Please Cease & Decist All Shenanigans, Thanks...

What? You want me to sit here and bitch and moan about the Hines Ward rule for the next four or five paragraphs?

Sure, I could do that. But what good would it do?

The league obviously feels that NFL fans really want to be watching High School Musical. And who am I to tell them what to do? I just write words on the internet.

No, seriously though, this is definitely some bullshit. But as the NFL is a dictatorship (emphasis on the DIC part), all we can do is live with it.

Not like these finely tuned athletic machines haven't been programmed to maul anyone regardless of whether or not it happens to be a blind side hit or anything...not at all.

And hey, I'm all about safety. I look both ways before I cross the street. I don't take candy from strangers (except for that one time). I wear elbow pads when I rollerblade (wait, what?). So, in turn, I also recognize that getting "blindsided" is no joke.

Witness...

Between you all and me (and the rest of the internets), I really just wanted an excuse to post that video. What a hit!

Also, you have no idea how hard it is to find that clip without some shitty nu metal song as accompaniment. If I wanted to listen to Drowning Pool, I'd raid my Mom's CD collection.

But let's all be honest, the real question is - How is this still legal?

No blindside hits, but a God damned all male review? What is this, figure skating?

Sort it out, Tomlin...


Fill in the blank - This new rule is ________________.

PS - There's probably a link to a story about this somewhere, but I didn't bother to go looking. Oops.

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Oh My, What Big News THIS Is!

The 2009-2010 NFL season will open with Steelers-Titans on Thursday, September 10, 2009.

Raise your hand if you think this is a big deal.

Exactly.

But hey, you know, I guess that's nice to be in the featured opener. Which is pretty much the kind of thing you have to expect will happen to your team when it has just won its 6th Lombardi Trophy.

Also, rumor has it that the Titans ended up drawing the short straw because the Ravens specifically asked not to have themselves embarrassed by the Steelers on prime time TV again. I guess they don't have that much faith in LJ Smith's inevitable positive impact on their Offense. Who knows.

The Titans, likewise, are a bunch of dicks. In case you've forgotten...

I took this video on the world's worst camera. And yet, it's gotten 2,905 views and has 126 comments. If that doesn't tell you a lot about the internet, I'm not sure what does.

Beyond that, I don't know what you want me to aay about this. The Titans don't mess around (except in at least one specific way involving a Terrible Towel). So this will probably be a good game, provided Kerry Collins doesn't die before September.

Vince Young, FTW!

In other news, John Stallworth is apparently one of the newest Steelers owners. And this is easily the best way to break a story ever.

Also, the Steelers are getting a 5th round compensatory pick for "losing" Alan Faneca and Clark Haggans to free agency. Some value on that pair, I guess...

...that's what she said.

Then, there's the Browns. Who just signed David Patten. Who I wasn't sure was even playing in the NFL anymore?

What's more, they're rumored to be shopping Braylon Edwards around.

So given these two facts, along with everything that's happened in the few months since the Browns' season ended, and the fact that Eric Mangini has fail written all over him, one can only assume that the Browns new business plan is to suck so bad that they get moved to LA. Or Toronto. Or, the Arena League...


What would Brady Quinn do?


Finally, if this made any sense to you, congratulations. I wrote it and have read it over at least three times now, and I still have no idea what most of it says.

My work here is done.

/brushes shoulders off

Now, who wants to talk about dinosaurs?

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