October 1, 2007

What Is This? The 8th Grade?

You might recall me reporting last week that the Bengals are having a little problem with some rats with wings. And you might recall that their initial solution for said problem was to allow employees to ready their firearms, take aim and blow these birds out of sky...er stadium as it were.

Well, as you could imagine, this didn't really mesh with how the City of Cincinnati saw the problem getting resolved (nor the omnipresent PETA). So just to update you on the actual resolution of this issue -- the City and Bengals employees agreed that the best way to go about clearing these pigeons out was to aim laser pointers at them.

Boy, I would've loved to have been at that roundtable meeting of the minds. If you can only imagine. "Gentleman, we have a problem. Birds are shitting on our fans and their tasty treats at games. We just can't have this tarnishing the good name of Cincinnati, Ohio. The team has offered to shoot these things with air rifles, but eh...I'm a little skeptic. What would you all propose we do? Oh, laser pointers? Yeah, good call. It sufficiently angered my 8th grade biology teacher. So I guess if it worked on one pest, it's worth a shot."

I mean honestly. The logic? Where does that come from? Oh wait, that's right. These are the same jackasses that put cinnamon in their chili. Doesn't that say it all...

Hope you're all enjoying the game!

Bengals to Use Laser Pointers to Rid Stadium of Pigeons [ESPN]

2 comments:

domski43 said...

agreed....cinammon in chili is ridiculous. unfortunately, i've recently encountered jerk chicken from a carribean rest. on market street in wilmington, de...once again, the addition of cinammon was a giant kick in the balls. i have officially volunteered to help the bengals rid paul brown stadium of the pigeons using my laser pointer..that probably has to be the best job in america. drewbreez should take that job and use his batman signal to scare the birds away.

Former Yinzer in Bungles Country Now said...

I have to say, I love you guys so very much. I am a Yinzer by birth and even worked through college in the steel mill my father still works at today as he (hopefully nears retirement soon). I moved to Cincinnati about 2 years ago and I miss the 'Burgh and all my fellow Steelers fans.

You won't hear me making any excuses for these Bung-holes fan who chant "Who Dey" to you like it's an "aloha" or something. For the Record - I usually reply by saying, "Screw Dey!" Anyway - back to the chili - there are two chains here - Gold Star Chili is the one that is cinnamon-based. It's eh - ok I guess. The other - more popular one - is Skyline Chili and their's is actually chocolate based! I know it sounds disgusting and when I first moved here I was crying for a Primanti Bros. but eventually I gave in and guess what - Skyline is pretty damned good! I mean it! If you haven't tried it - it's well worth it. The chocolate is just as I said - it's a base - not a primary ingredient. There are no beans in Cincinnati chili (you have to request Tex Mex if you want it). If you're ever down this way - you should really try it out - there's a Skyline at just about every damned exit in this city! But, honestly - I'm a 'Burghboy - If it was shit - I'd tell yinz it was shit!