March 12, 2009

AFC North Headline Of The Day...

Here's how this works - you write about Delaware, I write about Delaware.

As Wayne Campbell himself would say, "It's dutch door action."

Frankly, I couldn't care less what this story is about. And in reality, if this were to actually happen, this whole legalized sports gambling in Delaware, Domski's life would pretty much be over. Call time of death as soon as that shit gets green lighted. Or more appropriately, call Domski's bank and put a freeze on all his accounts. But that's neither here nor there.

Delaware, as you all know by now, is where I spent three of my four formative undergrad years. I like to joke about how this state is so small that there were more High Schools in my COUNTY growing up than in the entire state of Delaware, but let's be honest, anywhere I can buy a six pack of Zima without having to pay sales tax, I'm in.

Anyways, in honor of Delaware getting some play, I'd like to share the following fun facts with you. Hell, maybe you'll even learn something (not likely)...

1. Wilmington, DE - There is a sign at the edge of this town that reads "A Place to be Somebody." Still haven't figured out "who" that is...

2. Everything in the whole damn state is "Best of Delaware." No joke, every place you go in Delaware will undoubtedly have a sign boasting its honor as a "Best of Delaware" establishment. Which is kind of like winning the consolation prize at field day, but I guess if they didn't have it, people might get confused and think it's closed or something. What the point of the award is if everyone gets one, is beyond me. But then, that clearly isn't the only thing I don't understand about Delaware.

3. There are three types of people in Delaware - #1 = Mullets, #2 = White people who think they're black, and #3 = Eagles fans.

4. Delaware is like the island from Lost. People who were born there and grew up there never want to leave. No idea why. It isn't exactly some tropical paradise, although you can still find a beer for $2 there. Case in point - Elena Delle Donne. Some of you may remember this girl as probably one of the highest recruited women's college basketball players a couple years back (you know, if you follow that sort of thing). In a demonstration of surprisingly sound judgment for someone from Delaware, Elena originally chose to go to the University of Connecticut. But John Locke must have showed up at her door step or something, because I don't even know if she made it more than a semester before she transferred back to go to UD. And to play volleyball. If you can explain this decision to me, please, be my guest.

Full disclosure - I also transferred to Delaware. So maybe I'm the crazy one. Still, I didn't have a full ride to play basketball. Just beer pong.

5. These jokers claim to be the "First State" of the Union. But that's only because while everyone else was reading the Constitution, the idiot they sent from Delaware strolled in 10 minutes late and decided he didn't much care what it said. This marked the first example of what has now become the dumbest phenomenon ever - commenting "first" on a blog post. If you're one of those people, please do us all a favor and unlearn how to use a keyboard. Thanks.

And now, all that's left for me to do is to sit back and wait for Silky Johnson to unleash a firestorm on me for making fun of his home state...and probably the Eagles too. He's a sensitive man.

These links would definitely be voted "Best of Delaware"...

Fun with a comic strip generator [PSaMP]

Byron Leftwich, still hanging out there [ESPN]

Steelers re-sign Andre Frazier [ESPN]

Browns release Joey J [Associated Press]

Panthers release Ken Lucas. Pick him up [Associated Press]

The inmates are running the prison [The Big Lead]

Maybe Sage Rosenfels would've had better luck... [Shutdown Corner]

Some dudes who can't get jobs in the NFL anymore are going to coach in the UFL. WOOHOO! Who gives a shit? [Associated Press]

TO bitches. Some more. [Sports Radio Interviews]

SI wants you to hate hockey. And I want you to hate SI. PS - Follow The Legend of Vinny T on Twitter! [The Legend of Vincent Tremblay]

Update: Rinko and Dinesh were not, in fact, swindle by some crooked asshole from Topps after all [Walkoff Walk]

HHR sits down with the one and only Bill Lambeer, and hopefully his rec-specs [HHR]

And celebrate the greatest Irish athletes of all time in honor of St. Patty's [HHR]

Illuminati's advice column [9-to-Fried]

Seriously, WTF is right, man [FAIL Blog]

Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams. I'm sorry, I just don't see it [The Superficial]

Theme of the day at the Riffs = "Falling" [Friday Morning Riffs]

PS - This post would've been better, but it feels like my head is being crushed in a vice right now. Send hard drugs.

PPS - DJ Maticulous at Huckleberry Bar in Williamsburg, Brooklyn tomorrow night, 10-2. Come drink with us and listen to some sick tunes courtesy of Bunny Cody himself, Matt.



matt said...

nobody better ask me if I'm Bunny tomorrow night...

Hope to see those in the NYC area tomorrow!

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

Cotter ~ A few points if I may.
1 I do reside in the "Small Wonder", but I'm not from there. I hail from South Carolina.
2 You may be on to something with that whole "Best in Delaware" thing.
3 You heart townies!
4 Della Donne was the consensus top female prospect in the nation for women's
5 I think that sign in Wilmington is like Venus Fly trap for luring people with income to enter.
6 This is the first that I have heard about the possibility of sports betting in Delaware. Tragic, I know. However I'm all for it though! Maybe they can change the sign in Wilmington to read "The New Sin City!"
Kennet Swim Team Rules

domski43 said...

First! (remove my handhood please)

I like to refer to Delaware as Baltimore and Philadelphia's throw up.

Just like any other state Delaware has its positives and negatives.

positives = no sales tax, being able to buy beer/liquor in the same place, freedom to cheer for whatever sports team you want b/c delaware doesnt have a professional sports team.

negatives = everything else.

I will soon be joining the G.O.O.D Campaign (Get Out Of Delaware).

domski43 said...

First FAIL!

Cotter said...

Oh shit, I don't know how I forgot this...but, Go Blue Hens!

Grumpy said...

You're a Fightin' Blue Hen. I find that cool.

tiny350Z said...

A guy a work with played for Delaware football - back back back in the day. He gave me the Fightin' Blue Hens 1975 Play Manual.

If there were to be a lockout in 2010 or whatever, I was going to create my own league... so he gave me plays.

If you're going to legalize sports betting - just go all the way and allow full scale casinos, sports books, slots, and table games. I would go.

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

VIVA Delaware PARK!!

tecmo said...

HAHAHA Delaware Park is awesome. My mom still goes there semi-frequently

domski43 said...

Dover vs Rehobeth?

Nate said...

My brother lives in Wilmington. That's all I got.

Cotter drinks Zima.

BTW, if sick, hit up the Zicam. Period. The shit just works.

Cotter said...

1. Delaware Park doesn't fuck around.

2. Zima was solid shit back in the day. Don't think they make it anymore, but what's funnier than dropping Zima on you?

3. OCMD 4 life.

Domski - '05 or '06?

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...


The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

Tec ~ I've got a players card for Delaware Park. That's where I pick up the train for my commute as well.

Cotter said...

Hey man, it's Pizza TUGO's.

Show a little deference, asshole.

Nate said...

Zima came out when I was in high school. I remember all the girls drinking it at keggers.

Just relating observations, not making commentary...wait...yes, I am making commentary.