New Season, New Rules...

Mike Tomlin held a press conference yesterday. Talks with Rashard Mendenhall and Limas Sweed are allegedly progressing well. Cool.

But that's not the big news. Oh no, the BIG news is that he didn't say "the reality of it," once.

Indeed, according to the "transcribed" press conference over at SteelCityInsider, not once did Big Mike utter the sweet nothing - "the reality of it." But, you know, it's a new year. Out with the old, in with the new...press conference diction. Apparently.

2007 was "the reality of." 2008 is "really." Which, uh, for now, is, uh, equally...funny? Let's just assume it is, because Tomlin managed to toss it out seven times in just a few minutes.

Now that's not terrible. One time I heard Domski use the word "shiteater" seven times in one SENTENCE. But the word "really," seven times, is I'd say, par for the course.

Ok, I can't keep this up any longer. You get the joke, right?

Anyways, Tomlin DID hold a press conference yesterday. He said (mainly) that Mendenhall and Sweed would be signed by Sunday, the Rooney Tunes saga could be a bit of a distraction during camp, and the most hotly contested battle in camp will be Hartwig vs. Mahan. Glad he cleared that last one up, because I thought it would be Max Starks vs. His Self-Esteem.

So since this was a pretty ho-hum press conference, I dreamed up a few things I would have laughed at if I had heard them. In no particular order, they are...

Q: Coach, have you been to a Pirates game recently?
A: The reality of it is that I don't watch soccer. And even if I did, that wouldn't change what we do in terms of preparing ourselves and getting ready for the upcoming season.

Q: Coach, what do you think about that guy who writes OFTOT?
A: The reality of it is that terrorism is everywhere. I mean there's probably terrorism somewhere in Oakland right now. But it doesn't change what we do in terms of our preparation and how we get ourselves ready for the season.

Q: Coach, what do you think about Browns fans chanting "Sup-er Bowl!"
A: The reality of it is that the season is 16 games, played September through January. They can chant "Tim Couch for President!" It doesn't change what we do in terms of how we come together and train for the 17 week season.

Q: Coach, who's going to be the 1st Steeler to do "Dancing with The Stars?"
A: Sean "Happy Feet" Mahan. Next question.

Q: Coach, what would change the way you prepare for the upcoming season?
A: The reality of it is that I don't think answering this question will change how we get ready for Week 1 or how we train between now and the beginning of September.

Anything you guys would've laughed at if you heard??? Do share.

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Mike Tomlin Press Conference [SteelCityInsider]
Tomlin Says Ownership Situation a Potential Distraction [Post-Gazette]
Tomlin says Sweed, Mendenhall talks going well [Trib]
Tomlin Holds Pre-Training Camp News Conference [KDKA]
Tomlin Says Mendenhall, Sweed Talks Going Well [WTAE]