February 20, 2009

What A Perfect Way To End A Week...

Alright, kids, this is it. Friday post, marking the beginning of what should hopefully be a glorious weekend for yinz.

But before you get all prettied up...and liquored up, I'm happy to let y'all know that Jeff Reed has owned up to his indiscretions and plead guilty to beating the shit out of a paper towel dispenser and dropping some colorful language on some poor virgin-eared Sheetz employee.

As if anything else was going to happen.

What, he was going to plead NOT guilty?

Security cameras, dude. Terrorism is everywhere.

If you were sitting there thinking, "Man, they're totally gonna nail Jeff Reed for this one. They're gonna kick him off the team," you probably shouldn't go near any sharp (or blunt) objects, operate any heavy machinery or cross the street without a "buddy."

Anyways, J-money's punishment?

A $543.10 fine. Well, actually, it was a $333.10 fine. The other $210 went to the Sheetz he desecrated. With that kind of dough, they may even be able to afford TWO new paper towel dispensers. And of course, more dispensers = more paper towels. So Jeff Reed wins twice.

But make no mistake, New Alexandria Sheetz. Next time he's there, you better damn well have paper towels. Otherwise Jeff might have to choke a bitch.

Dear Everyone,
So, can we stop talking about this now and move on to something else?

Great, thanks.


- Your Pal, Cotter

Roughing up a paper towel dispenser? Man, that's one of the pussiest disorderly conducts I've ever heard. You gotta step up your game, Jeff Reed.

And now, in order to start the weekend off right, here's a solid little YouTube to make you chuckle. This one's for Jeff Reed...

Week in review will be up and fully operational at some point tomorrow morning. Who knows what kind of ridiculous shit I'm gonna pull out this week? Even I don't know until I sit down at my laptop. You'll just have to drop by tomorrow and find out.

My head hurts. I'm tired. And clearly the section of my brain that controls my sense of humor has closed up shop for the day. So I'm cutting it off right now. Until tomorrow, dudes and dudettes - don't be a fool, stay in school.

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