Ah yes, some light news for you today...
In case you haven't heard, the Steelers signed James Harrison, the man who you and I affectionately call, "Silverback," to a new six year, $51.75 million contract yesterday.
Justice served for a man who didn't even become an everyday starter until the age of 29, and yet two years later found himself a two-time Super Bowl champ, Defensive player of the year, and the current record holder for longest play in Super Bowl history.
And to think, the Ravens only gave that assbag Ray Lewis seven years at $44.5 mil.
Must cost an awful lot to have male cheerleaders, I guess...
Anyways, remember the time someone tried to get everyone to pitch in like $1 to pay for Silverback's new deal?
Well, 52 million is an assload (editor's note: I rounded up, in case that wasn't obvious). Maybe we better have a bake sale and a car wash too. Just a suggestion.
By the way, this bush league photoshop you see above is all I can offer you to go along with this post. If that's not okay with you, well, you know where the door is.
Rumor has it that when asked how he planned on spending his new found wealth, Silverback muttered something about buying several hundred buffalo and hunting them down one-by-one with his bare hands as part of his off season workout routine.
No idea what that even means. Or why I said it, for that matter.
Which brings me to the serious portion of today's post...
I joke a lot about drinking, beer bongs, and generally engaging in stupid and irresponsible behavior for someone in his late 20s. Because, let's face it, that's what I'm good at. But the fact is, for the next month or so, I'm staring down some serious shit with school.
So you'll have to forgive me in advance if I don't get to post something every day. Or even every other day, frankly.
I'll do what I can, but as much as it pains me to say, OFTOT is taking a back seat to law school.
On a separate, yet related note, if anyone sees my soul, please let it know that I miss it.
Thank you and enjoy your respective Tuesdays, my children.
PS - This post would've been a lot better, but I spent almost all night on a contract due Friday and once that was over with, I was too busy eating buffalo chicken flavored pretzels to really make it shine...oops, my bad.
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