March 25, 2009

Please Cease & Decist All Shenanigans, Thanks...


What? You want me to sit here and bitch and moan about the Hines Ward rule for the next four or five paragraphs?

Sure, I could do that. But what good would it do?

The league obviously feels that NFL fans really want to be watching High School Musical. And who am I to tell them what to do? I just write words on the internet.

No, seriously though, this is definitely some bullshit. But as the NFL is a dictatorship (emphasis on the DIC part), all we can do is live with it.

Not like these finely tuned athletic machines haven't been programmed to maul anyone regardless of whether or not it happens to be a blind side hit or anything...not at all.

And hey, I'm all about safety. I look both ways before I cross the street. I don't take candy from strangers (except for that one time). I wear elbow pads when I rollerblade (wait, what?). So, in turn, I also recognize that getting "blindsided" is no joke.

Witness...

Between you all and me (and the rest of the internets), I really just wanted an excuse to post that video. What a hit!

Also, you have no idea how hard it is to find that clip without some shitty nu metal song as accompaniment. If I wanted to listen to Drowning Pool, I'd raid my Mom's CD collection.

But let's all be honest, the real question is - How is this still legal?

No blindside hits, but a God damned all male review? What is this, figure skating?

Sort it out, Tomlin...


Fill in the blank - This new rule is ________________.

PS - There's probably a link to a story about this somewhere, but I didn't bother to go looking. Oops.

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10 comments:

Blitz from BTSC said...

Malarky meets Horse Manure meets Hogwash meets Rice-A-Roni meets motherfuckingbullshit.

I have thought a lot about this actually and I think that they are not acknowledging the very primitive and gladitorial aspect of the game that many people are attracted to. Not every one is Ron Jaworski who gets boners over game film. Some just like physicality and unhuman collisions. These guys are paid millions to do that.

domski43 said...

...the continued pussification of the NFL.

btw I cant find Ray Lewis in the picture of the Ravens cheerleaders?

tiny350Z said...

Agreed with the above statements. While football hits may be a little harder, it's good to remember that rugby players are still playing without pads...

Ray Lewis couldn't make it in time for the photo b/c someone hid his tutu. He stabbed that person.

Get Fresh Designs said...

Just give them flags already. let that be a tackle. or maybe two hand touch?

I got you with two hands! na-uh!

What's worse is the evident expansion of the regular season. 16 games is good enough. why do we need 17 or 18? then the playoffs?

Grumpy said...

The new rule is total BS. I was there and then saw the replay many times on Cincy tv. Hines led with his shoulder into River's shoulder. His shoulder then slid up into his jaw. Clean hit, legal hit. Keep your head on a swivel.

random asshole said...

It could be worse. After a few more years of rules like this, they won't even bother actually playing football anymore, instead determining the Super Bowl champion by whoever wins the Football Outsiders' simulation of the NFL season.

Cotter said...

In all fairness, the rule only says a player can't make a blindside block "using his helmet, forearm or shoulder" and can't have the block land "to the head or neck area of the defender."

So as long as it's a pelvic thrust or whatever, it's probably cool.

Shouldn't be a problem for someone like Chad Johnson, but I doubt Hines will be too keen on it.

tiny350Z said...

I would love to see a WR just stop in front of a lineman, hands behind head doing a pelvic thrust at him.

That would make my day.

domski43 said...

...somewhere a ref is throwing a flag on Willie Colon

ladi_izz said...

You know what would be good for the NFL? Roger Goodell getting a flaming arrow to the chest Lost-style.

/Our pussy-ass commissioner makes me violent.
//Thanks for the mental image, tiny! LOL