Read My Lips - Kellen Winslow Is Soft...

The floor will now recognize the esteemed delegate from Miami, Florida. What say you, Joey Porter?

Yes folks, it's your weekly Joey Porter update. He's left our team and city, but not our hearts (or maybe that's just me). Like his decline in on field production or not, there's no denying the entertainment value that is Joey Porter. Now that he's somebody else's problem, we can all enjoy him for what he is...a showman.

Never one to disappoint a media crowd, Peezy's latest appearance in the headlines involves him guaranteeing victory for the Dolphins this Sunday against the Raiders. Gee, what a bold and unprecedented prediction Joey! Listen man, I know the Dolphins have severely tempered expectations this year, but if you can't beat the Raiders (ahem ahem, Cleveland), I think you better pack it in for this season. Whatever improvements have been made out in Oakland, I just don't think they'll amount to a playoff run this season (can't say for subsequent years). So frankly, I think you BETTER beat Oakland Peezy!

Now, had he predicted he would have 2 sacks himself in Sunday's game, THEN I'd be impressed (by his boldness, not his play...cause we all know he would NOT be getting 2 sacks). But guaranteeing a win over a team that had the worst record in the entire league last year, eh, not so much.

Nice try Joey, but we're not buying it. By the way, how's the weather down there?