AFC North Headlines of the Day...

This was a toss up. I've got two Ravens headlines today. The one above, which of course is pretty self-explanatory.

And then there's this...

Apparently Demetrius Williams is Spiderman. So, who's Demetrius Williams again? Kidding...ish.

Oh, and in departed Ravens news, Brian Billick is allegedly about to take the blogosphere by storm. Yeah, because he was so interesting and fun when he was a Coach. Why not make him a blogger? This sounds like it has FAIL written all over it.

Flacco starting + Spiderman catching + Billick blogging = CHAMPIONSHIP!

Superman In Cleats, Huh?

"But I’m not going into this game thinking I’m scared of this defensive end (Williams) because that would be me saying I don’t have confidence in my offensive line. I do. I think they’re going to do a great job of keeping all those guys away."

- Big Ben

First off, thank GOD football is back! This is so God damned exciting that Ravenstahl declared today, "Black 'n Gold Day." You know, as opposed to every other day in Pittsburgh...when it isn't Black 'n Gold day? Anyways, I for one have dressed for the occasion...


And now that that's out of the way...

Oh God, no! Not the Texans Pass Rush! What'll We Do?

Guys, let's get serious. It's been widely noted and discussed that our Offensive Line is about as concrete as the Bengals commitment to winning. So naturally, many Steelers fans and writers are all worked up over how said Offensive Line will handle the Houston Texans vaunted pass rush. Wait, did I just write that the Texans pass rush is vaunted? Nevermind.

Ok, so Willie Colon thinks Mario Williams is Superman in cleats? Well let me tell you, to Willie Colon, I'll bet Kimo Von Oelhoffen would look like Superman in cleats. So I'm certainly less than comfortable knowing that Colon will be one of the men tasked with blocking ol' Super Mario. But let me ask you all this - outside of Mario Williams, Amobi Okoye, and DeMeco Ryans, who else in the Texans front seven scares you? Morlon Greenwood? Travis Johnson?

Alright, to be fair - Williams, Okoye and Ryans are forces. It's definitely not going to be a walk in the park. Williams himself, registered 14 sacks last season, Okoye had five and a half and Ryans added two more. Still, I'm having a hard time believing that our Offensive will just fold like a lawn chair (or alternatively, get smacked around like they tried to stop Silverback from getting his kid baptized).

Then again, I'm a Steelers fan. Farbeit from me to underestimate any team or understate the importance of any game. This will by no means be a blip on our radar. While it maybe the easiest game we have on paper, matchups do not simply dictate wins and losses. So I'll be watching a few things...which are:

1. The "Offensive" Line
I think I've made my feelings on this pretty clear. That said, I hope they prove all the critics wrong and stonewall jackson "Superman in cleats" et al.

2. The Secondary
They looked alright this preseason. But they're notoriously low in the takeaways category. I'd really like to see a pick or two. Maybe even watch Troy terrorize Matt Schaub a little bit. You know, stuff we used to do back in 2004/2005.

3. Master Fly W. Large
AKA Willie Parker. I'm not doubting the fast one. I'm just saying, he broke his leg all of nine months ago or so. For a featured back, that isn't an easy injury to deal with. And while I know Willie trains hard, and looks to be in good shape from the preseason, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't waiting to see how he does against a team with a gifted Defensive End like Mario Williams. Do us proud, Willie. Is 209 yards too high of an expectation?

Either way, I've spent the last eight months doing my best to scrape the barrel of creativity in my brain and bring you posts that won't make you wish you were reading the insides of your eyelids. For those of you who don't blog, that ain't easy. But now, we're finally back on track. If you're not psyched, you must be a Phil Simms fan. So let's enjoy every minute of this. I can't wait 'til Sunday.

And if you're looking to indulge your domestic side, you enterprising tailgaters, you, check out TSW's Friday Football Foodie. Tostada cups and mint juleps and Michelob Ultra Pomegranate Raspberry, oh my! I might finally get some use out of that muffin tin my ex-girlfriend bought for our then-shared apartment (only to make muffins a whopping one time...now I'm stuck with this bullshit...or I could just throw it out). Bonus.

So let's hear it -- What do you guys think about the Texans pass rush? Too much for our "feeble line" to handle? Any thoughts on Fast Willie? And, of course, will Ike Taylor actually nab an interception on Sunday?

AFC North Headline of the Day...

That's right, just ease him in. 2nd year Corner, started two games last year. Shouldn't be a problem for him to cover one of the leagues finest, biggest receivers (and biggest assholes).

Who the hell is Brandon McDonald? Oh, he's Steve McNair's cousin...well I'll be damned. Learn something new everyday.

Browns Secondary = CHAMPIONSHIP!

FINALLY...What Took So Long?

Well, Sean. As they say - It's been real. It's been fun. But it hasn't been real fun. You can let yourself out...

Mahan's time here was short. But his impact was large...unlike his stature. The undersized Center/Guard was a Steeler for but one season, but he accomplished enough to last a life time. A life time of sucking, that is.

Nevertheless, ol' Seanny boy did start all 16 games last season. And that's gotta count for something. So Sean Mahan, I'd like to hereby thank you for your service...and ask that you leave your VIP card to the Locker Room on your way out.

I'd just like to personally thank Jon Gruden, the Tampa Bay brass, Tomlin and the the Steelers brass for making this happen. Goodbye disappointment. Hello undisclosed draft pick.

And make way for Darnell Stapleton at backup Center.

Anyone feel differently?



REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Send Mahan Back to Tampa [Pro Football Talk]
Steelers Trade Backup Center [Post-Gazette]
Steelers Trade Mahan to Tampa [Trib]

We Need YOU...

Tecmo and I, that is, require your expert assistance in coming up with a title for our "pregame show" extravaganza and all you can eat, pot luck dinner (minus that last part).

We're trying to craft a name that somehow ties the 'Burgh to NYC, where we both currently reside/work.

So far the best ideas we've come up with are - Penn Station Square, One River Down, and The Big Apple-Flavored Ketchup.

...In other words, we really need your help.

So put your thinking caps on and ideate, friends! Free t-shirt to anyone who gives us a name we can use.

Write that down (because I'll forget).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: In case you missed them the first time and are too lazy to scroll down to the next post, click here to see some clips of what to expect]

Direct all ideas to...
Tecmo - psampmail [at] gmail [dot] com
Cotter - onefortheotherthumb [at] gmail [dot] com

AFC North Headline of the Day...

Well, I for one, am convinced.

I mean Chad Johnson Ocho Cinco hardly ever speaks unless there's something extremely important to be said. So he MUST be "ready and focused."

Ready and Focused Ocho Asshole = CHAMPIONSHIP!