AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Finding headlines to write about everyday is actually becoming more of a miserable experience than pretty much anything else about writing this blog.

Sure, if I had more time I could cruise around the intertubes and probably find some funny ass shit. But why do that when I can spend my evenings watching strippers fight over Bret Michaels?

Anyways, here's a headline. Moderately interesting. The Jets. Jay Cutler. Why not?

You might look at this and ask yourself - Is Cutler a fit for the Jets? Which sounds like a valid question. But while I'm sure Kellen Clemens is a future lock for Canton, I don't imagine it could really hurt the Jets to bring in a pro bowl QB either way.

That said, I don't really have the motivation to go anywhere else with this discussion.

Sorry, just not really in the mood to pretend like I care today.

One other thing, however...

Delaware, dude. Clueless.

[Segue to links]...

Steelers model trains rule [PSaMP]

BTSC does a little Steelers Q & A with Jim Wexell [BTSC]

This guy understands [Fox Sports]

The Ravens have revamped their uniforms to mirror their new defeatist attitude [Steely McGnome Predicts]

What do the grazing habits of cows and Bengals fans have in common? Find out (sort of) [Grumpy Old Dog]

TO didn't make it to the Bills offseason workouts. Probably because he's too busy making out with guys [AP]

Oh, Josh McDaniels pledges his loyalty to Jay Cutler? Don't go into comedy, Josh. Because if that's indicative of your timing...all aboard the failboat [AP]

Curt Schilling looking like a child toucher [Walkoff Walk]

Sounds like Doug and Microsoft are on the rocks [Dug E Fresh Rants]

Illuminati and adventures in whiskey tasting. Am I the only blogger who doesn't get free booze? I mean, I talk about it enough. What kind of words does a guy have to write on the internet to get that kind of action? [Great Moments in Christory]

"Sexsomnia." Or, as it's known in the streets - being a slut [Blog of Hilarity]

Lauren Conrad's clothing line ceasing production? I have no more reason to live [The Superficial]

Octovag has obviously realized that as long as she's leeching off taxpayers, she'll be in the news... [CNN]

I'd really like to be the guy who writes this blog. If anyone knows how to make that happen, please let me know [Creation Rex]

Steel City Con - April 24-26 (h/t Illuminati!) [SteelCityCon]

Some might say I mailed this one in.

To those, I say - eff off.

Obligatory Footer - If you haven't already, become a fan of OFTOT on Facebook, join the blog network and follow me on Twitter. Or don't. Your choice, really.

25 Random Things. Let's Do This...

Don't act like you don't know exactly what the hell I'm talking about. Those damn note things on Facebook. Yeah, those things. I did one last Sunday.

So, you know, since I spent a few minutes on it and it contains some interesting items about me, I figured I might as well share it with the world at large. And by "interesting items" I of course mean Domski's birthday at Medieval Times five years ago.

Which reminds me, if you ever go to Medieval Times, don't sit in the yellow knight's section. That dude sucks. He got rolled in like the first round. A real pussy, this guy. The black/white knight was the dude, though. I'd plop my ass in his section if we ever go again.

That's what she said.

Anyways, two things to keep in mind...
1. I'm a weird dude.
2. These are just 25 random things that popped into my head while I was writing the note.

Or to put it another way - if you don't get it, I probably don't either.

Just read these damn things before I waste any more of your valuable Friday morning...

1. I don't think I even know 25 people I want to tag. Also, how the hell do you tag people?

2. I've recently started to read a lot more about celebrities...which makes me somewhat to moderately uncomfortable.

3. I'm still holding out hope that someday I'll be a famous rock star.

4. I am infinitely happier today than I was a year ago.

5. Egypt doesn't [f word] around.

6. I think no one over the age of 22 should drink vodka and sprite.

7. The day that I join Match.com is the day that I shoot myself.

8. I'm wearing a snuggie right now.

9. I'm Amanda Ashe's "Top Girl." Whatever that means...

10. I really wish I had some Cheez It party mix right now.

11. I want to make enough money so that I don't have to do anything all day but surf. First, I'll have to learn to surf, though.

12. I have to find a date for my friend Kim's wedding and I'm concerned that 10 months won't be enough time. Shit, less than 10 months...

13. Best birthday celebration I've ever been to - Domski's [age redacted] birthday - November, 2003. Medieval Times, Lyndhurst, NJ. Best. Idea. Ever.

14. When I first met my ex-gf, she got me punched in the face. After that I didn't talk to her for three months.

15. 1 in 4 women can't read a home pregnancy test? I don't like those odds.

16. When I'm rich and famous, my mansion is going to have a lazy river running through it...with tiki bars interspersed.

17. For almost two years, my ringtone has been "Throw Some Ds on It" by Rich Boy.

18. Saddest day of my life so far = The day I realized the only drinking game I can remember how to play is beer pong.

19. They say being in law school is supposed to help when picking up chicks. So far I have not found that to be the case...

20. I already have white hairs. I appear to be skipping gray altogether.

21. On the one hand, I can't afford to take an unpaid internship. On the other hand, I can't afford not to.

22. I wish I had the guts to be a comedian. Oh, and the sense of humor, of course.

23. My Dad is categorically the coolest dude I know.

24. There are few things prettier than a sunset over the Pacific.

Someone please kick me in the nuts for saying that...

25. I hope that I live a long life, full of joy and fun. I want to have a family that loves me, enough money to buy all of the dumb things I want, and I want to experience all that life has to offer.

Now, because I know you're all on Facebook - become a fan of OFTOT! And/or join the blog network. Might as well hit Twitter too while you're at it.

And if that wasn't enough for you, here's something else random that you can disregard...


It's Friday the 13th. Some weird shit is supposed to happen today or something. Try and avoid things that might get you seriously hurt or killed, ok? Good talk, see you out there.

We're Dealing With A Whole New Animal, Here...

Two Arizona Cardinals fans, Ryan Hanlon and co-worker Rex Perkins, 37, admitted they hung their team's flag in a tree and burned "Go Cards," "Go Kurt," and "I heart AZ" in McNabb's yard with diesel fuel, Chandler police Sgt. Joe Favazzo said Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2009.

Big deal. I did that to Domski's house last night. Except I wrote, "I heart balls." I figured he'd like that more.

Don't worry, Donovan. We'll avenge this travesty and restore your dignity. Well, maybe not that last part. But I'm pretty, definitely sure we can manage the first one.

"I heart AZ?"

What kind of pussy shit is that? Earth to you two idiots - you're supposed to burn shit talk into the lawn of the person you're talking shit to. Not encouragement for your team, QB and/or state of residence. Wasted opportunity, man. I'm telling you...

Besides, what's up, blue eyes? Nice Old Navy polo!

Ok, I'm done now.