AFC North Headline Of The Day...

I don't have a whole lot to say this morning. I was up until 2 AM putting together that ridiculous post about the Oscars, random thumbs up pictures and AQ Shipley. Then, I spent a good two hours this morning gathering all of the links you see below. Which frankly, means that my productivity has been approximately the same as Limas Sweed's. And that may be fine in week six of my spring semester, but unfortch, that doesn't really fly come weeks seven or eight. So I've gotta go do some things today that I should've done weeks ago.

But first, this headline above.

Yeah, I mean, what do you want me to say? Of course he feels empty. That tends to happen when you lose a Super Bowl. Hell, look at Mike Holmgren. He still isn't over XL. Actually, he probably wouldn't be over XXXII, but for the fact that Brett Favre won him a ring the year before (That'd be Super Bowl XXXI, for you math majors). So don't expect that feeling to subside until you've actually won a Super Bowl, which, because you're the coach of the Arizona Cardinals may be a while. Then again, who knows? The Eagles have been to 8,000 NFC Championships in the past 10 years and yet have only appeared in one Super Bowl. IE - stranger things have happened.

You know what I hear helps soften the blow, though? Ice cream. I've had a few long term girlfriends in my life. Without fail, every one of them has used ice cream to ease the pain of stressful events in their respective lives. Me? I'm lactose intolerant. So I haven't gotten down with some frozen milk since my Freshman year at PSU, in which I almost single-handedly exhausted the Creamery's supply of Cookies n' Cream on milkshakes. Come to think of it, I was never lactose intolerant until after that year. Hmmm...weird.

And yes, I was calling The Whis a vag, there.

Right, like I said, not a lot to add today.

Luckily, these links are full of substantial value. I suggest reading them...

Vote for me [Sean's Ramblings]

The first substantive post on the new PSaMP = "The Penguins Suck and the Capitals Rule." Tec lost a bet. No, that's not a joke. He literally lost a bet [PSaMP]

All signs point to us having seen the last of Nate Washington in a Steelers uniform. Which is a shame, but I'm sure he'll be very happy as a handsomely paid Washington Redskin [Trib]

And apparently the chances of re-signing Bryant McFadden's goatee are not looking good either. Good news is, this would also not be the end of the world [Post-Gazette]

The Steelers are awesome. Yeah, we know [Sporting News]

Reading this will provide hours of entertainment [CBS Sportsline]

Max Starks thinking long term [Trib]

Jeff Saturday is out there. Just sayin [CBS Sporstline]

That's it, two mock drafts have picked Max Unger for the Steelers. Must be our pick...riiiighhhhtttt. Because I can definitely remember the last time the Steelers actually drafted someone they were projected to draft. Not. [NFL.com]

But if they do in fact draft Unger, they will have drafted the top Center by Mike Mayock's standards. He's also got AQ Shipley at 4. Just sayin. Value pick? [NFL.com]

Brett Favre taking Emmitt Smith's spot on ESPN? That's like replacing Ryan Seacrest with Ty Pennington. If this happens I'm getting DirecTV [USA Today]

Meanwhile, another old ass QB, Kurt Warner is getting offers in the $10-$12 million range from the Cards. Matt Leinart is a huge bust and I love it [ESPN]

Manny Sanguillen says Pedro Alvarez's swing looks like Willie Stargell's [WHYGAVS]

The Michel Therrien photoshop extravaganza. A lot of people went with the "[insert whatever here] is soff" theme. Like, everyone [The Pensblog]

This kid has a shirt that says "Crosby is a douche." Wait, who's a douche? Caps fans talk too much shit for my liking [Puck Daddy]

The Governator says 'roids have no place in sports. If you listen closely you can actually hear the pot calling the kettle black [Associated Press]

The Judge in Bonds' perjury case excludes some preliminary evidence. The first step towards an inevitable dismissal of the case. Why don't we just fast forward through all the bullshit and proceed right to the real bullshit [Moondog Sports]

The Mount Rushmore of Wrestlers Tirico Suave can't believe are still alive. Look for Jake The Snake to tap out first [Tirico Suave]

Nicole Richie's pregnant. Again. Apparently. [The Superficial]

Petition to get pole dancing into the 2012 Olympics. Where do I sign? [HHR]

I need an Australian Shepherd puppy [Upside Down Dogs]

I used to see several of these a day in good ol' Newark, DE when I was in College [FAIL Blog]

It was my buddy Joy's 1st bloggiversary on Saturday. Happy 1st, Joy!! [Joy Magnetism]

Theme of today's riffs = "Secret Songs." You know how every major label release has obligatory singles that mostly just end up annoying you? Well occasionally there are also epic songs on an album that only someone who cares will know about. These are them (theme courtesy of Nate dogg) [Friday Morning Riffs]

New Hatebreed out this week! I hear on this album, Jamey Jasta actually reaches through the speakers and punches you in the jaw [Punknews.org]

Today's new music to feed your ears = "Sometime Around Midnight" by The Airborne Toxic Event (Also courtesy of Nate)

Top five bonehead play of the day (possibly of all time)...

Biron FAIL!

Douchey moment of the day...

Ovie jaggin around with Sid. AO = Russia's answer to white trash.

/done

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.