October 1, 2008

The Things I Do For The Steelers...

Well, I was going to do a full recap post yesterday in typical narrative format, complete with kudos and scoldings. But listen, our economy is in the crapper, I'm not particularly enamored with either Presidential Candidate, and my dog will NOT stop shedding. So excuuuuuuussssseeeeeee me if I didn't give you more substance this week. Honestly, I think it may have worked out better that way. I don't know about you all, but I like to hear your thoughts more so than I like to jot down my own. And we got some good discussion. Frankly, I consider the half-assed post experiment a rousing success.

Nevertheless, I'll be talking about the game again today. Albeit from a different angle. See, my evening was chock full on Monday. I didn't have class, for once. But I did have perhaps the most intense technological evening of my life. I'm pretty sure at no point did my phone/laptop go more than two to three minutes without beeping at me. Indeed, I think Monday Night sent me into a semi-permanent technology shock. But while it may have been a little more than I could handle at the time, I'm thinking it might make for a humorous post here today.

So without further ado, here's a look at selected points in my Monday evening...

6:00 - Wonder what the hell I'm still doing at work
6:01 - Promptly flee office as if I were Joe Flacco in Silverback's sights
6:45 - Arrive home, fire up laptop, copy down ingredients for Friday Football Foodie
7:30 - Hit A&P, call Domski to discuss keys to victory, no answer...
8:08 - Find out why Domski missed call (hit play)...

8:10 - Arrive home anew, fire up oven, mix ingredients for Friday Football Foodie
8:11 - Remember I have no idea how to cook
8:28 - Yell at Ditka [on TV] for being an asshole (read: picking the Ravens)
8:32 - Tobiathan makes obligatory "Welcome Back" joke
8:32 - Response = "Nice work, jagoff. Never heard that before. Very novel"
8:38 - Tobiathan uses term "grammatical correctivity" - ignore obvious error

9:01 - 2nd False Start penalty on one drive - comment on liveblog - "Wow that's gotta stop"
9:01 - Jeff Reed hits 49 yarder...text Tecmo - "Jeff Reed!"
9:08 - Flacco sacked by Silverback (loss of 5 & dignity) - start dancing around living room
9:12 - Ben spoils all the fun, throwing untimely INT to D lineman
9:13 - Comment on liveblog - "who looks like the rookie, now?"
9:36 - Domski texts first reference to going No Huddle
9:37 - Highlight that Mitch Berger is pushing 50 (exaggerating)
9:38 - Text from Domski - "Supermax protection still doesn't work. Sad"
9:39 - Resist urge to make unsavory sexist joke
9:39 - Text from Domski - "This is a team effort to suck"
9:40 - Reply to Domski - "We better get our shit together, quick"
9:49 - Ike Taylor gets stiffarmed by Willis McGahee
9:49 - Comment on liveblog - "Ike Taylor looking like a bitch"
9:51 - Text from Domski - "Defense getting pushed off ball"
9:52 - Reply to Domski - "What u mean to say is being pussies"
9:53 - Domski texts second reference to going No Huddle
9:54 - Text from Domski - "Embarrassing"
9:56 - Reply [jokingly] to Domski - "Put Leftwich in"

10:15 - HALFTIME...turn my Pizza Dip up!
10:16 - Comment on liveblog - "That's it, I'm changing the channel."
10:16 - Comment on liveblog - "Where do you suppose they're showing re-runs of Golden Girls?"
10:18 - Email Steelers Thunderdome league - "Who's bringing the Valium, again?"
10:19 - Eat half of two year old Smiley cookie for good luck
10:20 - Throw up a little in mouth - cookie tastes like laundry detergent
10:34 - Text from Tecmo - "When do we fire Arians? I don't understand his offense one bit"
10:48 - Comment on liveblog - "I'm going to Pittsburgh and I'm going to personally dropkick Bruce Arians...in the face...on a cold day...with Doc Martens on...and I'm going to gain 40 lbs before I do it just so it'll hurt more"

11:00 - Santonio SCORES!
11:00 - Comment on liveblog - "Oh my god! You should see me right now. I'm cavorting around this place like a little girl"
11:00 - Text from Domski - "No huddle works. Hire Domski"
11:03 - Woodley returns fumble for SCORE!
11:10 - Text from Domski - "Cant stop drinkin" (This is a blatant lie)
11:11 - Text from Domski - "Ben might be somewhat retarded"
11:35 - Comment on liveblog - "Alright, let's get one thing straight. Ray Lewis does not equal Michael Strahan"
11:36 - Text from Domski - "Sean Alexander"
11:36 - Ignore spelling mistake
11:44 - Eat another two bites of two-year-old Smiley cookie...dry heave a little
11:52 - Drive stalls, Comment on liveblog - "four letter word beginning with F"

12:03 - Game in OT - Email to Thunderdome league from TSW - "Got any of that Valium left?"
12:04 - Reply to TSW et al - "I've moved on to Prozac, mainlining now."
12:16 - Jeff Reed hits game winner
12:17 - YES! YES! YEEEESSSSSSSSS!!! I LOVE YOU, JEFF REED! I'm not gay but I'd love to shake your hand
12:18 - Tobiathan offers to kiss Reed on mouth...
12:18 - "All heterosexual here"
12:31 - Final thoughts on liveblog - "Balls. Nuts. Bart Scott sucks"
12:50 - Publish half-assed "recap" post
1:07 - Email to Thunderdome league from Pat (WHYGAVS) - "Pardon my French, but how the [redacted] do you break your shoulder?"
1:09 - Reply to Pat et al - "What really happened = Ray Lewis shanked him at the bottom of the pile"
1:15 - Hit pillow and dream about a time when 75% of our players were not injured

Whew...wow, that was a lot of electronic communication, dudes/dudettes. I'm tired just thinking about it. In fact, I think I hear my bed calling my name. Hope you enjoyed this little what have you. I promise, these posts get better as the week goes on...

Any interesting conversations on your end(s)?


Noah said...

That's a lot of technological encounters. I'm never that popular.....

If it hasn't been confirmed in the first 3 weeks it's confirmed now. Our defense will keep us in games and sometimes even win it for us. I hope Arians doesn't suck like this next week, although that's as probable as (insert crazy situation here).

Why's everybody dying? (getting hurt) On the bright side however, Mewelde Moore didn't look that bad, so it might not be so bad after all..... but that doesn't mean FWP doesn't need roids or something to heal that leg. You're killin us!

On a complete side note. I tried to comment on the liveblog thingy and my posts wouldn't show up. I was thoroughly enflamed with anger.....

Christy said...

Oh honey, I feel your pain with that 2 year old smiley cookie. You know you shouldn't eat it, but you do anyways because it's so pretty....I mean, how can something so pretty taste like chalk? And then you can't help but take another bite later, thinking that somehow, maybe the center of the cookie isn't as stale as the edges were....only to find out the joke's on you.

There is an Eat n Park right down the road from where I live. I think Cotter needs a fresh cookie.

random asshole said...

I feel your pain with that two year old cookie as well. No one should ever be subjected to eating anything from Eat N Park.

tecmo said...

I can vouch for the "Tecmo texts" and "Thunderdome emails." The man is not lying.

domski43 said...

along w/ tecmo everything cotter is saying here is true.

/embarassed for using the f-bomb so much during that phone call and listening to it in an elementary school

Cotter said...

noah ~ Neither am I...it just seemed like everyone chose Monday night to bombard me (and I likewise to them). Still, it was nice to be able to share my thoughts with friends during the game, even while I was alone in my living room.

christy ~ Seriously, if you're going to Eat n' Park, I'd love a French Toast Smile...and you know, if you wouldn't mind also raiding the salad bar. It'll be like the care packages everyone else in my Freshman dorm but me got back in college...

random asshole ~ Clearly you've never had a French Toast Smile.

tec ~ Good thing I didn't tell them about that proposition you made me in the 4th quarter...I mean...Brady Quinn?

domski ~ Embarrassed? I thought those were the best parts? "I thought they were the fuckin' patriots? What the fuck happened?" Pretty solid analysis as well.