February 18, 2008

The Rules of Sports Blogging - #321...

When you pigeon hole yourself into being a one team blog and there ain't anything particularly interesting to say about such team, post pictures of hot chicks and readers will come (not literally, assholes).
Let's face it, it's tough being a Steelers fan in the offseason. So far the biggest story besides Spygate fallout, and the Big Ben-Hines Ward catfight, has been the Steelers decision to keep real grass at Heinz Field. I mean, if that doesn't rivet you, I don't know what the F does. Me personally, I'm still talking about it...err..yeeaaahhh...

Anyways, I figure that like me, you all are probably thirsting for more. Well worry not. For I will now endeavor to keep you entertained with what else but...chicks.

That's right, below are my Top 10 hottest female celebrity figures (at least right now). Feel free to rate my assessment, add your opinion, or inform me as to any hotter chicks there might be out there that I missed (over 18 please)...

#10 - Erin Andrews

You knew she'd be on here somewhere. But why do I get the feeling you'll all disagree with me for putting her at 10? Well, I could certainly make a case to put her higher, but I think she's overhyped. She's definitely hot, no doubt. But just because she is on ESPN doesn't make her any hotter...strike that, DEFINITELY doesn't make her any hotter. Still, Erin, if you read this and are into dudes who spend their free time blogging - call me. A man can dream, can't he?

#9 - Christina Aguilera

Bet you were wondering if I was going to include any Burghers on this list. Lest we not show a little PA love, Xtina comes in at #9. Some of you might be put off by her past sluttiness. But let that not deter you. She has really calmed herself down, got married, had a kid, which usually doesn't make a chick hotter. But I'm pretty sure she looks better now than she ever did during the Genie In A Bottle days. Plus, you gotta respect anyone who can spell their name using an X.

#8 - Rachel McAdams

I still can't believe this chick is 29. Not that it matters. She's smoking hot nonetheless. Too bad she's Canadian...although I hear that like their beer, Canadian women will mess you up (in a good way). Not really though, I made that up...

#7 - Marissa Miller

Also 29, weird...I feel obligated to include this chick, by virtue of the fact that she looks amazing in the latest SI Swimsuit issue (which is a total waste of print at this point...thank you internet porn). After checking out her spreads (which I still highly recommend), all I have to say is WOW...hey mami...PS - she says if she wasn't a super model she'd be a sports caster...hot...

#6 - Rachel Hunter

By far the oldest on the list, but definitely one of the hottest. I still remember her from that Budweiser commercial during one of the early 90s Super Bowls (least I think it was Bud). Thus began a lifelong crush. I don't care if she is 38, I'd gladly let her show me a good time. Hands down the best thing to ever come out of New Zealand...

#5 - Elisha Cuthbert

Go watch The Girl Next Door and tell me you wouldn't rank her #5 or higher. Seriously. Go watch it.

#4 - Kate Beckinsale

I can't tell you more than one movie she's been in, but frankly, I'm not interested in her films. Apparently she's also an Oxford drop out, which must mean she's pretty smart. I can dig that. Hey baby, let's see that intellect...

#3 - Amy Smart

To this day, Amy Smart is the only reason I'll ever watch the movies Road Trip and Just Friends. She's a solid 8-10, ain't much more to say.

#2 - Elizabeth Banks

You've gotta respect the fact that she played the Giants fan in Invincible. Plus, she was ridiculously hot as the slut in The 40 Year Old Virgin. Put it this way - unlike Steve Carrell's character, there's no way I'd leave this chick alone, naked, in a bath tub...ever.

#1 - Kristen Bell

She will be mine...oh yes, she will be mine...

Now, are you not entertained?

Ballhype: hype it up!

9 comments:

tecmo said...

Mmmmmm...chicks.

I've definitely violated rule #320 several times.

The Chief said...

Amy Smart. She's one of those chicks that sometimes looks pretty hot and other times she looks like hell.

Kristen Bell? SHE WILL BE THE CHIEF'S FIRST!!! DAMN HOT!!!

Cotter said...

tec ~ Good thing I didn't include Rule #323 - Malibu Bay Breezes are not your friends. Then you'd be a double offender.

chief ~ Actually, I agree on Amy Smart. But really, I could have substituted any number of other chicks for any of the chicks on this list. Just too many hot girls out there to choose from...What's a blogger to do?

Big Snack said...

Make it a top 20 list, jerky...hahaha

Anyway Cotter,I linked this up from my site (I know big f-ing deal)...

And you need the girl from Joe Dirt in it too, I think her name is Brittany Daniels...And I mean Kate Hudson, Shakira, any of the Girls Next Door, Halle Berry, J-Lo, Jenna Jameson, and whoever this big boobed girl I'm currently watching on CNN could be on the list...

I do like lookin at thse hotties tho, good work brotha...

Cotter said...

Shit. Top 20...why didn't I think of that?

Brittany Daniels = yes.
Kate Hudson = yes.
Shakira = dubious.
Girls Next Door = my future wives. Halle Berry = eh, she's ok.
J-Lo = very 2002.
Jenna Jameson = timeless.

Maybe we should pool efforts and do a top 100...?

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

Dude, you can sandwich me in there between #4 and 5!!! As a suggestion: The Sacramento Kings cheerleaders.

Big Snack said...

hahaha we could get me, you and Tec and each of us do 33...I think itd be timeless...

I'll talk to Diego, send me an email like 2 weeks b4 u want it done and we'll figure it out...God knows I love looking at bitches all day

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

Erin Andrews reminds me of a mix between Jamie Lynn, and big sis Britney.

The Chief said...

I'll work with you guys on a Top 100! I recently did a post on her and I have to state again: For her age, Diane Lane is SMOKIN!!!