AFC North Headline Of The Day...

I couldn't have written anything better myself.

Too bad it wasn't anything like this pillow fight.

Hey, bab..ies...

Anyways, I think this about says it all...

Yep, a combined 7-22-1. Yikes! I'd definitely file that under "Sorry State of Affairs."

To be fair, though, the number of losses might actually be outweighed by the number of players the two teams have collectively placed on IR this season.

That said, nothing satisfies me more than watching Cleveland struggle so mightily, Giants game notwithstanding, after they were the AFC North media darlings last offseason and the flavor of the year to win the division. Obviously the media is unaware that it was the Browns. Three things in this life are certain - death, taxes, and the Cleveland Browns sucking.

Also, to all the Browns fans who cried about Derek Anderson only making the Pro Bowl as an alternate last year - what say you now?

At this point, we can only hope that Brady Quinn's finger (or was it thumb?) heals in the offseason. Because I can't wait to watch the Steelers pass rush engulf him like Romeo Crennel engulfs a cheeseburger...


But hey, either way, at least Browns fans are still classy as ever...


Ohio may be in a state of disrepair, but these links are in as great a shape as ever. Read 'em up...

This week's MMCNY [PSaMP]

Sean's thoughts on the game [Sean's Ramblings]

Matt's thoughts on the game [Superhero.]

Last Thursday was a sad day. Doubt About It has decided to exit the blogscene. I imagine these guys won't be able to stay away too long. So mourn the loss and look forward to any and everything they do in the future. Either way, some great departing words that everyone should read [Doubt About It]

And on the flipside, a new blog is born! Tiny's started things off with Fruitcake. Check her out and leave some love! [Cheese People]

Who's gay and who's not in Christmas specials... [Carbolic Smoke Ball]

And Sometimes, Enough is Enough...

I probably shouldn't even pay any mind to this, but I just can't help but think this ought to be the last straw for Bengals WR Chris Henry.

For those of you who don't follow the trials and tribulations of our AFC North rivals quite as closely as I do (sadly) - Henry has a warrant out for his arrest on charges that he assaulted an 18 year old this past Monday - and by assaulted, they mean punching the dude in the face and breaking the window of the his car with a beer bottle. By the way, Chris Henry is 24 (going on 25 in May), and I think this marks about the 15th time he's run afoul of the law during his brief three year tenure in the NFL (which of course includes his half season suspension last year).

Now, by no means am I a paragon of discretion and good decision making, but dude, I mean, we're talking about messing with millions of dollars here. Every time Chris Henry gets in trouble, he's one step closer to the prospect of losing his well paying position as #3 in the Bengals passing game and ending up pumping gas in Kentucky. Come on man, you've been warned and yet you continue to go out and do dumb shit? Get the hell out of here. Kick him out of the league. I'll take his spot. Championship!

Any thoughts? Anyone out there this week?

[UPDATE: After this latest indiscretion, the Bengals have finally had enough of Chris Henry. He's consequently been cut. But don't worry, he'll probably sign in Dallas within the next two weeks. That or Oakland.]

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Bengals Henry Charged with Assault [Associated Press]

It Must Be Wednesday, Chris Henry's Run Afoul Of The Law...

"Don't you know who I am?"
- Chris Henry

Ok, so at least this time he didn't get arrested. But on the "eve" of what marked the end of his suspension from the NFL, Chris Henry got into a little spat with a parking attendant over a parking fee...As in he refused to pay for parking...

Seriously dude, you just got back from a half-season suspension and the battle you pick is with a parking attendant? I mean, not like we all didn't know it was going to happen. But you'd at least think he'd get caught making it rain like Pacman Jones or shitting in a woman's closet like Najeh Davenport. Nope. Parking fee. Makes you wonder if Henry was born with only half a brain.

Anyways, what I thought might have made this even better was his reaction after the parking attendant pointed out that um, he kind of didn't pay... - namely Henry scolded him, "Don't you know who I am?" whilst throwing a $5 bill on the ground...which they promptly returned to him, and called the cops...who would have definitely known who he was, thank god.

I can just hear the conversation now -

Attendant: "Yeah we've got a dude down here who is refusing to pay $5 for parking...says his name is Chris Henry."

Police Dispatch: "Chris Henry, shit. Cletus, get the holding cell ready, Henry's on the loose again."

And you think Chad Johnson is the problem in Cincy??? Get a clue.

Henry In Altercation With Attendant [SI.com]

Let This Speak For Itself...

Honestly Cincinnati, what the F...Yes that is an elephant crushing a pumpkin with Big Ben's picture affixed to it with scotch friggin' tape...fine line between getting a fanbase fired up and obsession, no?

Chris Henry Branches Out to Assaulting Minors...

He's not just getting them drunk anymore, Chris Henry is now handing out beat downs to underage teens.

The latest in Henry's long string of troubles with the law is an accusation that he, teammate Reggie McNeill, an (inconspicuously) unidentified white dude and others slapped around a 16 year old male on the side of an Ohio roadway as he was walking with an 18 year old friend. Apparently the 18 year old got away injury-free somehow...anyways, not important.

The report filed states that the teen alleges the white guy randomly jumped out of a vehicle all assailants were travelling in and began punching him in the face. Then, Henry and others joined the white male and "shoved" the teen "to the ground," also throwing beer bottles at him while he tried to flee.

Now I'm no expert, but maybe Chris Henry just needs something to do. Perhaps someone should enroll him in a bowling league, or teach him how to hunt (chances are he'll like wielding a gun anyway), whatever. Just give this man a hobby so he can keep himself out of trouble.

Then again, I would probably miss dumping on him for being an idiot. So on second thought, forget it. Let him self destruct. It's way more entertaining...

See the video report [9 News Cincy]

Don't Look Now, But...

Chris Henry very well could be back in jail sooner than we all thought (ok, who had May 21 in the pool?).

While I pause for a moment from laughing hysterically, allow me to relate the latest in the saga of Chris Henry and the law. According to early reports, Henry failed a court-ordered drug test, revealing the presence of opiates in his system. An offense that carries a sentence of up to 88 days in jail.

Now, at the risk of getting too serious in this discussion, which by nature really should be out of bounds (good thing it's MY blog...I make the rules), this would probably be Henry's last stand. I can't imagine Commissioner Goodell would let Henry continue to be a black spot on the league's character...and if he did, it probably wouldn't be without at least a year, possibly two year's suspension. But, are there conflicting reports? And, please, tell me, what does Henry's agent have to say (like I really need to know...agents are always the most honest individuals, right?)?

Still...another day, another Bengal potentially arrested.

At what point do you look at your team and just clean house? Better yet, why don't we just disband the Bengals...even before they were a black spot on the league's character, they were just a black spot on the league in general...I mean they fielded Chris Collinsworth for christ's sake. I think even Browns fans would agree...

Although, on a brighter note for Cincinnati, the woman who first accused linebacker AJ Nicholson of fourth degree assault is now claiming she hit HERSELF with HER OWN cell phone...thus negating her earlier claims and potentially revoking blame from Nicholson.