Who The Hell Is Chuck Norris?

[Editor's Note: Wanted to post this yesterday but hey, you can't always get what you want, right Mick Jagger?]

So I'm pretty sure we're all familiar with the pop culture icon Chuck Norris and his alleged inimitable feats of man-god proportions. Well, I'm here to tell you -- Walker, Texas Ranger ain't got nothing on another man from the Lone Star State, Casey "Big Snack" Hampton.

In keeping form with said Chuck Norris feats of strength (or whatever you want to call them), below are 10 things you might be surprised (but probably not) to learn about Casey Hampton, none of which are true (because if they were it just wouldn't be funny).

10 More Reasons to Love and Fear Casey Hampton:

1. Casey Hampton once ate a 12-inch Chili Cheese Dog in 3 bites!
2. If you thought Alan Greenspan was the man behind the US economy in recent years, you're sorely mistaken.
3. Casey Hampton doesn't take names, he just kicks ass
4. Casey Hampton invented the internet. Al Gore took all the credit.
5. In High School, Casey Hampton was voted "Most Likely to Test The Boundaries of Manhood"
6. Casey Hampton trains with Cheetahs on the African Plains
7. Casey Hampton's Personal Assistant is the Man Otherwise Known as Diddy
8. Casey Hampton was choking bitches before Wayne Brady was born
9. Casey Hampton says forget SUVs, I drive a tank.
10. Casey Hampton has 3 favorite foods - Raven, Bengal Tiger, and Browns fan...yes, you heard me.

What have YOU heard about Casey Hampton??

If A Tree Falls In The Woods...

It's Wednesday...which begs the question, is it still appropriate to be talking about a game that happened this past Sunday? But more importantly, do I care whether it is or not? Nope, definitely don't!

So yeah, I've read in a couple of places that, you know, that was just like, a preseason game or something. Sure it was, but just because it was a preseason game, that doesn't mean we wanted to lose, or worse, lose in the fashion the Saints lost in. Let's face it, preseason or not, those few downs Ben played preliminarily addressed some questions we've all had since last season. Plus, we won in dominating fashion. Sure, the starters didn't play too much, but even when they did, we showed everyone that we're for real.

However, the flip side of that is that it was a PRESEASON game and that you can't extrapolate the results of one meaningless game to try and apply them in projecting regular season success. So Steeler fans, temper your enthusiasm, but definitely get AMPED!

A few notes/observations - Domski, you know, that asshole who comments on my blog from time to time (and is also a lifelong friend), recently went to training camp to check out the Steelers as they continue to prepare for what we all hope will be an uber-successful 2007 season and he had the following to tell me -

- William Gay is the real deal. Domski said on one play, he slipped and got beat, but instead of giving up, kind of "crawled" after the receiver (who also slipped) and then when the ball was thrown, jumped about 4 ft in the air in front of the receiver for the interception. This kid is BALLS. Kudos to the Steelers for potentially finding a gem.

- Casey Hampton is a big dude. Domski said he looked like a turtle...kind of waddled. Guess they don't call him "Big Snack" for nothing. I'll bet he eats at least 15 Snickers bar when hunger strikes...

- Woodley is also a big dude. Domski said the jersey they got him in just doesn't fit (and that's not because it's a practice jersey). The man really is a beast...and looks like it on every play. Which raises the question - even if James Harrison is healthy, do we try him in the starting role? My inclination is still no, that he needs time, but his play is definitely showing he has the potential.

- Big Ben seems to have lost some weight. Domski said he looks healthy, athletic and poised. Plus, he seems to be relishing his role as leader of the team this year. Not like any of that surprises me, but still good to note.

- The solid play of Anthony Smith and Ryan Clark has allowed/will allow us to utilize Troy Polamalu even more effectively in his role as the omni-present threat. They've really stepped up and instilled confidence that they are ready to wreak havoc on opponents. Glad to hear it, now the million dollar question - which one starts?

That's it on meaningful thoughts for today, but here's some random news of note for yinz, cause I'm handy like that:

• Timmons seeking second opinion on groin injury - I got the Dr.'s orders for you Lawrence - Vagisil (Joking)...but seriously, he probably shouldn't go to a Dr. in Philadelphia unless he wants to be prescribed Brian Westbrook, they really love that guy I hear...


• "No Shortage of Steelers 'Stuff'" ~ When do you suppose I can expect them to make me a Steelers Onesie?


• Faneca being counted among the injured ~ Stated complication = "Shoulder difficulties." Real cause = Bruised ego...Also, notice in that article that the Steelers will soon be revealing their much-anticipated "no-huddle" offense...


• That Bill Cowher looking mascot thing finally has a name...besides "That Bill Cowher looking mascot" - It's Steelly McBeam, an equally stupid name for a stupid mascot. I'm sorry but this is not what I'd call a cool mascot...maybe we should try cheerleaders.


• I guess it's true, you learn something new everyday, just ask Brady Quinn...


• Carey Davis makes "The News"...


• I'd pretty much say this question (#8) has been answered...and the answer is MIKE TOMLIN.


• Eric Steinbach injured...It's a good day to be Brady Quinn, huh?

Casey Hampton Ain't Got No Time for Jibba Jabba!

For all you suckas out there who don't know 'bout big Casey Hampton -- behold the 6'1", 325 pound mountain of man that is the Steelers #98.

In case you hadn't already guessed, Hampton is probably my favorite Steeler (and maybe yours). So, when I read this article in Monday's the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, I was encouraged to hear that Casey's getting a chance to be more of a leader now that Joey Porter (and his mouth) is gone and that it seems a natural fit for him. Not surprised though. Who better than a guy that has made the pro bowl 3 out of the last 4 years and consistently takes on two, sometimes three guys at a time?

Casey has already led by example, but as the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review points out, he is now becoming more vocal with his teammates. What's more, Casey is one of those guys who is constantly challenging himself to do better. So you would assume he will expect nothing less from his fellow defenders. Probably a good thing after last season, in which the defense spent an exorbitant amount of time on the field, underachieved a bit, and would understandably be regaining their collective self esteem. Casey will hopefully keep the fire going under their asses and encourage them to be the Big Nasty D that we all as Steeler fans have been spoiled enough over the years to expect.

Plus, this dude knows how to party...and judging by the inset picture, fully understands the unwritten rule that a pimp must make sure his outfit is coordinated at all times.

Rock on Casey, and if Ike Taylor gives you any lip, punch him in his face and tell him to spend less time on his website and more time working on his shutdown corner skills.