September 4, 2007

Who The Hell Is Chuck Norris?

[Editor's Note: Wanted to post this yesterday but hey, you can't always get what you want, right Mick Jagger?]

So I'm pretty sure we're all familiar with the pop culture icon Chuck Norris and his alleged inimitable feats of man-god proportions. Well, I'm here to tell you -- Walker, Texas Ranger ain't got nothing on another man from the Lone Star State, Casey "Big Snack" Hampton.

In keeping form with said Chuck Norris feats of strength (or whatever you want to call them), below are 10 things you might be surprised (but probably not) to learn about Casey Hampton, none of which are true (because if they were it just wouldn't be funny).

10 More Reasons to Love and Fear Casey Hampton:

  1. Casey Hampton once ate a 12-inch Chili Cheese Dog in 3 bites!
  2. If you thought Alan Greenspan was the man behind the US economy in recent years, you're sorely mistaken.
  3. Casey Hampton doesn't take names, he just kicks ass
  4. Casey Hampton invented the internet. Al Gore took all the credit.
  5. In High School, Casey Hampton was voted "Most Likely to Test The Boundaries of Manhood"
  6. Casey Hampton trains with Cheetahs on the African Plains
  7. Casey Hampton's Personal Assistant is the Man Otherwise Known as Diddy
  8. Casey Hampton was choking bitches before Wayne Brady was born
  9. Casey Hampton says forget SUVs, I drive a tank.
  10. Casey Hampton has 3 favorite foods - Raven, Bengal Tiger, and Browns fan...yes, you heard me.
What have YOU heard about Casey Hampton??

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