July 16, 2008

Your Very Own Fistful of Steel...


Alright, fine. I admit it. I couldn't think of a single thing to write about yesterday (errr...Monday evening when I went to write a post).

For a second I almost caught myself writing about polyanna Brett Favre. Then I threw up a little bit in my mouth and that was that.

But today, I've got a premise for you. Well actually, KDKA has a premise for you. I'm just going to talk about it for two or three paragraphs, ask you a few questions and send you on your merry way with a few less brain cells.

Today's topic - How'd you like to buy a share in the Steelers?

So let me get this straight...you mean all I'd have to do is plunk down a few hard earned greenbacks and I too could be part owner of the greatest franchise in NFL history? Well paint my face and call me Stanley! What a fabulous idea. Too bad The Chief came up with it last Tuesday.

Anyways, for what it's worth - I'd be one of the first in line. Sure, it wouldn't guarantee me anything more than the satisfaction that I'm financially supporting the team I love. But as long as they send Steely McBeam over to rub me down once a quarter, I'm good. Kidding, kidding.

Seriously though, I'd definitely throw down some coin to grab a piece of the Black 'n Gold. I'd much rather place the team at the disposal of a handful of directors than just one man whose real intentions are largely unknown. Nothing against this Druckenmiller cat or anyone else who might be financially interested in the team. I just can't trust anyone who's main occupation is playing with other people's money (no lawyer jokes either, thanks).

That said, and before random asshole chimes in - the bad news is, NFL league rules no longer allow this sort of chicanery. So the point is moot. But isn't it fun to think about? I'll be saving my pennies just in case.

How about you guys? Would you buy a few shares in the Steelers if you had the opportunity? And if so, what would be your first official duty?

I know what mine would be (semi-not work appropriate)...

Oh, and one more thing. Since I obviously have masochistic tendencies and decided to take three classes over summer session, I'll regretfully be leaving you all in Domski's hands until next Wednesday (studying for finals). I'll pop my head out for Friday's Meeting People Is Easy. But otherwise, all I'll be reading about is "Legal Ethics" (hold the jokes, I've heard them all already) and "Accounting for Lawyers" (I knows me sum maths).

We've done this before. You know the drill.

I'll miss you guys, (/tear).

xoxoxoxo,

- Cotter

10 comments:

The Immortal Silky Johnson said...

I would definitely buy some stock in my team if I was able to do so.

Cotter said...

That's good to know man. I think in your case you might as well just invest in Enron. Ah, I kid, I kid.

tecmo said...

Would you only be able to buy a fistful? What if I'd want, I don't know, like a basketful or so? Out of luck?

Can I get more question marks? Yes?

domski43 said...

i would love to own a small piece of the stillers...but i'd rather just have season tickets for life

Cotter said...

tec ~ threshold for maximum # of question marks has been exceeded. FAIL!

domski ~ uh, yeah. I mean, who wouldn't? I'd also like a date with Kristin Bell. But I don't see that happening anytime soon...

domski43 said...

the first step is to trade in the hyundai for a private jet/helicopter

Cotter said...

That or make the Hyundai INTO a private jet/helicopter. That'd be bad ass...

random asshole said...

I call dibs on Sepulveda. I've always wanted my own personal punter.

Oh, you mean the owners don't get to parade the players around like pets? Damn.

Seriously, though, in the article it says:

"Also, the NFL no longer allows it, the league rules stipulate that no team can have more than 32 owners and one must own more than 30 percent."

For a certain "lawyer" in the audience, would one be permitted to form some type of holding company that technically owns the Steelers, then allowing people to purchase shares of said holding company? I think we need someone to dig through the legalese of NFL regulations. I propose that someone is anyone but me.

Cotter said...

Good question. Not knowing the details of the league rules beyond what little the KDKA article provided, I can't be sure.

On it's face, it seems like that'd be kosher. BUT, since the rule is meant to discourage having an excessive amount of owners (a la Green Bay), the NFL would probably abort that plan pretty quickly. Wouldn't want anyone trying to catch them on a technicality. The purpose is undoubtedly more important than the black letter of the rule.

I'd also like to add - Sepulveda. Solid choice.

Cotter said...

** That is, assuming the purpose of the rule is in fact to discourage an unusually high number of owners...

But even if they did set up a holding company, Dan Rooney would still need to somehow come up with the money to purchase 14% more of the team (needs 30% of shares to stay in control).

My head hurts.