March 10, 2009

So, Let's Talk Responsibility...

I've lost a lot of things in my life.

Baseball cards, cell phones, money (see: law school), my virginity (don't bother making a joke about this, it won't be funny). But I can't really imagine that if I had an AFC Championship ring, I'd be losing THAT.

Unfortunately for him, former Steeler, Brenden Stai, isn't me. Because HE in fact did just that - he lost his 1995 AFC Championship ring.

But wait, that isn't the story here.

You know where they found it?

Dude lost his 1995 AFC Championship Ring and it somehow turned up at

You can't really script things better than that without some sort of batshit crazy scorned lover, a knife, and dick being involved.

And yet, that's not the amazing part about this story. The amazing part, in my opinion, was that he reported it stolen in 2000.

Which means that for the last like eight, possibly nine years depending on the exact timing, Brendan Stai's been wondering where this thing is, and somehow runs a few low budget, daytime, borderline infomercials, and the thing shows up quicker than Brady Quinn at a Jonas Brothers concert?

I'm not sure if that says something good about, or something bad about Florida State Law Enforcement.

PS - No offense on the hatchet job it seems like I just gave your commercials, What the hell do I know about commercials? You're obviously doing something right.

Now, putting aside the fact that if I had a 1995 AFC Championship Ring, I might vomit every time I looked at it, if I had to guess, I'd say this was the work of this guy...

He may not have any connection to this particular set of circumstances, but terrorism is everywhere, dude.

Good lookin' out by the people at, though. They're the real heroes here. Actually, they're the only heroes. And I don't know if I'd even call them "heroes," per se. But I think it still might have some meaning...

Anyways, bravo gentlemen (and women). Ed McMahon would be proud.

By the way, no idea if any of this made sense. I'm not really even awake right. Finds Stolen Pittsburgh Steelers AFC Championship Ring [Marketwire]


Marc said...

Lost my work ID last week. Pretty pissed about that.

tiny350Z said...

Florida State Law Enforcement is busy responding to 9-1-1 calls regarding missing McNuggets... and apparently another guy called because a Burger King was out of lemonade.

Clearly, they have bigger filet o' fish to fry... Sorry, that was awful. Showing myself out, now.

Noah said...

I can't imagine losing something of that significance. Hey at least if you played for the Bills when they won 4 straight of those things and lost one, it wouldn't matter, you would have 3 more.....

matt said...

Gimme back my filet o' fish, gimme that fish!