Heeey Michael, Whaaat's Happe-ning?

Cut day. I wouldn't know anything about it since I've never played football nor have I ever been cut from any type of organized sports team (unless Extreme Shuffleboard counts). But I often wonder what it must be like when a guy gets cut in preseason. Does Tomlin take him out to Eat 'n' Park breakfast? A French Toast Smile to soften the blow, perhaps? Or is it more like Hoss's for a nice Surf 'n Turf dinner? Or maybe just Sheetz for some tapas?

Like I said, I don't know.

Still, that doesn't mean I can't use my active imagination and explore this a little bit. So for the sake of keeping things remotely entertaining around here, and humoring my odd curiosity, I've jotted down what I would like to think is how a typical cut might go. Below, you'll find the completely fictional and totally lacking in substantive value, exchange between recently departed Mikey Potts and Head BA in Charge, Mike Tomlin. I hope you enjoy.

Here' goes...

Tomlin: Michael, come in. Sit down. Let's chat. You want a Mint Double Stuff'd Oreo? I can't get enough of these things. It's like they took a slice of heaven and put it smack dab between two pieces of devilishly delicious chocolate-y crackers.

Potts: Uh, sure Coach. But umm, is that what you wanted to talk about?

Tomlin: Well, no. Not exactly. See Michael, sometimes there comes a time when people must part ways. Unfortunately for you and I, today is that day. Son, you've been cut.

Potts: But Coach Tomlin, I...

Tomlin: Now Michael, the important thing is that you act like we treat you around here. Like a man. And men don't cry. You hear that, son? Don't you cry on my couch, that's Corinthian leather imported from Newark, New Jersey!

Potts: Sorry Coach, I couldn't help myself. I mean, how could this happen? We went to the same Alma Mater? I thought I was really getting the hang of this NFL thing?

Tomlin: Michael, the reality of it is - sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you. Today, you need to take the next step. Which is, right out the door. Because we're at 80 and we need to be at 75 by tomorrow at 4 PM. I'm sorry son, it just isn't meant to be.

Potts: Well, can I ask a question then?

Tomlin: Sure, lay it on me Martavarius.

Potts: Sir, I'm...nevermind. Listen, what do you think I need to do to elevate my game to NFL level?

Tomlin: Damn these Primanti's sandwiches are ri-dic-u-lous! Have you had one of these? Un-friggin'-believable. A whole year and a half and I could still eat these everyday. Man, how do I get this whole thing into my gullet without tearing an ACL? Wait...what was the question again?

Potts: Uh, what do I need to do to catch on with an NFL team?

Tomlin: Oh right you are, young man.

Potts: Yeah, it was my question.

Tomlin: HEY! Did I say you could talk? Hold up! You wanna know what you need to do to make an NFL squad? Find Dr. James Andrews, Peyton Manning, Vince Young and Tom Brady, and convince the good doctor to learn plastic surgery. 'Cause you'd need Manning's arm, Young's legs and Brady's sex appeal. That or if you just wanna hang around and hold a clip board on the sidelines, you could probably just mug Brady Quinn and throw his jersey on.

Potts: That's fabulous. Real great advice. You know what? I'm happy I'm outta here. You know who needs a QB? Ken Whisenhunt. Mark my words, I will be an Arizona Cardinal soon. I'm calling scout extraordinaire Mike Boni now. Hey, at least I wouldn't throw three picks in a preseason game.

Tomlin: You got a point there, Jeremy.

Potts: Mike.

Tomlin: Who you callin', Mike? You can call me "Sir," "Coach," "Mr. T," or "Tinkerbell." But I know you ain't callin' me, Mike?

Potts: No Coach, my name's Mike.

Tomlin: Oh no it's not. Not anymore. I'm the only Mike in this room. Right now, at least. I'm callin' you, Joey. And Joey, I'd like to show you the door. Because you're friggin' cut! Now clear out before I have to go Bill Cowher on your ass. And let me warn you now, my saliva glands have been working overtime lately!

Potts: Whatever man, this is some BS. Have fun with Orpheus Roye, jagoff.

Tomlin: Wait, Omar Jacobs. You really wanna know why?

Potts: Omar Jacobs? I mean...uh...sure, I'll bite.

Tomlin: We're putting cover sheets on all our TPS reports now. Didn't you get that memo? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Potts: Alright, I'm outta here.

Tomlin: [inner narrative] Hmmm...I wonder what it would taste like if I put the Oreo on the sandwich...Oh man, that's the stuff. Hey, wait a minute, where's my IC Light? ... ... Hey yo Tommy Maddox, get back here!

[Fade Out - Hit play below for accompanying soundtrack selection]


Wow, was that some severe idiocy or what? Comments? Questions? Emotions? I'll wait 'til you're all done jamming to that sick tune...

And in other news today that might actually make you smarter, rather than dumber, Tec interviewed Bob Smizik. Yep, you read that correctly. The foreshadowed interviewee was none other than the man, the myth, the legend himself.

It's a really good read. And while I think there were a few semi-tense moments, each side was very open to what the other had to say. See, we all really can get along.

Of course, that probably wouldn't have been a problem for me, considering Smizik and friends probably don't even know I exist. HA! Under the radar...equip stealth armor...cloak Toyota Camry...

[EDITOR'S NOTE/UPDATE -- I refuse to devote an entire post to this, but the team just made what should be it's final cut of the week - Tight End, Cody Boyd. I can see you're all really broken up about it. I'll let you mourn in peace...]

So Long Mikey Potts, We Barely Knew You...

It is with a heavy heart that I deliver this sad news to all you ravenous Steelers faithful - OFTOT fav, QB Mikey Potts has just been cut. We knew this day would come. We just thought we would have gotten more time with him. Mikey P, good luck in Arizona. No doubt you'll be on a plane, headed there shortly. That's probably Whisenhunt on the horn now. Better let you go...

In other cuts/roster moves...

Jeremy Bloom - OUT!
Martavarius Prince - OUT!
Robopunter - OUT! (On IR, that is)

...And there will be one more lost before tomorrow's out (when the Steelers need to be down to 75).

But never you fear, Eddie Drummond's still here...

REFERENCE MATERIAL:
Steelers Cut Bloom, Put Sepulveda on IR [Trib]
The Legend of Mikey Potts [OFTOT]

The Legend of Mikey Potts...

[Original photo credit - Mike Potts' roomate]

Hey guys, guess what? The Steelers signed "former" washout Jaguars and Falcons QB, Byron Leftwich on Sunday. Of course, you may have heard this from Tobiathan already. Him or the Post-Gazette, that is.

With Charlie Batch possibly gone the way of Matt Leinart, the front office obviously felt less than comfortable with our only backup options being rookies, Dennis Dixon and Mike Potts. And while I can't say I blame them for wanting to bring in a guy who's already cut his teeth in the league, I have to think there were better options than Byron Leftwich...and I don't mean Daunte Culpepper.

Nonetheless, the good news is (as I mentioned in the comments yesterday) - he'll still be a back up. And he's been a starter for two different teams (albeit a mediocre one). So should we need him to step in, hopefully he would be capable enough not to fumble a snap at the end of regulation, sending the game into OT, where he would throw a game-ending interception to Rashean Mathis. PS - If you didn't get that joke, you should leave this blog immediately.

But who wants to talk about Byron Leftwich for an entire post? Come on, I wouldn't waste your precious time like that. You should know better.

What I really wanna discuss today is - undrafted and unknown rookie QB, Mike Potts. Sure, could be cut by the time I hit publish. But that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a little love from this here Steelers blog.

Not much is known [by me] about Potts, except that he's a 23-year old William and Mary product [from Middletown, Delaware] who Tecmo and Bob decided should be referred to as "Mikey" Potts. So I did a little investigating. Because what else do I have to do, I write a sports blog. What I discovered was a list of Mike Potts' on these here interwebs that may or may not be the same Mikey Potts, the Steelers QB.

Here they are in no particular order...

1. Mike Potts, President and CEO of AirDefense
It'd be pretty tough for a 21-year old to have become President and CEO of any company, what with that four year party they call college going on. But hey, it worked for Mark Zuckerberg. So why not Mikey Potts?

2. Mike Potts, former Milwaukee Brewer.
A 7.15 ERA in 45 career innings?!?! This can NOT be Mikey Potts. Mikey Potts would definitely have been 3.00 or lower. Next!

3. Mike Potts, Arkansas-Based Gynecologist extraordinaire.
Now, I'm not trying to take anything away from the Mercy Women's Clinic. I'm sure they do great work and they seem like a nice, helpful organization. But Mikey Potts, the Gynecologist, is a hell of a thought. I mean, if you can stare at well, you know what, all day, surely you can avoid the Browns pass rush (or lack thereof). That, or stare at Ben's ass all day (see picture above).

4. Mike Potts, Head of Jonesville Community Schools.
Your guess is as good as mine? I can't even think of a way to tie this one to Mikey Potts. Oops.

5. Mike Potts, accomplice to making Coke overflow with Mentos.
I'm pretty sure Mikey ain't British. So this scenario is highly unlikely. But as a recent college grad, it's certainly possible that he played around with one of history's most notorious at-home science experiments. How does this qualify him to be a Steelers QB? Because only smart people know how to make soda shoot out of a bottle with mentos. Actually, I think that's one of the requirements for entry into MENSA.

So there you have it. A bunch of random crap that you probably didn't need to, nor care to read about. As usual, my apologies for this gigantic waste of time.

And someone, please help out the REAL Mike Potts with his Wikidpedia page. That shit is hurtin'.

Questions for you this morning...
1. You guys have any thoughts on Leftwich?
2. Anyone think he'll be a positive asset? Negative asset?
3. Most importantly, which of the Mike Potts' above could be OUR Mike Potts?