Day 3...Not Going To Make It to Sunday...

So it's officially Day 3 of the longest week of my life.

Apparently the Steelers are still taking full advantage of those free camcorders...











Nerds.

I can't really blame them, though. I'm a sucker for free schwag, myself. It's too bad I haven't quite graduated from the free keychain category to the free camcorder category. New Year's resolution #1 - get some better tchotchkes.

But I digress...

According to this photo's caption, this is Willie Colon getting interviewed...

The problem, of course, is that's Limas Sweed. Hey, honest mistake. Wide Receivers and Offensive Tackles are almost indistinguishable.

I love Dan Rooney...

I really do. I think he's a fantastic human being and a fantastic team owner. But, Mr. Rooney, the pants. Two things. #1 - Steve Urkel told me to tell you that he digs your style. #2 - Is that Wilbon in the early 90s Sinbad-esque track suit?

So anyway, I should probably talk about something today...

I'm not a gambler. In fact, I have a hard time seeing the fun in it. Maybe that's because my current net worth is approximately "in the shitter." I don't know. But for whatever reason, blowing hundreds, even thousands of dollars on the slight chance that at some point I could win one-tenth of it back, just isn't my thing. Frankly, if I'm going to waste money on something, I want something out of it every time. That's why I drink. So anyway, talking about odds is out.

But I am pretty good at coming up with ridiculous arbitrary shit. So I've gone with my strengths and put together a quick list of "Things to Watch for This Week." You know, the stuff that they aren't going to make a story out of, but you know is going on anyway.

Check it...

Dick Lebeau moving shit with his mind

Jedi Master, I'm tellin' you.

Dezmond Sherrod

Seriously, who the hell is Dezmond Sherrod? I swear they're making this guy up.

People worshiping at the altar of Larry Fitzgerald

Like probably Kurt Warner, for instance.

Max Starks hanging out with an old Jewish guy

I swear to God I didn't photoshop that. Jim can corroborate. Aggressive beard on the old Jewish guy, by the way.

Steely McDevil

Of course, Steely McDevil! I doubt you needed me to tell you that.

So yeah, then that happened. Seriously, if anyone knows how to speed up time, definitely hit the button. You know who's probably on top of that? Al Gore. Somebody should get him on the horn.

But enough about Al Gore, The Oracle...

I never thought I'd say this about anything starring Ray Lewis (or Matt Light for that matter), but this Sobe Super Bowl commercial is pretty solid...

Scary that this thing's going to be in 3D for the Super Bowl. Matt Light doing the Apache may be too much to handle. If you have any interest in the Behind The Scenes clip, feel free to check that out as well, here.

Oh, and Tom Brady "plans" to be back for the Pats opener next year. So what? I plan on doing a lot of things. That doesn't mean I will, nay even CAN do them. In fact, I'm planning on winding this post down to an epic finish...

By proclaiming that if the Steelers lose, I'm blaming Donovan McNabb.

Hey, it works for Eagles fans...

It's either him or Vern.

Anything else you think I missed here? Anything else we should all watch for? Any specific reason why I keep asking questions?

/see, that plan was eff'd from Jump Street