Joey Harrington's Receivers Are Dumping On Him and Eli Manning Is Just So Mad At Himself For Throwing That Interception...

Dear NFL Executives,
Please do not schedule any more Monday Night games involving the Atlanta Falcons. They make me want to stick a pen in my eye.

In fact, here is a list of 5 things I'd rather do than watch the Falcons play football:

1. Listen to my Mother tell me why I should pay my credit card bills
2. Watch anything on the Style network
3. Have Joba Chamberlain fire baseballs at my junk
4. Walk Michael Vick's dogs
5. Clean my bathroom after a long weekend of cheap beer and chili nachos

Your help in this matter would be very much appreciated.

Sincerely,
Cotter