November 21, 2008

Cris Collinsworth Approves Of Your Performance...

Well, alrighty then. We took care of that one, now, didn't we? I mean, I would've thought the score would be like 48-0, but I'll take 27-10. I gotta give it to 'em. The Bengals were really trying to win that game for a while. And in all honesty there were a couple of points where I started to get a really bad feeling like we were going to let a 1-8-1 team, missing one of its top receivers, among others, back into that game. But we didn't, really. And we got the win. So all is well in Steeler Nation today.

Or is it?

What happened to Willie Parker? A "tweaked knee?" That. Ain't. Good. And what about Brett Keisel? A sprained knee? I mean, that ain't legal good either. Ugh. Oh yeah, and Santonio has a concussion. That must be fun for him. But he did get ROCKED. So I guess we should be glad he's not hurt worse.

That all aside, we can at least enjoy this win a little bit. Ben's statline wasn't quite as robust as last week in certain areas (though it was great overall), but he did improve in one key area - TDs, running one in from eight yards out, and throwing one in to HEATH!!!, who surprisingly was an integral part of the overall game plan for once.

And while I thought we could have won this one by a few more, I can't really complain about the overall performance, considering we only had like three days off to prepare. So without any further bullshitting, let's run through the "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Made Me Want To Punch Cris Collinsworth In The Face" (which, to be fair, I would have wanted to do even if nothing bad happened, but I'm gonna go with it anyway).

Things That Were Awesome
1. Willie Gay looked pretty damn good last night. Hooray for Gay!
2. Mewelde Moore - 15 carries, 56 yds, 4 catches, 44 yds and a key part of winding that game down in the 4th quarter. Bravo, Memo.
3. A couple of successful screen passes? Surely Bruce Arians could not have called this game?
4. Aaron Smith - THREE passes defended! That's what I'm talkin' about!
5. Upside Down Dogs...I'm literally laughing out loud right now.
6. The soundtrack for this post.
7. Troy Polamalu is a monster! Ridiculous game and another pick.
8. ZERO offensive turnovers. Two weeks in a row, yay! We're making progress.
9. Aw, Gary Russel's first TD. Our boy is growing up so fast.
10. James Farrior - EIGHT solo tackles, to lead the team. Dude is Thirty. Three.

Things That Were Not Awesome
1. Nate Washington pass interference. I mean, it kind of looked like the DB ran into him, but damn that sucked.
2. ONE sack? Against a line that had two rookies starting on the left side?
3. Cris Collinsworth. And just because. No real reason necessary.
4. Letting Ryan Fitzpatrick drive the Bengals 58 yards in less than a minute on the Bengals last drive (at least Troy ended that one).
5. Letting the Bengals score at all. How was that game not even more lopsided?

Things That Made Me Want to Punch Cris Collinsworth in the Face
1. Keisel's injury.
2. Limas "Hands Team" Sweed getting knocked into the football on that kickoff. This isn't basketball, man. They're allowed to hit you.
3. Earth to Bruce Arians, that reverse call? Yeah, knock it off. That shit is worthless.
4. Illegal block out of bounds on a punt? Who? Why?
5. Paul Ernster (Pornster) - You sir, are fired. Make it happen, Tomlin.

Oh, and one more big fat sack of shit thing -- The internet feeds of the game on and You all, can suck a dick. If you're going to broadcast something like a football game, and a Steelers game at that, you better make sure your feed is immune from everything! I actually might have murdered "justdonate" if that dude's feed had screwed up one more time. Do not incur the wrath! But, you know, thanks for I could actually see the game...which reminds me...

I guess we've really got the NFL to thank for that one. Listen up, dick mongers. Screw you and your bullshit channel. As if you don't make enough money off of merchandising, licensing, and fining the Steelers, you've gotta make your network only available on certain cable/satellite providers and require people to pay extra for it? Give me a break. You and your channel can go get effed. Seriously.

Anyways, with that win, we move to 8-3 on the season, a full two games ahead of those Ratbirds from STDmore. At least until Sunday when they face the Illadelphia Donovan McNabb Circus Show. Let's hope the Eagles are so thoroughly embarrased by the fact that they tied with, and almost lost to, the Bengals that they come out and destroy the Ravens. Just absolutely dismantle them. That, friends, would make me very happy. So Andy Reid, if you're listening, cut that 'stache, first of all, you dick. Makes you look like Holmgren's fanboy. That or the Wizard of Oz. Second of all, quit jaggin' around with the ball and put it in the end zone. Ride the Don-o-van to victory. Your in state brethren need you. Do your civic duty.

So guys, what do we think? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? What were your Awesome, Not Awesome and Collinsworth face-punching worthy moments?


big TC said...

thumbs up! I thought aaron smith had 3?

notgomu said...

Overall, thumbs up. No knots last night, except in the 1st quarter. What was that bullshit offensive pass interference call on Nate Washington!?!? I was ready to kill someone. Over reaction? I digress. After that, it seemed like the bengals were punting every other series. And he's quite a punter, too. I'm not worried about Willie Parker, Mwelde Moore has been good filling in for him, and I think they should rest him until he's 100%. Hopefully that happens before the playoffs. I am more worried about Brett Keisel's injury, but I guess we'll know more about that as the week goes on. All in all, I feel pretty good about the game. not quite the blowout I wanted, but it will do. Has their ever been a 27-10 score before, on the third thursday in November while it was snowing?

Cotter said...

bigTC ~ He did. And I was surprised to see 2 passes defended in the box score. But that's since been fixed both there and here. Gotta give the man his due!

notgomu ~ Good question. My guess is yes, since if the answer were no we'd have already heard it from every news source in the known universe.

domski43 said...

feels good to be 8-3 and the steelers get a little breather until they play the particheats. I love the matchup comin up between matt asshole and the steelers d.

the only reason i think ernster is staying around is his ability to hold for jeff reed. (he did a good job holding last night, even though there were terrible snaps) Otherwise he sucks at punting and screwing the defense with field position will cause the steelers to lose to a better team. where art thou josh miller?

bob papa is the man, flawless broadcast even though that r-tard Collinsworth was babbling on and on about common sense b.s.

gary russell is looking real good on kick returns as well as short yardage. steelers will need him to step up even larger if willie's vag keeps flaring up.

i loved seeing "steelers football" last night. great job pounding the rock to milk the clock the entire second half.

heath miller back is making all the difference in the running and passing game.

about letting the bengals drive late in the game. i believe the steelers were doing this to keep everything in front of them, while making the bengals convert one 3rd down after another to take time off the clock and increase the probability of gettin a turnover, which eventually Troy took advantage of.

whats up with the fans arriving late for the steelers game. I'm disappointed in you steelers nation.

matt hates the internet said...

In regards to this game I'll quote the classic movie Kingpin, "I didn't see it, I heard it."

I'm never depending on the interwebs again to watch the Steelers. I rolled the dice and got nuthin'

Anyway, good win - D always shows up. James Farrior is the man.

I'm interested to see if we are able to run the ball in the playoffs. I feel we will be able to go very far and possibly win it all if we have a decent run game. FWP is really starting to chap my ass with all these nagging injuries...

Noah said...

Not to mention NO SACKS ON BEN!!!! That has to help some morale (even though it was the Bengals).

Agree about sacks on the bengals, but if anybody had to get one, it would have to be the Wood. (or Silverback).

tecmo said...

It's a small world when you've got unbelievable tits, matt

/don't even get the ball rolling with Kingpin. love that shit

domski43 said...

although sweed messed up, i'm still happy to see him being used around goal line situation.

ben wanted a tall receiver for this purpose. hope limas comes on strong down the stretch.

mitchy said...

Two things, both related:

1) Collinsworthless on his moronic flagellation of Heath Miller's blocking blah blah blah... STFU man, Heath wasn't springing those holes, the freaking FULLBACK was doing it! I recorded this game and had to go back just to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, as I saw the fullback on every play Captain Idiot commented about Miller's awesome blocking. Hey Collinsworth, ever hear of jersey numbers? Perhaps you should start taking notice of them...

2) Yes ladies and gents, I said FULLBACK. I even tweeted about it last night I was so shocked. Trying real, real, real hard not to get too excited 'bout that. Combine that and our young Gary Russell, and we got a rushing touchdown and a bunch of conversions.

Ok, that wasn't enough. There's one more thing that had me shaking my head. So Bruce Arians, it is the last play of the half, you gotta cover like 400 yards in order to eek out a score on this last play. "Hey I got a great idea mitchy! Let's call a slow-developing screen that starts 15 yards in the backfield!"

*mitchy slaps forehead

matt said...

Tec - extra large, 2 sugars, lots-a cream...Lots-a cream.

What the hell do you think cigarettes are???

tecmo said...

Ten frames?


That's for Quakers

a real munson said...

Half the dresses you have you need 2 hairdo's to wear!

Cotter said...

So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years?

Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh... Drinking. Lot a drinking.

PS - Mitchy wins best comment of day by far! +100, my good man!

tecmo said...

So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years?

I, uh..Ya see...uh...drinking. Lots of drinking.

I see. Are you still drinking?

No, I uh...I...Why? You buyin?

/easily my favorite quote in the whole movie

tecmo said...

dude, cotter...screw you.

tecmo said...

damn italics tags slowed me down, bitch

tecmo said...

damn italics tags slowed me down, bitch

tecmo said...

Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.

We don't have a cow. We have a bull.

I'm gonna go brush my teeth.

Cotter said...

So angry...I think someone needs a drink. Or a hug.

tecmo said...

Aight, I'm going on lunch. When I get back, ther better be like 1,000 more Kingpin quotes.

Especially the one from the landlady where she's like "don't know what it is about good sex that makes me have to crap. i think you jarred something loose."

Cotter said...

Too bad you just did that yourself, jagoff.

tecmo said...

haha o ya

Vern said...


Really, what was so bad about the screen call at the end of the half? A low risk play that has a small potential for a big gain...I thought it was a perfect call for the situation, personally.

- Vernon R. Peniscakes

matt said...

It's all that pumpin...pump'n dump.


tecmo said...

Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?

- Flossin'

Flossin? How did I get Munson?

- No. Munson's the name. Flossin's what I'm doin'.

matt said...

What did I just say?

-"...I think I tore my sac?"