Well Hello There...

Over the top? Be honest...

Happy Super Bowl week friends!

Thank god we've finally arrived upon that week in which we can officially crown the Patriots once and for all...I mean watch the Giants take on the heavily favored Patriots in none other than the home of Whisengrimm - the arid, Arizona desert.

So today, because I love you guys that much, I've taken all the hard work out of (and put all the fun into) reading the week's hottest news headlines (thus far) leading up to Sunday. They probably aren't going to be very funny because, well, I'm not very funny....But I'm trying here... so give a brotha a break. Just read them...

SUPER BOWL XLII Headlines (Early Edition)
1. Have no fear, citizens of America, this year's Super Bowl will be sans terrorists...well, except for this guy...

2. Teddy Bruschi inspires stroke survivors...Rodney Harrison inspires Jose Canseco...

3. Just in case you forgot - Randy Moss is still a piece of shit...

4. The NFL has now gone to great lengths to make sure the Patriots wide receivers are successful on Sunday...

5. Even when there's absolutely no reason to, why not kick the Browns in the balls?

6. Wow, they're scraping the bottom here...

7. That walking boot was just Tom Brady's excuse to steal all the celeb ink from Giselle...get yours Tommy Boy...

8. Plaxico Burress is still a veritable Rhodes Scholar...hey, don't forget to spike the ball, huh hoss?

9. F-E-A-G-L-E-S, Jeff Feagles! At last the day is his...

10. And finally, not a headline this week, but rather one from last August (bonus points if you were around to read it the first time) - just a friendly reminder that your gracious host for Half time this year will be Ryan Seacrest...let's hope as a finale he gets death by firing squad.

Done.

PS - give me your predictions...approximately...now...(domski don't bother - i've got you down for $500 on the Patriots)...

Just When You Thought It Was Safe To Go Outside...

Or watch the Super Bowl pre-game and halftime business...Ryan Seacrest inserts himself into the action. The American Idol host, and perhaps the most annoying person on the face of the earth, is allegedly going to be handling the hosting duties for Super Bowl XLII's pre-game and halftime extravaganzas.

Obviously this is a perfect fit...because the demographic that watches American Idol is sure to watch the Super Bowl...err...not. Guess I won't be watching that crap again this year. Why do they even have all those frills anyway? I'll admit I was entertained by the whole Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake breast exposure, but beyond that, these have been utterly nap-inducing. Then again, that could be the 8-10 beers I consume between kickoff and halftime...

I guess maybe next they'll have people texting their votes in for who THEY want to win the Super Bowl. Dial 9856-01 for the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dial 9856-02 for the Washington Redskins, Dial 9856-03 to vote PacMan Jones for President, Dial 9856-04 to kill yourself...oh that Ryan Seacrest is a silly bitch.

Sign of the Apocalypse - August 16, 2007.

PS - you'd be amazed by the abundance of doctored Ryan Seacrest images available on this here interweb...and yet I totally leached the one Deadspin used...what can I say, I'm a dick.