I'm not going to talk about what happened with the Browns last night. I think Derek Anderson's 310 yards, Jamal Lewis' 88 yards and Braylon Edwards' 154 receiving yards say just about all that needs to be said.
But it goes back to something I mentioned yesterday - teams with nothing to lose will always scare me. Teams IN OUR DIVISION with nothing to lose, particularly scare me.
You know what's weird? I've told a few different people over the last 24 hours that I'm not taking the Bengals lightly, and they've almost all laughed at me, scoffing, "come on, it's the Bengals!" You know who these people are? They're Eagles fans. Seriously, I had at least two separate Eagles fans tell me that the Steelers might as well count on a win, Sunday.
What? I mean, seriously, what? Did they not watch the Cowboys and Redskins games this past weekend? Maybe they'll change their tune this morning after what the Browns did to the final 25% of that supposed "powerhouse" division last night. This should be a lesson to you Eagles fans, should it not? Don't take any team for granted? Any given Sunday? That's what she said?
Ok, so maybe I'm going a little overboard on purpose.
The truth is - Carson Palmer's out. The Bungles can't play Defense to save their lives. Marvin Lewis and Chris Henry are on their feline-esque ninth lives with the franchise. Chris Perry...is he even playing anymore? They're in bad shape. Yeah, they've had some close ones with some good teams. But those all came when Palmer was starting. The Ryan Fitzpatrick legacy? An 0-2 record, 154 passing yards per game average, 3 interceptions, a passer rating of 56 and a partridge in a pear tree. CHAMPIONSHIP!
So allow me to rip on the Bangles for a minute, just to get it out of my system. I'm going with Nine different potential digs, here. Nine for Carson Palmer.
No guac, let's rock...
Number One - Good call on cutting Rudi Johnson, idiots. How's that working out for you? He may not be a pro bowler anymore. But I'll bet he'd average more than 42 yards a game.
Number Two - Remember the time you traded Corey Dillon for a 2nd round draft pick (Madieu Williams) and he blew up with New England for a 1,600 yard, 12 TD season, the best of his career, at the age of 30? That was pretty ingenious as well. Hey Mike Brown, when you're done ruining the Bungholes franchise, you think you can take a crack at solving our current financial crisis? Sweet, thanks.
Number Three - Cris Collinsworth. I take some solace in the fact that you have to live with this abomination on your conscience, for-EV-ER.
Number Four - What was so bad about the Icky Shuffle? I thought that shit was pretty cool. What's that all about?
Number Five - You know what? You're right. Dick LeBeau's to blame for 2000-2002. Too bad you had to let him go, freeing him up to eventually rejoin your divisional rival, our Steelers, where he resumed his role as Godfather of the Pittsburgh blitz (179 sacks recorded from '04-Present). Man, what an awful Coach. He makes Marvin Lewis look like Vince Lombardi!
Number Six - The people demand an apology for ruining Kijana Carter's career.
Number Seven - What is with Ohio and Orange in uniforms? Aren't they aware that it makes you look like a pumpkin? Seriously, go look at something Orange and tell me you don't see either a pumpkin or a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in it. I dare you. And I'm not talking about chicks-tanning-Orange. I'm talking Radioactive Yellow and Radioactive Red make blindingly Orange, Orange.
Number Eight - Tell the BenGALs to call me. Hey, baby...
Number Nine - That Chili. Come on, man. Cinnamon? Really? Cinnamon? You're a disgrace. Just watch how many times I rip on Cincinnati Chili during this week's [Unnamed] Steelers Show. I'll bet it'll be more times than I curse. And that's a LOT.
Ugh, all this hating is tiring me out. I'm gonna go steal a cat-nap real quick. Talk amongst yourselves. Here, I'll give you a topic - Longest. Post. Ever.