Big time hat tip to Noah for pointing this one out. What a story!
Now, I've got a severe migraine right now, so my commentary is going to be limited and probably insultingly unfunny. So for that I am sorry. But hey, shit happens, as they say.
Anyways, I've been crazy about a lot of things over the years. Mostly beer, chicks, and Thin Mint or Mint Milano cookies. But never in my life have I felt the need to check Facebook so badly that I'd first of all, ask someone I don't know to use their laptop, and second of all, STEAL their laptop. You've gotta have six to eight screws loose to pull some ridiculous shit like that. And balls the size of Ryan Seacrest's ego.
Maybe he just really wanted to post his "25 Things" like everyone else. Only, if that were the case, I don't think we would need him to actually do it to get an idea of what they might be. My guess would be 1-25 = "I am batshit, out of my damn mind, this is the biggest thrill I've had all day besides watching the Tyra Banks Show, crazy." Or something along those lines.
In other random yet hilarious news, my landlord (who's also my downstairs neighbor) has placed a sign in the front window of our building that reads in pertinent part - "Trespassers will be met with IMMEDIATE DEADLY PHYSICAL FORCE."
You know how you know someone isn't effing around? When they say, "Trespassers will be met with IMMEDIATE DEADLY PHYSICAL FORCE."
I'm glad I'm on his side.
Anyways, instead of stealing a laptop to check his Facebook, that dude definitely should've stolen a laptop to read these links...
Who WOULDN'T want to ride a Steelers coaster? [PSaMP]
An interview with Dick Carey, a DB who played under LeBeau in Cincy [BTSC]
Ed Bouchette's free agency predictions. Solid read, and you should def check it out [Post-Gazette]
The Steelers continue to think Willie Colon is worth re-signing. I guess someday I'm going to have to accept the fact that we're stuck with him. Unfortunately, that day will not be today [Post-Gazette]
Everybody loves LaMarr Woodley [KDKA]
Sansmokio's preliminary hearing for that weed charge is apparently today. Someone should definitely stage a smoke out...and don't look at me [Associated Press]
Tomlin to speak to Coaches at Tennessee. No, not Lane Kiffin. Some High School coaches or something...anyways [Go Vols Xtra]
Brandon Jacobs signs a $25 mil deal with the Giants. No surprise there. In fact, I'm not sure why I'm even including this link [Associated Press]
It is kind of ridic how many big name players have been cut this offseason. The economy is effing us all apparently [Mooondog Sports]
Yanni. Pens win [The Pensblog]
Pens trade Ryan Whitney for Chris Kunitz!! [Trib]
Department of Weird Headlines, Dug E Fresh addition - "Game console linked to skin disorder." Subhead should've read "Actually, skin disorder linked to being a dirty 12 year old human being who happens to play video games" [Dug E Fresh Rants]
Apparently Puerto Rico has decided to solve is monkey over population problem by sending some of the surplus to Iran. Come on, we know these are trained CIA monkeys. You're not fooling anyone, Puerto Rico [Associated Press]
drain on society OctoMom was offered a million dollars from Vivid Video to make a porn. Number one, that is definitely one woman I would not want to watch have sex. Number two, if there was ever a situation that was like throwing a hot dog down a hallway...well, you get the idea. And you're welcome for the assured night terrors [Huffington Post]
Twittering during the State of the Union? Only a Blue Hen... [Carbolic Smoke Ball]
For a blog that premises itself on failure, the FAIL Blog sure continues to succeed in making me piss myself [FAIL Blog]
Theme of today's riffs = "Twisted Love Songs" [Friday Morning Riffs]
I need like two or three more people for this week's Meeting People Is Easy. Come on, somebody step up. I don't feel like sending a mass email today.
PLEASE SEND EXCEDRIN!!!
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