The Internets Are Full of Goodies...

See, that headline is good because it's true. I mean, where else can you find such "must have items" as a Steelers-Browns checkers set? Or a Steelers propane tank cover? Or a Snoop Dogg t-shirt with a Steelers logo on it? (Ok, I'd venture to say you can probably find that last one at Tobiathan's place).

Too bad that ain't the topic of today's post.

As for that - I don't know about you guys. But I don't really see the point in trying to speculate who will be the last to get the axe before camp. I mean we all know it's probably going to be Big Ben anyway. So why even bother?

How about, instead, we review what scant Steelers news has hit the presses over the past couple of days. It might be as fun as trying to stop Silverback from getting his son baptized. But I'm willing to take that chance.

Let's begin...

#1 ~ RIP Steelers Statute of Liberty Play...
You were gone before we even got to know you. Or something like that. So I guess we have our answer on 3rd string QB. Now, who's going to be 3rd string in charge of scrubbing Larry Zierling's hard drive?

Sidenote - I find it pretty hillarious that the headline on PXI's site announcing Zabransky's departure goes out of it's way to acknowledge that the player signed in his place is from England. England...that's near Montreal, right?


#2 ~ Hines Ward Is Smrt [Sic]...
If you haven't seen this one, apparently a majority of NFL coaches voted Hines "the brainiest player in the NFL." Of course, KDKA.com is quick to point out that this didn't include QBs. What do you suppose they're trying to say there? Also, Dan Rooney was named "best owner." But this is really an afterthought, because I'm sure you don't need a survey to tell you that.

#3 ~ You Go [Naked Wrestling] Girls...
This has nothing to do with football. Or the Steelers. Or dinosaurs. But it has everything to do with hot naked women wrestling each other. And that, my friends, gets the ol' Cotter seal of approval. Good for you, brave naked chicks who like to wrestle. Anytime you wanna have a match in the greater New York City area, I'd be happy to host. You know how to play Rock Band, right?

PS - I support your war of terror. Viva la revolución!!


#4 ~ Hyundai Spotting!
Is that Domski in there singing to N'Sync? The internets are watching...


And that is all I got, folks. I sincerely apologize for the brain cells lost while reading this post. I promise I'll make it up to you next season. In posts about dinosaurs, that is...

The Rules of Sports Blogging - #321...

When you pigeon hole yourself into being a one team blog and there ain't anything particularly interesting to say about such team, post pictures of hot chicks and readers will come (not literally, assholes).

Let's face it, it's tough being a Steelers fan in the offseason. So far the biggest story besides Spygate fallout, and the Big Ben-Hines Ward catfight, has been the Steelers decision to keep real grass at Heinz Field. I mean, if that doesn't rivet you, I don't know what the F does. Me personally, I'm still talking about it...err..yeeaaahhh...

Anyways, I figure that like me, you all are probably thirsting for more. Well worry not. For I will now endeavor to keep you entertained with what else but...chicks.

That's right, below are my Top 10 hottest female celebrity figures (at least right now). Feel free to rate my assessment, add your opinion, or inform me as to any hotter chicks there might be out there that I missed (over 18 please)...

#10 - Erin Andrews

You knew she'd be on here somewhere. But why do I get the feeling you'll all disagree with me for putting her at 10? Well, I could certainly make a case to put her higher, but I think she's overhyped. She's definitely hot, no doubt. But just because she is on ESPN doesn't make her any hotter...strike that, DEFINITELY doesn't make her any hotter. Still, Erin, if you read this and are into dudes who spend their free time blogging - call me. A man can dream, can't he?

#9 - Christina Aguilera

Bet you were wondering if I was going to include any Burghers on this list. Lest we not show a little PA love, Xtina comes in at #9. Some of you might be put off by her past sluttiness. But let that not deter you. She has really calmed herself down, got married, had a kid, which usually doesn't make a chick hotter. But I'm pretty sure she looks better now than she ever did during the Genie In A Bottle days. Plus, you gotta respect anyone who can spell their name using an X.

#8 - Rachel McAdams

I still can't believe this chick is 29. Not that it matters. She's smoking hot nonetheless. Too bad she's Canadian...although I hear that like their beer, Canadian women will mess you up (in a good way). Not really though, I made that up...

#7 - Marissa Miller

Also 29, weird...I feel obligated to include this chick, by virtue of the fact that she looks amazing in the latest SI Swimsuit issue (which is a total waste of print at this point...thank you internet porn). After checking out her spreads (which I still highly recommend), all I have to say is WOW...hey mami...PS - she says if she wasn't a super model she'd be a sports caster...hot...

#6 - Rachel Hunter

By far the oldest on the list, but definitely one of the hottest. I still remember her from that Budweiser commercial during one of the early 90s Super Bowls (least I think it was Bud). Thus began a lifelong crush. I don't care if she is 38, I'd gladly let her show me a good time. Hands down the best thing to ever come out of New Zealand...

#5 - Elisha Cuthbert

Go watch The Girl Next Door and tell me you wouldn't rank her #5 or higher. Seriously. Go watch it.

#4 - Kate Beckinsale

I can't tell you more than one movie she's been in, but frankly, I'm not interested in her films. Apparently she's also an Oxford drop out, which must mean she's pretty smart. I can dig that. Hey baby, let's see that intellect...

#3 - Amy Smart

To this day, Amy Smart is the only reason I'll ever watch the movies Road Trip and Just Friends. She's a solid 8-10, ain't much more to say.

#2 - Elizabeth Banks

You've gotta respect the fact that she played the Giants fan in Invincible. Plus, she was ridiculously hot as the slut in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Put it this way - unlike Steve Carrell's character, there's no way I'd leave this chick alone, naked, in a bath tub...ever.

#1 - Kristen Bell

She will be mine...oh yes, she will be mine...

Now, are you not entertained?

Hot News This Offseason - Lists Run Rampant...

Sports Illustrated, CBS Sportsline and ESPN must be collaborating to create an uproar in the blogosphere this offseason. It's the only explanation I can offer for these lists that keep popping up. And just to keep you abreast of the situation - the latest load of crap to hit the internet tubes is Michael Silver's list ranking the top owners in the league.

Silver begins his list where any sportswriter would logically begin, given the last 6 years of disgusting success - Robert Kraft, owner of the "untouchable" Patriot dynasty. I gotta give it up for Kraft not only for the post-season success but also his 2007 personnel land-grab - snatching up Randy Moss (for a 4th rounder no less!), Adalius Thomas, Wes Welker, Donte Stallworth, and Kyle Brady. Given this, it's hard not to be a Patriot fan...or something like that...no but seriously, I think we can all say that on paper this bodes pretty well for the team that has won 3 Super Bowls in the last 6 years and gone deep in the playoffs otherwise.

But wait, where does Dan Rooney rank? The answer = A solid #9. The good news he is definitely ahead of William Clay Ford (Lions), Bill Bidwill (Cardinals), Mike Brown (Bengals) and Randy Lerner (Browns). The bad news is the Steelers "frugal spending" is Silver's primary reason for ranking him at 9 and not higher up. I could see where this might come into play, but in my opinion, that's just part of his job. Let's face it, as much as we all love the Steelers, they're not a big market, big spending team (like Daniel Snyders Redskins...#5 owner by the way...yes the guy responsible for Steve Spurrier, Lavar Arrington, Adam Archuleta, and Danny Wuerffel). But what they do well is use their money wisely. Sure, we'd all love to see Alan Faneca and Joey Porter play out their days as Steelers, but if you look at the guys we had/have to sign in the near future, one can understand the need to cut loose some guys who would demand large salaries and are [arguably] past their primes.

As for Silver's other negative reasoning - Larry Zierling and the porn email extravaganza - I think letting Zierling keep his job was fine. Everyone is entitled to his/her mistakes from time to time. Yes, this was quite a mistake and pretty embarrassing for the Steelers, but the good news is he's not getting paid to send emails. So while this is unfortunate, I don't think I would've fired the guy either.

That all said, I can't necessarily justify ranking Rooney much higher than 6 or 7. Still in the top 10, but I do think there have been and will continue to be some things that Rooney will never do and that holds him back (money is definitely a factor). On the flipside, I don't think these two guys deserve to be rated as highly as they were -

#5 - Daniel Snyder, Redskins
#7 - Bob McNair, Texans

Plus, I think Alex Spano of the Chargers got a bit of a raw deal at #24...but that may be just me.

Anybody else want to weigh in?