February 7, 2009

OFTOT Week In Review...

This just in, an update on Cheech Marin Michael Phelps...

Yeah, no. That isn't even funny. I should never have even made the joke.

Honestly, I've had enough of that story to last me a lifetime. I can only hope that none of his other sponsors drop him, lest we be made to suffer the pain of having to listen to every news outlet from here to Zimbabwe discuss the moral underpinnings of smoking a little Mary Jane at a College party for another week. By the way, Michael - next time someone catches you smoking grass, I recommend using the Bill Clinton defense...repeat after me, "I didn't inhale."

But I digress.

Some of the garbage that gets written on these here internets, man, I can't even tell you. I never used to read a lot of blogs. When I first started this thing, really it was just Deadspin for me. And for a long time, things progressed that way. I, of course, always followed the Pittsburgh sports blogs. But like, in terms of general sports blogs, which tend to be the most prevalent, I didn't read too many of them until maybe last August?

Don't get me wrong, now I'm a blog reading machine; a fact you might have gathered from the copious links in the AFC North Headline of the Day posts. But I never started this bad boy to be part of the sports blogosphere. It's been a nice byproduct, but my original intention was just to create a place where eventually I could discuss the Steelers and related topics with other fans like myself from the far corners of the country. Hell, the Earth! I don't discriminate. Unless you're French.

Anyways, nowadays, you wouldn't even believe some of the crap that gets links around here. Like, I know we're all a bunch of degenerate idiots in our parents basements wearing bathrobes over our boxer shorts, but Jesus. Standards. It's good to have them.

I, personally, blame this on the internets themselves. I mean, at this point, any clown can start their own sports blog if they've got a laptop, a friend who knows Photoshop and a will to mass email every blog entry they ever write to other bloggers, annoying the shit out of them, in an attempt to get links (though this practice is ok in moderation). So what else should we expect? If Al Gore did not bestow upon us this gift of epic proportions that you and I are currently enjoying, then we wouldn't have this problem.

Either way, for no particular reason, I thought I'd make a few snarky remarks about blogging before I dive right into the Week in Review. Read 'em if you like. And if you don't, well then, that's just like, your opinion, man.

Let the observations begin...

People who drop "my readers" regularly, just stop. I see no valid reason for you to ever say "my readers' in a post unless you're trying to imply that you're somehow above your so-called "readers," which, face it, you are not. You write a blog. Stop taking yourself so seriously.

Apparently there are some formulas that some bloggers seem to think will always work. One of my favorites is - "Remember this asshole no one cared about from 1987?" You couldn't have cared less about him then, and if I didn't write about him, you wouldn't care about him now, but since I have, you might as well read it and remember how little you care about his existence. Good work. You get dressed all by yourself too? This formula is only appropriate if you've located Amos Zereoue and had drinks with him. Still can't believe that happened.

When someone says they "didn't (or don't) have time to post," there is most likely a 90% chance that what they're really saying is, "I'm too uncreative and lazy to think of anything remotely original to write, and have not committed myself to providing consistently decent content." Seriously, that's a cop out. I worked 40 hours a week, went to law school at night, spent all of my weekends studying, and I still managed to get through a five month long season, posting three times a day. Plus, I blog throughout the entire offseason, when the biggest news items are usually something like Big Ben going to Switzerland. Don't pretend to be trying when you're not. That's an insult to all of us. Punch yourself in the face.

If you're a newer blog, don't come to my blog and post your URL in the comments. If what you're writing is actually decent, people (including me) will eventually find it. When you're here, you're on my turf. If you feel like you've written something readable that you want me to link to, rock on. But send that shit to my inbox. Don't try and poach people from my comments. That's just the wrong way to go about it. You're either part of this community or you're not.

Finally, if you're going to blog, put some personality into it. Anyone can read a newspaper if they want unbiased, journalistic reporting. Blogs are interesting because they're someone's actual opinion or random thought process. At least that's how I feel about it. I want jokes. I want creativity. I want to know that you have an actual desire to add something to the blogging world, rather than just regurgitate what you read in the Post-Gazette. This is 2009. Get your mind right.

But hey, that all said, I'm a blogger too. What the hell do I know?

And now that we've got that out of the way, on to the Week in Review.

This week, we...

1. Posted up the final [Unnamed] Steelers Pregame Show of the season. And I cried a little...

2. Gameday poem + The Wood Photoshop + Are You There God, It's Me Benjamin = Super Bowl...

3. Celebrated the Steelers Super Bowl victory by encouraging you to make out with strangers...

4. News Flash: Crying about the refs is the new black...

5. Witnessed Domski shirtless, imitating Lebron James? Whatev. Steelers won the Super Bowl. I'm ok with it...

6. There are now four certainties in life I can point to - Death, Taxes, The Cleveland Browns sucking and every douchebag fan base coming out of the woodwork, guns blazing, when the Steelers win the Super Bowl...

7. Got a couple of headlines in this week...

8. What can I say about the Outtake Reel that hasn't already been said about the movie, Weekend at Bernie's...

9. Browns fan encourages Cardinals fans to make white trash jokes about Steelers fans. Steelers fans give Browns fan the business...

10. Doug Legursky, secured!

11. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry over the fact that Jeff Reed and Mitch Berger have a choreographed dance. If any of you ever see this thing and can get me either pictures or video, I'll give you a huge high five...

12. Hawaii is for lovers...

13. Chips, Chips, Chips, Chips!

News articles of the day to fire you up =
1. Whatever the hell is going on, here. I thought I had a handle on it...I don't. I hate Jacksonville.

2. According to this dude, the Steelers "will never be America's Team." As if we cared about that dumb shit in the first place. Oh, so "America's Team" is the team that boasts the most revenue from jersey sales? Who knew? Yeah, you're right. Money means everything...idiot.

Random joke of the day = You know how you know when you need to get your life together? When your TV spends three plus hours stuck on WE TV. I wish I was joking.

Song of the day = "Carwars" by Funeral Party.
video
I've been meaning to post this for a while. At first, I wasn't into this song. I really wanted to be, though, because they recorded their upcoming EP at The Mars Volta's studio, and let's face it, The Mars Volta is legendary. So I gave it a few more chances and eventually it's grown on me. In any case, feel free to give it a listen. And if you want more info, check out their Myspace page. They're touring with ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead starting February 19 in Dallas, and their EP will be out April 21st. Rock 'n roll. PS - If you want the actual mp3, email me (onefortheotherthumb@gmail.com).

And lastly, today marks the day of birth of one Bob [last name redacted], King of all Steelers fans...or something like that. Bob is Tec's best buddy from St. Vincent and an all around fantastic individual. Bob, I hope you drink yourself silly with $1 drafts. Put some Metallica on the jukebox and win a shuffleboard game for me, big guy.

This one's for Bob...

Sixburgh, people.

5 comments:

domski43 said...

Leave Michael Phelps alone!!!

This is not 'nam, there are rules.

tecmo said...

PREACH

Cotter said...

Free Michael Phelps!

And yes, that was rather preachy. I guess I gotta go do something embarrassing now to counteract. Shouldn't be too difficult for me.

tecmo said...

No, not negatively. I'm saying that this is right on point, and a bunch of newer bloggers should read this.

Anonymous said...

TL;DR.