April 2, 2008

Sometimes No News Is Good News...


So here we are, Wednesday, April 2, 2008. Another day with little in the way of Steeler news, or really NFL news in general.

We're still three some odd weeks from the NFL draft, and the biggest news around the league seems to be that Jay Cutler is quite displeased with supreme idiot teammate Brandon Marshall. Exciting...really just captivating stuff.

Anyways, in an attempt to again to fill this void and end the dearth of uninteresting shit, I give you five things we're happy to not be talking about around Steeler nation:

1. Whether or not it is appropriate for your Franchise QB to be feeding beer bongs to impressionable young sluts women ~ To Dan Bickley at the Arizona Republic - beer bongs are always appropriate. Bonging beers with college girls when you're 24/25 is certainly comendable questionable. But bonging beers in general? Frankly I encourage this practice.

2. Whether or not you'll have to "move on" without your team's star shit talker WR ~ For the record, I think talent wise, Chad Johnson is an excellent receiver. But he's a pussy. Like Randy Moss and unlike Hines Ward, we've seen Chad run and hide at the first "rattling of his cage" (or perhaps grill is more appropriate). The sad part about all this is that the Bengals are missing the boat on prime trade time here. My guess is they'll either make nice with him before the draft or try and use him as trade bait on draft day (not that they need any more picks or anything...).

3. Whether or not Pac Man Jones will be part of your franchise's future ~ Where do I stand here? One crazy asshole is a party, two is a crowd. Obviously Jerry Jones believes that the successful assimilation of Terrell Owens is an indication that being a Dallas Cowboy can tame even the wildest of beasts. But if he thinks Pac Man is going to tone it down, he might be just a tad misguided. I just can't help but think that this guy has had more than enough chances. If I had my way, we'd just send him straight to Siberia...I mean Arizona.

4. Whether or not your 3rd WR needs a nanny and/or chaperon at all times ~ I'd just like to point out that maybe regional law enforcement has it out for Chris Henry. There's no way one man can be cited, arrested, ticketed, and god knows what else (unfortunately, no tasering yet) for this many violations of the law. His ability to land himself in hot water is just impressive frankly. PS - I say this because he was cited last week for driving with expired license plates. That's $149 down the drain. Guess he better ask for that raise.

5. Whether or not that embarrassing little spygate scandal is indeed behind us ~ I mean listen, if Matt Walsh really had anything worth seeing, we probably would have seen it by now. Oh, he's negotiating for immunity. Immunity from what? If he's telling the truth, and has incriminating evidence against the DICKtator Bill Belichick, what's he so worried about. Nobody is going to castrate you for telling the truth and producing evidence you supposedly have that will either corroborate or discount the allegations. I'm guessing he wants what we all want...more money. I'm over it. Obviously this means nothing to the NFL. So let's just forget it.

And that's all I got. Anyone else? Marc, I know you've got something in you. Let's have it!

Ballhype: hype it up!

1 comment:

tobiathan said...

Methinks Walsh has something worth negotiating about. Things wouldn't go on this long if there was no wind in the sails. I think there'll be a big bomb dropping around the time camp starts.

Call it a gut-feeling.

And, i think Belicu*t and the Patrithiefs are going to end up as the biggest cheats in the history of pro football in time...