January 12, 2009

World, Meet Benny The Blade...

So I'd say that win was an early birthday gift (ye olde b-day is this Thursday). But I'm actually hoping that next week, Big Ben and the Steelers can give me the present I'd really like. Well, ok, at least get themselves a step closer to the present I'd really like.

The Steelers were the only home team, and the highest seeded team to win this weekend. Which, first of all, is just a total mind[eff], considering the Panthers were playing the CARDINALS. But I guess the Whis is just too much for the NFC to handle. The Cards are bombing the shit out of that conference right now. Larry Fitz may be the most ridiculous receiver left in the hunt.

Outside of Hines, of course!

Anyways, the Offense clicked. The Special Teams, one pretty big gaffe notwithstanding, looked pretty sharp. The line BLOCKED(!). Willie ran amok. Ben threw rocks all over the field. It was sheer pandemonium. Case in point - A punt return TD? When was the last time that kind of thing happened for the Steelers in a playoff game?

So while I had a hard time believing what I was seeing during most of yesterday's game, I think perhaps the most refreshing (but not surprising) thing was Ben Roethlisberger.

Big Ben was unbelievable. There really isn't any other way I can put it that will do his performance from yesterday justice. He was the football player equivalent of a Swiss Army Knife (see above). He threw, he punted, he blocked...I think he may have even come up with the cure for cancer in between drives during the 3rd quarter and then diffused a bomb at the Igloo in the 4th quarter, while Byron Leftwich was taking care of his light work.

The big story leading up to this game was Ben's concussion. Guess that one had a happy ending, then, didn't it? Just goes to show you that Big Ben is a fighter; a winner. Of course, I say that today...

There will probably be those who look at the fact that we ran the ball 16 more times than we threw it and say that Ben just didn't lose the game. But those people clearly didn't actually watch the game. The Chargers weren't stopping the run. So why should we stop running it? The bottom line for Ben is that he made the plays he had an opportunity to make and didn't make any major mistakes. He was 17/26 for 181 yards, and what's more, he completed passes to six different receivers. It was a pretty money performance for Ben.

And while I'm not going to devote an entire paragraph to it here, Master Fly W. Large was awfully good himself. For more on that, see the "Things That Were Awesome" below.

Now, this certainly doesn't mean the game was a "flawless victory" as you might find in Mortal Kombat...

But if you want me to sit here and pick out all of the things the Steelers did wrong, I'm sorry. I'm just not going to do that. It feels way to good to win that game the way we won it. In fact, even as I now write this, I'm still all warm and fuzzy inside.

I will say this, though. Let's not forget that the Chargers D is not the Ravens D. However, the Ravens went knock down, drag out, with the Titans on Saturday. So there's a good chance they'll already be bruised and battered when they take the field Sunday. Not that that means they can't still rip shit up, but you know what I'm getting at.

Is there any method to this costumery whatsoever? What is that, a firefighter, two cowboys and Rod Marinelli?

Don emailed me this weekend to tell me that Flacco looks like Neil O'Donnell. I can take a hint.

That all being said, let's review the "Things That Were Awesome," "Things That Were Not Awesome," and "Things That Were Mildly Irritating."

1. Big Ben!

2. Willie. Parker. - 27 rushes, 146 yds, 2 TDs. MONSTER game...

3. None of these...

4. Silverback - I highly suggest you get yourselves one of these...

5. The Wood - 4 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 scorching case of awesome

Well, isn't this awkward?

6. Larry Foote - 5 tackles and a pick

7. Sansmokio's punt return magic!

8. The O LINE!

9. This seal of approval from Tomlin...

10. HEEEEAAATTTHHHHH! 3 catches, 37 yds, 1 TD

1. Sweet Sweed hands, dude...

Don't worry, I'm only joking. They only threw to him once. What did you want?

2. Please find another trick play. The Reverse is useless
3. Roughing the passer on Troy? Looked like a love tap to me
4. No pick for Ike even though it looked like he wrestled it away AND stayed in bounds
5. At least two Offensive Line penalties annulling at least two solid plays

1. Going for it on 4th down and not making it
2. Going for it on 4th down AND GOAL and not making it
3. Darren Sproles' 63 yard kick return
4. Chargers TD drive early on in the 4th Quarter
5. Rivers to Jackson - 67 yds for the first 7 pts of the game

You know what, though, guys. There's one thing we're all forgetting. The Eagles have pretty much already won the Super Bowl. We might as well not even play this next game, because we all know, even if the Steelers win, the Donovan McNabb-Andy Reid connection will manage the Super Bowl to victory.

Brian Dawkins cried after yesterday's Eagles victory. Talk about a drama queen. ESPN's Tom Jackson said he loved it [Dawkins' emotion]. But to be fair, Tom Jackson also loves butterscotch krimpets and fuchsia neckties (not joking). Hey Dawkins, why don't you and Ray Lewis start a club for overdramatic football players...and, fruitcups. You know who cries? Terrell Owens, and Ravens fans. Get it together. Like I give a shit either way.

Challenge of the Week = Count how many Eagles fans you talk to who mention the Eagles winning the Super Bowl. Expect a lot of sound logic out of these individuals. Not.

I already heard ESPN prematurely ejaculating the notion of a Turnpike Super Bowl. Sorry, folks. Can't get that far ahead. But for the record, if it did happen, I'd predict - Mike Tomlin, 800 - Andy Reid, 7.

Andy Reid reminds me of a walrus.

There is no better way to summarize that Giants-Eagles game than this picture...

Yeah, you and the entire Giants offense, dude.


...Man, these posts go way better when I actually have something to write about.

OH yeah, apparently the new shit is good luck...

Now, I know y'all have some thoughts to share about THAT game, right?


domski43 said...

there is definitely a qb controversy in pittsburgh. byron leftwich looks like he has the edge to start next week b/c he finished the game.

great complete game by the steelers. great game plan by hcmt and staff. i'm done celebrating though, its ravens week.

fire andy reid, trade mcnabb, start kevin kolb.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Swiss Army GumBen, for curing cancer all 17 seconds you were on the sideline in the 3rd quarter.

Marc said...

Great game, when Ben punted everyone in the stands around me was like WTF, I yelled "He's going to punt" everyone is like "ummm he's a quarterback"

Christy said...

We have an offense??

We actually have an offense that's not offensive????


Christy said...

And thanks for the link for the t-shirt. No question I'm ordering me one of those.

Get Fresh Designs said...

That third quarter blew my mind. I was in awe.

I can't believe there wasn't any holding penalties against the chargers for Harrison, one play he was simply tackled as he was getting to rivers.
Heath Miller gets called for holding as the defender is falling to the ground, no where near the runner.

Anonymous said...

Eagles 15, Steelers 6. Sound familiar?

Ben Roethlisberger sacked 8 times and running for his life on every play. Remember that?

Before you make light of the Eagles, you'd do well to remember who handed the Steelers their worst, most humiliating defeat of the year.

And before you make light of Eagles fans' logic, you'd do well to remember that it's rarely any worse than the so-called logic of Steelers fans who believe their team would win because their coach is thinner and better looking. Or, you know, just because they're the mighty Steelers, man!

Steelers-Eagles would be a hell of a game. Easily the most compelling of the possibilities left. And, ESPN creaming or sports blog homering aside, chock full of good story lines and great strategic match-ups.

matt said...

Great to see us run the ball well again!

Arians looked like he was going to abandon the run game in the 2nd qtr though.

Can't lie...I'm really nervous (as I'm sure you all are) about a 3rd matchup w/ the Ravens.

tecmo said...

The holding no-calls on the OLines we play is getting damn near ridiculous. They should just start a new stat where the LT gets a sack for everytime he tackles Silverback.

Cotter said...

domski ~ Ravens week, indeed. As much as I feel good about yesterday, we still don't know how much of that will carry over to this weekend. The Ravens are a hell of a team, despite how I feel about their fanbase. I can only hope we look like we did yesterday.

ladi izz ~ Glad you caught that subtlety! Dude can be a miracle worker. Viva Benjaya!!

marc ~ Possibly my favorite play of the day! I definitely did not see it coming, but I applauded the hell out of it after it happened. Who knew Ben could punt with his LEFT leg? Ridic!

christy ~ Hell yeah, I'll be ordering my own this afternoon as well. Gotta t-shirt up for Sunday. Shit is gonna be rough.

doug ~ 3rd Quarter was absolutely ridic! I couldn't even believe it. I'm pretty sure my neighbors thought I was dying or something, I was screaming so loud. And how about Santonio's punt return? SICKENING!

anon ~ Whatever. We all saw the game. We know the Eagles were killin' Big Ben. Just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again. Thanks for telling me what I'd "do well to remember," though. I'll be sure to give that due consideration. Or something.

matt ~ Yeah, I mean that's obviously going to be a tough game, and much like that Ravens-Titans game, whomsoever emerges victorious may also likely be physically drained. I just can't wait to watch. I would LOVE to see us beat the Ravens THREE times in one season. It isn't going to be easy, though.

tec ~ Yeah, I'm pretty much assuming they're going to happen. Hopefully, all the attention on Silverback will allow The Wood to drop fools like he dropped that fruit salad twice yesterday. We should start a tally, though. It could be a drinking game. Drink everytime Silverback gets held and it's not called.

tecmo said...

we wouldn't make it past the first quarter

but then we'd be redeemed becasue the o would be on the field for the entire 3rd

Anonymous said...

Dawkins puts everything out there when he's on the field. That's exactly what Philadelphia needs, and thankfully he's providing. Just like Hines: http://www.bostonbrat.net/blogimg/2007_09_hinesward.jpg

I'll take it.

Challenge of the Week = avoid intelligent football talk and worrying about the Ravens by making jokes and posting funny pictures. amirite?

tecmo said...

No one is discounting Dawkins. He's one of my favorite players.

Why do you think you dictate what a blogger can and can't put on HIS blog?

Get Fresh Designs said...


Hines Ward crying after an AFC Championship loss in which he couldn't get Bettis to the Super Bowl and the fact that Bettis wanted to retire.

Dawkins crying because they made another trip to the NFC title game.

They're not equal.

tecmo said...

Doug - Which makes them (Dawkins and Hines) the same as T.O. and his crying spell.

"We made our 5th NFC Championship Game in 8 years (cries)"

"Quit making fun of my quarterback, even though he helped lose this game for us (cries)"

"One of the best RBs in NFL history might retire without the satisfaction of at least playing in a Super Bowl (cries)"

I can totally see how it all is similar.

Comparisons are stupid.

tecmo said...

PS - I was insulting Anon, not you, Doug. My wording choice was a little messy.

And really...Eagles trolls already? How about go talk about Arizona. Somewhere else.

Notgomu said...

I thought the loss to the Titans was our worst loss of the season.? Whatever, great game. No ulcers after the first 3 minutes of the game. No doubts after 35-17 in the 4th quarter. One of my best friends is a ravens fan. I would like nothing more than to beat them again. Oh, and I think that's a manatee not a walrus.

tecmo said...

Sea Cow? Fatass?

/jim gaffigan'd

domski43 said...

eagles must have already beat arizona. my in-laws are all eagles fans, i love giving them a hard time after they gave up on their team and were cheering against them in hopes of mcnabb and reid leaving town. crow soup anyone?

titans/ravens was a deathmatch. the titans are probably crying into their baby blue towels as i type this comment.

ravens are going to be a tough test. for some reason i have a feeling that this game will not be as close as the past 2 during the season. one team will win large. hopefully the team not wearing purple w/out male cheerleaders.

tecmo said...

oh yeah...cotter and I during the titans/ravens game:

"its a purple team versus a powder blue team"

that's all that needed to be said

Cotter said...

anon ~ I never claimed to provide intelligent football talk. Besides, if you bothered to ask, I'd tell you that I respect the hell out of Dawkins' play. I was just saying that all they did was get to the NFC Championship game, which they still have to WIN. No doubt Hines Ward is a crier too, and I'd make fun of him just as I did Dawkins, Ray Lewis and TO. Relax, bro. We're not even playing each other yet.

And since you're such an expert on what I SHOULD be writing, perhaps you'd like to impress me and show me your blog? Entertainment, my friend. If I didn't provide it, I'd be just like everyone else.

On a completely unrelated note, from now on I'm going to start referring to anonymous commenters as "Larry David" (see Curb Your Enthusiasm, Season 6).

tiny350Z said...

This comment thread provided for some great lunch entertainment! Crazy how the eagles fans are coming out so soon. In addition, @ Notgomu, I believe you are correct in saying that the loss to the Titans was the worst of the season.

Anyway, great game. I, too, didn't like seeing the empty backfield after we had been running the ball so well. But if this is the way our team is playing in the post season keep it up! We're looking good.

Already saw some retard in a Flacco jersey today. Really? It's flipping Monday... and at work? Come on.

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

Cotter ~ Tread lightly my friend. I'm not going to get all heated right now, but we certainly have an excellent shot at getting their.

Cotter said...

Jesus Christ, man. Not you too, Silky!

No one is saying they don't have a good shot. I am well aware of their chances for success. I was saying, as we Steelers fans should not, you Eagles fans might also want to not overlook the NFC Championship game. Unfortunately, they don't just go around handing out Super Bowl bids for having a great wild card and divisional round.

That said, good luck to y'all! But mostly because you're one of my best friends. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't care.

Anonymous said...

larry david here....

temco: i can't dictate what cotter puts on his blog, but i can certainly comment about it to high holy hell. that's why comments are enabled, right? you are an awfully chatty sidekick!

as for the eagles chance to win the big game? it's precisely equal to pittsburgh's chances. two more games.

and don't fuck with butterscotch krimpets.

Cotter said...

/over it