beyond awesome. Couldn't have asked for a better game from them!!

Alba said...

23-6 (not 23-10). Give the D their due!

Cotter said...


...that's what happens when you post at 1:15 AM.

ljkc said...

I've requested a Dick Lebeau coach's replica polo shirt for the past 3 Christmases now... holla.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

Clark Haggans was a decent player for us, especially during the Super Bowl run in 2005, but Lamarr Woodley brings a whole 'nother level of badassness.

Dick LeBeau should be Secretary of Defense in the next administration.

Anonymous said...

"5. Max Starks using his hands to cover his head instead using them to knock the ball away from Cornelius Griffin. Watch out for that small, lightweight piece of leather, Max! YOU'RE 6'8," 345 POUNDS, DUDE!!! "

very awesome.

Anonymous said...

"5. Max Starks using his hands to cover his head instead using them to knock the ball away from Cornelius Griffin. Watch out for that small, lightweight piece of leather, Max! YOU'RE 6'8," 345 POUNDS, DUDE!!! "

very awesome.

random asshole said...

Everything about that game was freaking fantastic, except the freaking O-line. The LB corps deserves a hell of a lot of credit but the whole defense was amazing.

Extra props to the guy in the audience with the "Projected Winner: Steelers" sign.

There's only one recurring problem: has Arians ever heard of a "Screen Pass?" If our O-line can't stop a blitz, we might want to try them.

Joey Porter’s Pit Bulls said...

As for negatives, to be perfectly "blunt," Santonio had at least three drops. They're becoming chronic.

tecmo said...

jppb is high on weed puns today.

it was a joint effort between santonio and ben

matt said...

As you know, I hate our offense - but if we score 17 pts a game, we can beat anyone.

James Farrior is the man. Fact.

domski43 said...

great game! best road win or overall win under Tomlin's tenure in my opinion.

the defense made a STATEMENT for the whole league on Monday night.

I'm very proud of Leftwich, I've criticized the guy and doubted his usefulness on the steelers because of his long release and immobility with the steelers shitty offensive line, but he showed me that he has the balls to stand in the pocket and make good decisions. keep it up, we might need you for a few weeks byron.

Cotter said...

christy ~ So long as they're not tips on his throwing motion, I'm good!

ljkc ~ Thanks for the tip! Now I know what to get you. Though I'd have to request a Dick Lebeau fathead in return. They can probably do that, right?

jppb ~ I crown you - King of the Sansmokio puns. How about - "the Redskins got smoked last night by Santonio and friends"?

anon ~ Thanks! I was laughing on the inside, crying on the outside as it was happening.

random asshole ~ I believe the answer is - Arians only believes in throwing screens to Najeh Davenport.

tec ~ Excellent pun...+5

matt ~ Good call! That most certainly is a fact worthy of Dwight Schrute's attention! Farrior > Rehdogg?

doms ~ Yep, real big win ON THE ROAD! Though from what I hear, this was basically a home game with the way Steelers fans stormed Fed Ex Field in droves. Big time performance by Leftwich too! I gotta say I was really surprised that he was so effective. I guess it pays to have that starting experience under your belt, huh?

matt said...

Definitely Farrior > Rehdogg